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Are these things still possible at 32 or older?

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funeralxempire
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11 Mar 2021, 3:24 pm

Marknis wrote:
I am currently short on time but what if I am successful at the speed dating event but still live with my mother and still have the same job?


Each piece of the puzzle you fit together is an accomplishment on it's own. Don't lose sight of that just because it looks like there's a lot of pieces to put together right now.

Even a relationship that lasts briefly will represent crossing milestones and will help with gaining insight and experience when it comes to understanding what you need to do to make a relationship work. Each goal you wish to accomplish is another side quest that will help you gain experience and understanding and confidence as you complete them. Pick a few that seem likely to produce success and pursue them, eventually you'll start seeing parts of your overall plan coming together. For example in regards to finding a better job, get your resumé up to date and research what might be immediate viable options for employment.

If you're like me you might be prone to getting distracted by how many pieces there are and not know where to start or convince yourself it's all insurmountable, but each chunk you deal with gets you a little bit closer. I know this is a lot easier said than done, but if it's what you want isn't it worth it?



Marknis
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12 Mar 2021, 2:33 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I am currently short on time but what if I am successful at the speed dating event but still live with my mother and still have the same job?


Each piece of the puzzle you fit together is an accomplishment on it's own. Don't lose sight of that just because it looks like there's a lot of pieces to put together right now.

Even a relationship that lasts briefly will represent crossing milestones and will help with gaining insight and experience when it comes to understanding what you need to do to make a relationship work. Each goal you wish to accomplish is another side quest that will help you gain experience and understanding and confidence as you complete them. Pick a few that seem likely to produce success and pursue them, eventually you'll start seeing parts of your overall plan coming together. For example in regards to finding a better job, get your resumé up to date and research what might be immediate viable options for employment.

If you're like me you might be prone to getting distracted by how many pieces there are and not know where to start or convince yourself it's all insurmountable, but each chunk you deal with gets you a little bit closer. I know this is a lot easier said than done, but if it's what you want isn't it worth it?


I used to be told baseless things like “God has a plan for you!” and my aunt claimed that God was “still writing your (my) love story!” but I don’t buy into that stuff. I’ve gained more following “Mark’s plan” than anything else even if that plan gets curveballs.



kraftiekortie
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12 Mar 2021, 2:40 pm

My personal feeling is that they meant no harm in saying those things. They were probably not correct; but it's what they believed in. People have said these sorts of things to me, too. But I knew they meant no harm. I just didn't take what they said to heart.

Definitely.....follow "Mark's Plan." And deal with the inevitable "curve balls."



funeralxempire
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12 Mar 2021, 3:05 pm

Marknis wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I am currently short on time but what if I am successful at the speed dating event but still live with my mother and still have the same job?


Each piece of the puzzle you fit together is an accomplishment on it's own. Don't lose sight of that just because it looks like there's a lot of pieces to put together right now.

Even a relationship that lasts briefly will represent crossing milestones and will help with gaining insight and experience when it comes to understanding what you need to do to make a relationship work. Each goal you wish to accomplish is another side quest that will help you gain experience and understanding and confidence as you complete them. Pick a few that seem likely to produce success and pursue them, eventually you'll start seeing parts of your overall plan coming together. For example in regards to finding a better job, get your resumé up to date and research what might be immediate viable options for employment.

If you're like me you might be prone to getting distracted by how many pieces there are and not know where to start or convince yourself it's all insurmountable, but each chunk you deal with gets you a little bit closer. I know this is a lot easier said than done, but if it's what you want isn't it worth it?


I used to be told baseless things like “God has a plan for you!” and my aunt claimed that God was “still writing your (my) love story!” but I don’t buy into that stuff. I’ve gained more following “Mark’s plan” than anything else even if that plan gets curveballs.


I hate those platitudes. People say those things because they think they'll be comforting even when they're just useless wastes of breath that often do more harm than good. I'm sure she means well but can't conceive of how it feels insulting to hear.



Marknis
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12 Mar 2021, 10:11 pm

To be fair, I do wish for an afterlife. I want to talk to my uncle who passed away from cancer almost 9 years ago now again. I sometimes see him in my dreams but my mind doesn’t talk to him. I wish it would. He accepted Darwin’s theory of evolution (I say this because there are other theories of evolution such as Lamarckian evolution but that one lacks evidence while Darwinian evolution has evidence.) but he still believed in a god of sorts. He also wasn’t blind when it came to politics and was an example that not everyone who lives in the country is backwards (He was a farmer).



r00tb33r
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12 Mar 2021, 10:24 pm

Marknis wrote:
I sometimes see him in my dreams but my mind doesn’t talk to him. I wish it would.

You mean you meet him in a dream but he's always silent?

I have someone in my dreams who had completely stopped speaking for many years now. A surprising amount of activity can happen without being verbal.



Mona Pereth
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12 Mar 2021, 10:47 pm

Marknis wrote:
I am currently short on time but what if I am successful at the speed dating event but still live with my mother and still have the same job?

If you're successful at the speed dating event, that would be great. But, if you aren't, you can best increase your likelihood of future dating success by focusing more on improving your life in other ways, for now.


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Marknis
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15 Mar 2021, 9:57 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I am currently short on time but what if I am successful at the speed dating event but still live with my mother and still have the same job?

If you're successful at the speed dating event, that would be great. But, if you aren't, you can best increase your likelihood of future dating success by focusing more on improving your life in other ways, for now.


I hope for success. I want love in my life first before putting focus on other things.



r00tb33r
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15 Mar 2021, 5:21 pm

Marknis wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I am currently short on time but what if I am successful at the speed dating event but still live with my mother and still have the same job?

If you're successful at the speed dating event, that would be great. But, if you aren't, you can best increase your likelihood of future dating success by focusing more on improving your life in other ways, for now.


I hope for success. I want love in my life first before putting focus on other things.

The older we get the less often it works in that order. :wall:



kraftiekortie
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15 Mar 2021, 6:30 pm

Often, I have found, the "other things" lead to love.



Marknis
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15 Mar 2021, 6:36 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Often, I have found, the "other things" lead to love.


Well, I have tried putting “other things” first but I would see relationships all around me so it made me wonder why I wasn’t “allowed” to pursue relationships first.



kraftiekortie
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15 Mar 2021, 6:38 pm

The "other things" lead to longer-lasting relationships.



Marknis
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15 Mar 2021, 6:39 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The "other things" lead to longer-lasting relationships.


But what if I wake up and I am 40 or older and my nieces and nephews are having kids of their own just like my younger cousins?



kraftiekortie
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15 Mar 2021, 6:43 pm

I don't have any kids. I should be a grandpa by now.



Marknis
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15 Mar 2021, 8:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't have any kids. I should be a grandpa by now.


By choice or things just did not go that way for you?

I actually thought I was going to get married in my 20’s when I was 17 and having all sorts of unintentional fantasies about where my life would go.



IsabellaLinton
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15 Mar 2021, 8:53 pm

I met my boyfriend just 15 months ago, Marknis.

My daughter is almost your age.

I understand wanting a relationship, but of course you can meet someone when you are over 32.


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