Do you want kids of your own?

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I have mixed feelings about having children. That would mean the end of any freedom I've enjoyed up to that point, kind of like wearing one of those ankle bracelets the police use to track people under house arrest. I couldn't decide on whether to take a trip to the mailbox much less to a foriegn country without consideration for how it would affect my kids.

Even getting married is a big "if" as continuously being around anyone rattles my nerves. There's also the genetic issue, the possibility of me passing my AS/HFA to offspring and if my husband also has AS, the child might have a lower-functioning form of autism.

But at the same time, the egotistical part of me thinks it would be great to have a child who shares my personal characteristics. Giving a child the love and attention I didn't get when I was little would be like mending a part of myself. However, I know the choice to reproduce has to be all about the child, not about fulfilling my needs.

I always wanted children. I have two little boys, and I can't imagien not having had them. Frankie is 7 and has AS. Alex is 4 and is NT.

I cherish them. Frankie is JUST like me as a child. It's nice to try to be able to do things in a better way for him than they were for me. I'm not trying to make him "normal", as they did to kids when I was younger. I embrace him the way he is, and simply try to help him function in society, without losing what makes him him.

Alex is the sweetest little thing. Ya know, I think some AS type traits can be picked up when I child is rasied by one or more person's with AS. They both adore each other. I'm glad that they will always have each other.

As far as AS skipping a generation, I've never heard that before. It certainly hasn't in my family. It's in at least 3 sucessive generations. I can't go back any further than that because I just didn't know my grandparents' generation very well.
Donna

I used to didn't want kids,but now,for some strange reason,I do.Here's how I've planned it in my head:

I want my first child to be a boy.I'll name him Damon Willl.
Then I want my second child to be a girl a year younger than Damon.I want her name to be Leelah Ann.
Then I want my 3rd child to be another girl,and I want her name to be Aurora Dawn.
Then I want my 4th child to be a boy,and I want his name to be Gabriel Jason.

That's how I want it to be.But if I have a 5th child,if it's a boy I'll name him Sirus John,and if it's a girl,I'll name her Aleera Joan.

My first child is Daemon Xavier he's 10
my second is Hunter Gabriel he's 7
My daughter is Serena Paige, 5/yo
and finally I have my litle guy Ethan Christopher he's 19 months now!

Being a parent is HARD!! !!

It's also the best part of my life! I've learned so much about myself that I don't think I would have discovered without them. Plus it's great having my own terror squad to strike fear into the hearts of my relatives..err...I mean enemies!! MUWAHAHAHAA!! !! !!

I would fear having a normal, shallow, very NT child (not saying the majority of NTs are shallow. This is just what I would fear). I have such an intrinsic frustration and sometimes even rage to those I deemed wholly unoriginal. I don't think it would be fair to the child for that sort of anger to be directed towards him/her while growing up.

Plus, kids are constantly there and needing. I, myself, need too much time alone. Again, not fair to the kid.

I'd like to get married sometime, hopefully by the end of the decade (yeah right ), and have kids, though I wouldn't rush to have kids.

Once I am financially capable, I would love to have kids. I would like to train a kid from the ground up to be a Math genius, only if he or she really wanted to though. That would be neat I think.

Despite being a guy, I've always wanted to have children.

I have 5 kids and am expecting #6.

It isn't easy to have a lot of kids when you're autistic. One or two is enough..I think...but I love them all.

If I could do it over again, I wouldn't have married an extravert. I have one child who is very extraverted and he has been the most challenging to raise. He has a lot of social needs and our minds just don't connect well. Two of the kids from an NT (but very introverted) father are probably NT but not hard to deal with. I have to say that I am closest to the ones who are the most aspie...not that I play favorites, but communication is easier and much more natural with them.

If I was married I would have children. but I am too young and unmarried. But when I am older, I shall try and get married after University.

I have three of the little buggers. Raising kids is very hard work, emotionally, financially and often physically draining. A little person/people who depend on you totally, insist on invading your personal space and demanding attention when you could really do without it, nagging for stuff, getting into fights, arguing, kicking off in public, destroying your home... It can get a bit wearing I must admit. Couple this with the fact that because our eldest is prone to fits of temper and being extremely stubborn and rigid (yep - he has AS), our daughter is incredibly clingy, hyper and restless, and the toddler will only go to sleep if I settle him, we can hardly ever entice anyone to babysit - so we hardly get chance to do our own thing together, I think its fair to say that my own experience of fatherhood has changed my life quite a bit. I love my kids dearly, and wouldn't wish them away, but its a major commitment and at times it would be nice to take a holiday from it. About six months should do it...

Dunc

I feel the same way about raising kids. I worry myself I will get stuck with a spoiled NT child. That's a big reason why I never wanted kids. Like I said earlier, if my spouse really wanted kids and we can work out parenting styles, adoption would be a possibility. With adoption, I feel one has more control in what type of child they choose.

That's the right attitude I wish more people had.

I agree with that sentiment. These days, it seems parents always brag on how their kids are in this activity, that activity, and so forth. I wonder what they'd do if they didn't have their kids to live through. They want something to brag about so instead of doing something worthwhile themselves, the push their kids into this activity, that activity, and so on, running them ragged.

I admit I do not want children for more than one reason. One is I like the freedom to do what I want to do. If I just want to go somewhere for the day, I can just do it without having to worry about babysitters or anything of that nature. If I find out something is going on out of town at the last minute I want to do, I can just hop in the car and go.

Also I don't like the world children have to live in today. Some people tell me they have to have their kids in all these activities so they can be successful and stay off drugs. I wouldn't have wanted to be scheduled to death like they are now. I always preferred finding my own things to do, pursuing my own interests as opposed to what someone else picked for me. If being micromanaged to death is the only way to make them successful, that's not a childhood I could live through nor would I want to inflict on someone else.

I want kids just so that i can craft a person from ground up. I plan to manipulate the s**t out of him, and tailor his environment into the perfect environment. And make the perfect happy person. That is my goal. Make a happy person.

Feel like playing G*d there, do ya, nomaken?

I used to be certain that I wanted kids, now I'm a little uncertain.