Jesus is coming, and boy is he pissed

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When jesus returns, who will he smite first?

The catholics	8%	[ 3 ]
The evangelical christians	8%	[ 3 ]
The scientologists	14%	[ 5 ]
the buddhists	0%	[ 0 ]
The atheists	0%	[ 0 ]
The muslims	8%	[ 3 ]
The jews	6%	[ 2 ]
The flying spaghetti monster followers	0%	[ 0 ]
Jesus is all happy, he won't smite anyone	8%	[ 3 ]
Jesus is dead, he ain't coming back	28%	[ 10 ]
The wiseass who started this thread	8%	[ 3 ]
What's a Jesus?	11%	[ 4 ]

Total votes : 36

Slink
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24 Aug 2007, 7:46 am

Pug wrote:

Slink wrote:

Hey Pug, what's happening. Hey Pug, you know what would be great? Um since you're down here it would be really great if you could just sorta take care of the Muslim problem we've been having down here. Oh and um I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow... yeah... so if you could be here around 9:00 that would be great. I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, kay? We um lost some people this week and uh we need to sort of play catch-up, thanks.

Oh and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So you know if you want to go ahead and uh wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

I'm sorry, I don't see what you're trying to say.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/

nvm

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Kaleido
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24 Aug 2007, 7:49 am

Jesus is going to be delayed.

He is coming to tea with me first.

The_Chosen_One
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24 Aug 2007, 8:29 am

Only if you can get him out of the pub and away from those piss-pot disciples first.

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Pagans are people too, not just victims of a religious cleansing program. Universal harmony for all!!

Karma decides what must happen, and that includes everyone.

Pug
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24 Aug 2007, 8:57 am

Slink wrote:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/

nvm

I was referring to Johnny English :wink:

'He has a tattoo on his bottom that says: Jesus Is Coming, Look Busy!'

Ragtime
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24 Aug 2007, 10:08 am

The_Chosen_One wrote:

Raggy: AA is correct there; they are preaching hatred toward 'sinners' and 'unbelievers' by saying these people (the majority of us) are hell bound and using back-handed threats of 'if only he/she would see the light' or he's damned because he hasn't accepted Jesus.'

It's a search and rescue effort of the greatest magnitude. Are you really so blind that you can't see that?

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Last edited by Ragtime on 24 Aug 2007, 10:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ragtime
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24 Aug 2007, 10:12 am

The_Chosen_One wrote:

Besides, he isn't coming, he's just breathing heavily.....

^^^ And while you're on the subject of accusing people of hate, why do you have to make lude sexual jokes about my and my fellow Christians' Saviour?

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The_Chosen_One
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24 Aug 2007, 10:44 am

What? Can't take a joke? You yourself said that Christ was meant to be 'a very funny man', and to me (as well as the others) the whole thing needs to have some humour injected. Gees, you can't expect us to take the whole thing seriously if you keep up the attitude that 'god shouldn't be mocked' and so-and-so forth. Remember, your lord also said, he who is without sin.... Well, I see no problem in having a harmless dig at it all, and I'm sure this Christ of yours wouldn't either. How about giving the pulpit a rest and having some fun for a change. And besides, I've heard you've been getting stuck into other groups like gays without bothering about their feelings.....

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Pagans are people too, not just victims of a religious cleansing program. Universal harmony for all!!

Karma decides what must happen, and that includes everyone.

michel
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24 Aug 2007, 10:51 am

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:

I think Jesus might smite the evangelicals because He taught love and all the evangelicals are doing is preaching hate, which is contradictory to His teachings.

Amen to that! Has anyone ben watching CNN's "God's Warriors"? Pretty heavy stuff. Those Megachurches are SCARY. I respect and encourage anyone's beliefs along as they're inclusive of all people, and not excluding anyone that doesn't act and look like them.

richardbenson
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24 Aug 2007, 4:05 pm

jesus is all about love. if anyone was gonna do the killing it would be his father

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Anubis
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24 Aug 2007, 8:40 pm

This just in:

GOD HATES FURRIES!! !!

YIFF IN HELL FURFAGS!! !!

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Quatermass
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24 Aug 2007, 9:05 pm

Anubis wrote:

This just in:

GOD HATES FURRIES!! !!

YIFF IN HELL FURFAGS!! !!

Now, if THAT weren't a declaration of war, then I don't know what is. :roll:

Anubis, if OWA sees that, well, do you know what silver fulminate is?

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Flagg
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24 Aug 2007, 9:06 pm

Quatermass wrote:

Anubis wrote:

This just in:

GOD HATES FURRIES!! !!

YIFF IN HELL FURFAGS!! !!

Now, if THAT weren't a declaration of war, then I don't know what is. :roll:

Anubis, if OWA sees that, well, do you know what silver fulminate is?

I hope he has some C4 stored somewhere nearby.

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Quatermass
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24 Aug 2007, 9:08 pm

Here's a tip: NEVER make silver fulminate. It has been known to detonate just from the weight of its own crystals. An explosive that ornery shouldn't exist. Even a good sneeze would set it off, I'd say.

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The_Chosen_One
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24 Aug 2007, 9:16 pm

Fulminate of mercury is meant to be pretty lethal as well.

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Pagans are people too, not just victims of a religious cleansing program. Universal harmony for all!!

Karma decides what must happen, and that includes everyone.

Anubis
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24 Aug 2007, 9:20 pm

Flagg wrote:

Quatermass wrote:

Anubis wrote:

This just in:

GOD HATES FURRIES!! !!

YIFF IN HELL FURFAGS!! !!

Now, if THAT weren't a declaration of war, then I don't know what is. :roll:

Anubis, if OWA sees that, well, do you know what silver fulminate is?

I hope he has some C4 stored somewhere nearby.

All your base are belong to us.

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AnonymousAnonymous
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24 Aug 2007, 9:24 pm

michel wrote:

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:

I think Jesus might smite the evangelicals because He taught love and all the evangelicals are doing is preaching hate, which is contradictory to His teachings.

Being Catholic myself, with the goings-on in the Catholic Church, more people like me are being slowly disillusioned with how it executes the teachings of Jesus.
For example, most churches in my area are very close-knit, xenophobic, paranoid churches who very much preach hate, saying that most denominations of the Catholic faith believe in Jesus so that way He won't get down their throats.
{Good thing I go to a church of love, friendship, and xenophilia}
Does that sound contradictory?

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