If you cannot respect boundaries don’t be a therapist.

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Thank you.

I just wanted to make sure!!

That's an interesting perspective because my thinking used to be the opposite. I always thought that therapy is pointless precisely because, according to their protocol, they can't be my friends. I always felt like sessions for just 1 hour once a week with someone who is supposed to remain a stranger the rest of the week, won't really solve any of my problems.

On the contrary, if I could get a therapist that could be my friend I would feel really lucky: for one thing, that would be a way of making friends on the first place since, as an aspie, I don't have any friends and I wish I did. But, apart from that, it would be the kind of friend who would be committed to solving all my problems.

But now that I read your post, I am wondering if I am missing something. I was assuming those policies were in place to protect the therapist, but now I see that they are trying to protect the patient too. So I guess, due to the fact that I don't have friends, I don't see all the ways in which friendships could be taxing. Plus apparently I don't see the benefits of therapy (since I want to add friendship to it in order for it to have a point).

I mean its not like I haven't had therapies before, I did. But they didn't help. Or maybe they didn't help because I didn't approach them in the right way. I tended to use therapy sessions to talk at length about whatever social interaction problems I was encountering, so it wasn't much different than talking to myself. Do you think I should have talked less and let the therapist talk?

Okay since she is 16, I avoid girls under 18, so what I am about to say doesn't apply to your response.

But let me go back to my actual concern, which are the women in their 20-s. I feel it is unfair that they avoid me because of what *other* men my age do. Now, I understand that they can't read my mind and know that when I say "hey I am not like them" then I am telling the truth so if they were to trust me they would trust everyone else too and get raped -- so then having someone like me unfairly ostracized is better than the alternative of them getting raped by someone. But then again, what am I supposed to do?!

So here is my situation. As a Christian I don't believe in sex before marriage. But, even if I was an atheist, I still won't see any point in sexually exploiting someone. After all, what I am desperate about is *emotional* validation. I don't see how it would be emotionally validating to take sexual advantage of someone. If anything, that would be the opposite since it would only rub in how much they don't like me. That plus also why would I want to risk prison sentence just for few minutes of pleasure, that won't make any sense.

Now I realize that what I wrote in the above paragraph is selfish because I gave all the reasons why it won't benefit me to do it, and I didn't even mention how much I would hurt a girl. Well, I do care about the girl too, but the reason I phrased it that way is to basically say that -- apart from the fact that they are selfish -- they are also incredibly stupid and illogical and I don't get why they do it. Well, apparently they do do it, so I can't deny the reality, I just don't get it.

But back to the point of my frustration: I feel it is unfair that I get ostracized due to something other people do. Those people are being so incredibly stupid and I am the one being punished for this.

And one more question. Since you mentioned specifically *older* men, I am wondering why is it older men more likely to rape than younger men? I mean, from biology point of view, the sex drive should be the highest in the early 20-s. Yet everyone says its the older men that women should beware of. So I was wondering about the logic behind it for quite some time, do you happen to have the answer to this question?

Are you referring to your therapist, or whom are you referring to?

Even though I was responding to this thread, I was responding after the responce I quoted, not before. Are you alluding to something I wrote in some of my other threads?

QFT, this is far, far afield of the topic of this thread.

Not everything I post is about you!  In the context of Bea's post, "QFT" means "Quoted For Truth".

Last edited by Fnord on 11 Feb 2021, 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Are you saying your therapist was diagnosed with Asperger, too?

And as far as you, was it "that" therapist that diagnosed you, or were you diagnosed by some other therapist?

If it was that therapist that diagnose you, do you suspect she diagnosed you with Asperger because she has it herself so she wanted you to be able to "relate to her perspective" better by giving you the same diagnosis?

I didn't know the abbreviation "quoated for truth". I call myself QFT as an abbreviation for "quantum field theory".

Not everything is about you.

Why do you assume I reacted this way because I thought everything is about me? I already told you why I reacted this way: its because

a) I saw QFT
b) I didn't know the abbreviation quoted for truth

Since I was told about that abbreviation I no longer think it was about me

But fact remains: since I didn't know that abbreviation before, thats why I asked.

But CollegeGirl brought this up first, and since she is the OP, I don't see anything wrong with continuing whatever topic she brought up.

Are you saying you give NT-s more leeway than aspies, or did I misread you? If I read it correctly, why is that?

I mean...in my experience it is often older men who act very creepy towards me. Or in a way that sets me on edge.

Not every older man is this way, but some are.

It’s sad that you have to deal with that, and it’s not fair. But it is the way it is sadly...I am sorry I don’t have a real answer for you.

I give aspies/HFA a little more leeway in some situations.

But not all, as you can see.

Thank you for saying this.