auntblabby
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05 Mar 2022, 5:35 am
Pepe wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
rather than advice, she wants to be HEARD.
Perhaps, but do you have a problem with my asking?
no offence but i did not refer to your comment, i was just putting out there that she'd be happier if folks just read what she was saying and said reassuring things in general.
05 Mar 2022, 11:17 am
05 Mar 2022, 12:55 pm
05 Mar 2022, 4:00 pm
lvpin wrote:
I'm sorry you feel this way and I understand it. There are times where I also feel hopeless and it isn't a feeling I would wish on anyone. But I do think life is easier and feels more worth it when you create your own joy. I hope you feel better at some point
^ This
I genuinely came to this thread to write this, but you beat me to it.
auntblabby
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05 Mar 2022, 4:33 pm
05 Mar 2022, 4:42 pm
auntblabby wrote:
you have to have a certain critical mass of psychological "feed corn" to be able to make one's own joy, this consists of having experienced some kind of joy at key times in your life. absent this, making one's own joy just doesn't work.
It’s definitely a journey that has taken me years, and that is with medication and a lot of therapy to help. However I think learning more about how the brain works was key to me being able to make myself happy. Then it was trial and error of different techniques and activities. If OP or you has the time is really recommend reading sone psychology books that break down the science of depression etc. they completely changed how I view things and approach my brain. I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m talking down to either of u, just trying to be a positive voice
.
05 Mar 2022, 8:16 pm
auntblabby
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05 Mar 2022, 10:12 pm
lvpin wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
you have to have a certain critical mass of psychological "feed corn" to be able to make one's own joy, this consists of having experienced some kind of joy at key times in your life. absent this, making one's own joy just doesn't work.
It’s definitely a journey that has taken me years, and that is with medication and a lot of therapy to help. However I think learning more about how the brain works was key to me being able to make myself happy. Then it was trial and error of different techniques and activities. If OP or you has the time is really recommend reading sone psychology books that break down the science of depression etc. they completely changed how I view things and approach my brain. I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m talking down to either of u, just trying to be a positive voice
.
of course you are a positive voice 
i read a book a long time ago about how to cure depression sans pharma, and one of the first things i gleaned from it is how if you force yourself to smile at yourself at the mirror, eventually it becomes more real. and when you smile you can't help but have a lighter mood no matter what. it works both directions- happy->smile, and smile->happy. also, the human mind can only entertain or hold in working memory, one discrete [whole] thought, and if you are unhappy, just like if you stub your toe and then a bee stings you you forget all about the stubbed toe, you just displace that unhappy thought with another thought, the more outlandish the better. then your awareness of that moment is an outlandish thought and not an unhappy thought, such as "i really love roast beef ice cream!" sounds strange but it works. 
but i still needed some happy psych feedcorn to work off of in crafting that replacement thought.
05 Mar 2022, 10:42 pm
Sweetleaf wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
^I don't necessarily disagree with the advice in this thread, I'm just not sure if that's what she needs now. Especially with a winky face. We may as well say, "Try suffering less 
"
But, lostonearth35 can speak for herself.
"But, lostonearth35 can speak for herself.
well they need some input to know they aren't alone, not to agree with their ideas of killing themself. Suffering is real but suicide is usually not the answer.
Agreed.
05 Mar 2022, 10:46 pm
lvpin wrote:
I'm sorry you feel this way and I understand it. There are times where I also feel hopeless and it isn't a feeling I would wish on anyone. But I do think life is easier and feels more worth it when you create your own joy. I hope you feel better at some point
If you look at my signature, you will see that I personally find "laughter to be the best medicine".
I've gotten through some very dark times as a result.
auntblabby
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05 Mar 2022, 10:47 pm
05 Mar 2022, 10:52 pm
And So It Goes wrote:
lvpin wrote:
I'm sorry you feel this way and I understand it. There are times where I also feel hopeless and it isn't a feeling I would wish on anyone. But I do think life is easier and feels more worth it when you create your own joy. I hope you feel better at some point
^ This
I genuinely came to this thread to write this, but you beat me to it.
We have a "Hat trick".
Not everyone can achieve this easily, however.
It wasn't easy for me either.
"Baby steps" perhaps?
Also, music can help to change a person's mood.
Something to think about.
05 Mar 2022, 10:56 pm
05 Mar 2022, 10:59 pm
lvpin wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
you have to have a certain critical mass of psychological "feed corn" to be able to make one's own joy, this consists of having experienced some kind of joy at key times in your life. absent this, making one's own joy just doesn't work.
It’s definitely a journey that has taken me years, and that is with medication and a lot of therapy to help. However I think learning more about how the brain works was key to me being able to make myself happy. Then it was trial and error of different techniques and activities. If OP or you has the time is really recommend reading sone psychology books that break down the science of depression etc. they completely changed how I view things and approach my brain. I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m talking down to either of u, just trying to be a positive voice
.It is good to see another "psychology nerd" in the house.
auntblabby
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05 Mar 2022, 11:00 pm
06 Mar 2022, 1:07 am
Sweetleaf wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
^I don't necessarily disagree with the advice in this thread, I'm just not sure if that's what she needs now. Especially with a winky face. We may as well say, "Try suffering less "
But, lostonearth35 can speak for herself.
"But, lostonearth35 can speak for herself.
well they need some input to know they aren't alone, not to agree with their ideas of killing themself. Suffering is real but suicide is usually not the answer.
I'm didn't say agree with her ideas of suicide. I'm saying sometimes advice feels like someone is telling us we're wrong, when we just need understanding. She starts many threads about her worthlessness and suicidal feelings, and seems to need someone in her life who can just give sympathy. That's all I meant.
