Neurodiverse and LGBT or Queer

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It's a good conversation starter if nothing else, wearing those types of things. My ex had bi pride colors wrapped around some dreadlocks. People who know what that means, would walk up and ask, comment on the colors...it's a handy way to meet like minded people or allies.

FYI I am lesbian, not queer nor LGBT (zero connection to G, B, or T). I don't go out to meet anyone at all. I'm no longer very interested in platonic relationships. I tried to force myself to go out when I was younger (to an lgbt youth group) because I thought that was the only way I'd ever meet a girlfriend, but it was tiring and not enjoyable. I felt fake and anxious. I got my first adult migraine by going out of town for a lesbian event. I always live in small towns because they are less noisy, so there's never any events nearby anyhow.

From what I've seen in online spaces, it's very unlikely I'll have much in common with most other lesbians, so I don't bother trying to forge friendships with them. No interest in being friends with men at all. A friendship with a bi woman would be no different than being friends with straight womyn to me.

If someone contacted me first, I'd make an effort, but there's no reason for me to initiate because I rarely see anything interesting in strangers. I don't actually value shared lesbianism in the context of friendship. I'm used to being the only lesbian I know of in the vicinity, so it'd be kind of weird. I think of lesbianism as something rather private, to be shared in the context of a sexual/romantic relationship, so I'm not interested in sharing it with friends.

Not really interested in neurodiverse groups. An autism group will probably be mostly men, so definitely not interested. Even a woman's group, again, I just rarely have much in common with or much interest in random other people, so I most likely wouldn't bother unless they covered some specific topic I like (I wouldn't go to a general social gathering). As for people with conditions other than autism, I'd expect it to be either mostly liking meeting up with neurotypicals (because adhd, etc. aren't as pervasive as autism, and therefore their minds, I hypothesize, are still mostly neurotypical) or completely inappropriate (because I'm too developmentally beyond people with Down's Syndrome, etc.)

I don't mention any specific conditions on dating sites because that gives people the opportunity to view me as disordered. I just mention certain traits I have to help people determine whether we're compatible.

There just aren't many people in my dating pool, and I've stopped going out because it's never enjoyable and always over-stimulating, so none of this comes up often.

What problems do you have with bi women? Let alone considering friends with men?

If you are going into relationships with other people considering only non-platonic viability, I imagine that can sour making connections with other people. I think it is common with most people on the spectrum to not have something in common with most other random people, but also that there are a lot of people out there still with things in common, I don't think it healthy to just throw away all possibility.

I think a lot of people can pick up these sorts of defeatist positions and can sabotage making healthy connections. Kind of like the type of male incels that think they could not have things in common with women because they are a "gamer" and there is apparently almost no women gamers. A lot of them act as "nice guys" that go into relationships with everyone of the opposite sex in whether they can get with them, and as far as I know that actually tends to turn people off.

I have met literally two in real life. Not that many, but yeah. I have met some. The thing of it is, had these people not said they were, I probably would never know. Likewise with myself, some people can tell I am sometimes, sometimes they can't, unless I relay that information. That's just how it is.

I was watching a documentary (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to hotlink it here, and I think I gave enough away, you guys can probably easily find and watch it now.) of this gay man who had an uncanny and interesting and remarkable hobby for hornet, bee, wasp nests, and he collected them. I don't think he outright said he was, but you could tell within a minute and a half of watching, that he was different. I found him very sweet and kind, and yeah.

So there. That's my take and two cents on this.