I just screamed at my boyfriend

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So did I.

I don't see why things can't settle down.
Just be stoic and give each other space.

Are you in a position to go for long drives or walks?
A change of scenery is always good to break out of a troubling mindset. <hug>

He seemed a bit happier today, and I didn't want to bring the argument up so I left it at that. He's the type of person who doesn't seem to like dragging the past back up, although I don't always see yesterday as "the past" enough to have to forget about it. I'm the type of person who likes closure. But whatever.

I'm not really one to find going for long walks calming, as this pandemic has made me rather agoraphobic, which is a huge set back for me because I used to be agoraphobic and I worked hard to build up enough confidence to be independent, and now thanks to this COVID s**t my confidence, freedom and happiness has come crashing down. I live in a big city so whichever quiet place I'll go to walk there'll always be people, usually with noisy kids running around that I am not in the mood for.
I don't really think going for drives is a good thing because it's just another car on the road added to the already overcrowded traffic, and I believe that it'd be healthier for the environment if more people only went out in their cars when necessary or essential. There'll be less accidents too.

Driving is the only way to get more into quiet areas with less people.

And you’re not infecting anybody, and nobody is infecting you, while you’re driving the car.

I have gone on a long drive, with my k9 kids, three days running, now.
I am enjoying the cold rainy weather.
The main reason I'm out in the car is that it is too wet for the kids to play in parklands, but they enjoy the mobile outing.

Did you bring up his unemployment during the initial argument? I could see how that could play on someone brain for a while afterwards if so. Im sure he'll get over it, all couples have the occasional barn burner now and then.

As an aside, dont let the covid thing take you backwards, as someone who was also agoraphobic for a long time i understand how hard it is to break out of. As long as you wear a mask and keep your distance from people you'll most likely be fine, people are very understanding about personal space atm too so you dont have to worry about it for the most part.

Him being unemployed does not get me angry, as he's got valid reasons for being unemployed longer than expected.

I just wish I could find a way to respond to someone saying ''stop moaning'' to me without getting angry. And no, don't say ''don't moan'', because I actually don't moan much these days, but when I do 'moan' when I have a reason to, I just hate being told those two words. Pretending not to care is masking. I'm just trying to think of a good response to it, or even a way to be more mindful. I just hate the word ''moan''. I think it stems back to when I was a child I'd moan a lot without realising and everybody I met would say ''stop moaning''. This got said to me so much that it kind of lost it's meaning, and so I had to work on how to communicate without moaning so much. It took me years but by the time I hit my late teens I was more able to be more positive and it did work - I very seldom got told to ''stop moaning'', and I figured that people won't say that to me if I only moan about relevant things that others would moan about. Now I hardly ever moan at all, I am always positive with my boyfriend and hardly ever moan about the things I would have moaned about when I was a kid. So I don't expect to be told to stop moaning when I am just frustrated because of a lack of sleep. Like, what am I supposed to do? I can't be positive 100% of my life, that's not possible for anybody.



I'm not agoraphobic because of the virus, I just don't like all the rules in the stores and the way you have to queue up outside if there's too many people in the store, or the possibility that the bus will sail past me if there are too many passengers on, or that I might mess up and get shouted at. OK I'm aware of the arrows and lines on the floor now, but sometimes I automatically get up close to a store worker if I want to ask them something and they yell "step back!" I do this rather frequently because my hearing is not too good, not deaf enough to require hearing aids but sort of deaf enough to feel more comfortable standing 1 metre away at the farthest. Too metres just feels too far for me and I usually forget to keep 2 metres away when verbally interacting with someone.