28 Sep 2020, 1:38 pm
Teach51 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
If the content of a thread may upset me, and the title is reflective of that content, then I will know to avoid it or mentally prepare myself for it before clicking.
That's one way of dealing with it I suppose.
I don't think it will prevent potential abuse of the protection that the Haven awards in the future though.
I do not feel comfortable questioning the sincerity of someone's declared distress. That leads to more distress. We are just text on the internet, we are not known truly by most. Being accused when you are genuine is hurtful. Declarations of malevolence for all to see are very hurtful. Silencing the distressed is very very hurtful.
Teach51
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Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
28 Sep 2020, 1:51 pm
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
If the content of a thread may upset me, and the title is reflective of that content, then I will know to avoid it or mentally prepare myself for it before clicking.
That's one way of dealing with it I suppose.
I don't think it will prevent potential abuse of the protection that the Haven awards in the future though.
I do not feel comfortable questioning the sincerity of someone's declared distress. That leads to more distress. We are just text on the internet, we are not known truly by most. Being accused when you are genuine is hurtful. Declarations of malevolence for all to see are very hurtful. Silencing the distressed is very very hurtful.
Yes of course. I am still stinging from past abuse of members in the Haven and just wish to protect all members in the future.
Trolling and sock-puppets are not rare, I am just clarifying if we can improve things.
28 Sep 2020, 5:36 pm
Teach51 wrote:
magz wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
Perhaps the solution would be just to avoid the inflammatory wording of the title? That may help.
But how to enforce it without sending a message "you're doing things wrong!" to the OP who is potentially already in a poor mental health state?
Well,
That can be fully avoided by making it crystal clear that the title should be neutral and non- inflammatory in the rules.
"The political situation is doing me in" rather than " <politician name> is doing me in "
Precisely.
There was a thread in The Haven which was titled: ********, (I'm keeping this vague deliberately).
It was later changed to "*********, by the wishes of the OP, from memory.
This change to a neutral title was/is in keeping with the spirit of what I believe "The Haven" is all about.
Edit: Change as requested.
Last edited by Pepe on 28 Sep 2020, 6:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
28 Sep 2020, 5:48 pm
magz wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
I do know that people have been driven away because of their political views and their threads in the Haven were abused with very little objection from anyone in charge.
We're hoping to improve this. Stronger in number, I hope we can. When WP had more moderators, some specialized in managing The Haven, but none of them was present this summer Teach51 wrote:
That needs to be amended and loopholes should be firmly blocked by clear ruling in my opinion.
That's why the updated The Haven rules have been published.You need to remember that posters starting threads in The Haven [u]may be in extremely poor mental health state, that's one of the purposes of this subforum. Barely functioning, sometimes hardly verbal, unable to handle criticism or conflict - the Haven should still be a safe place for them.[/u]
That's why in The Haven, the responsibility is on the respondents' side, not on the OP's.
If you believe someone is abusing this special rule for any reason, report or PM us about a particular case.
The Haven should be a safe place for everyone, and in this case, for both sides of the political divide.
Triggering titles are triggering titles.
There are alternatives.
There is no need for them, surely?
Even people in distress need to follow the guidance.
A compassionate discussion via PM is always an option to remind people of the need to have a politically free "The Haven".
28 Sep 2020, 6:01 pm
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
If the content of a thread may upset me, and the title is reflective of that content, then I will know to avoid it or mentally prepare myself for it before clicking.
That's one way of dealing with it I suppose.
I don't think it will prevent potential abuse of the protection that the Haven awards in the future though.
I do not feel comfortable questioning the sincerity of someone's declared distress. That leads to more distress. We are just text on the internet, we are not known truly by most. Being accused when you are genuine is hurtful. Declarations of malevolence for all to see are very hurtful. Silencing the distressed is very very hurtful.
While there is potential for finding a "Loophole" around the rulz, "Sincerity" isn't the issue here.
People in emotional distress may "sincerely" act in a way which is distressing to others.
Keeping political triggers, in this particular case, out of The Haven has, on the surface, a simple solution through not politicising the Title, in particular.
28 Sep 2020, 6:05 pm
29 Sep 2020, 1:06 am
29 Sep 2020, 1:38 am
29 Sep 2020, 2:30 am
29 Sep 2020, 2:42 am
Why would someone want to trigger themselves? Isn't that like someone with PTSD deliberately putting themselves in a situation that will trigger them? 
Teach51
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Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
29 Sep 2020, 2:46 am
29 Sep 2020, 9:30 am
Teach51 wrote:
The fear that the Haven will be abused by members implementing a political agenda and attacking the OP for holding a particular view is not hypothetical, it has actually happened and has caused enormous distress and conflict. It should never have happened and must be avoided at all costs in the future.
A better idea would be to post political views in the PP&R forum, and not in The Haven. If one is posting in The Haven because they are being harassed for their political views, then just saying "I'm being harassed for my political views" without stating what those views are would also seem to be a wise course of action.Oops! There I go again, offering advice where none was asked for ... stupid me ... bad, stupid me ...
29 Sep 2020, 9:34 am
Fnord wrote:
Oops! There I go again, offering advice where none was asked for ... stupid me ... bad, stupid me ...
the first step is admitting you have a problem
29 Sep 2020, 9:39 am
29 Sep 2020, 9:40 am
29 Sep 2020, 9:49 am
