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Meeting girls at the beach.

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hmk66
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22 May 2025, 4:26 pm

Canadian Freedom Lover wrote:
hmk66 wrote:
I was a teenager, I was always interested in girls and later on in young women. But I never approach anyone of them. Then a group of girls approached me. I didn't know how to handle this. It went wrong. After that I avoid them at all costs (I was bullied since then), until it's time go home. I felt safe, because I won't see them ever back again.


How did your interaction with the girls on the beach go wrong?

Well, as a teenager, I didn't know much about social interaction. Not as much as I do now. I was definitely different (now the difference between NT people and me is way smaller).

It is often the same sequence. Girls noticed me. They found me possibly weird, but they told me that I would be very handsome. It was often about attraction. Why didn't they talk to me in a normal way, like they talk with their friends? When I noticed that it deteriorated into bullying, I broke any contact with them. When I saw them standing somewhere on a path (between caravans and cars and the like) I took a different path, so they could not see me.

I have never learned how to handle this. Nobody wanted to teach me. There was no professional help. I was very good at school subjects, especially until I was 15 years old. A lot of attention from girls. By the way, my father told me, that I should avoid girls and women. They would be manipulating me.



cyberdora
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22 May 2025, 9:34 pm

hmk66 wrote:
I have never learned how to handle this. Nobody wanted to teach me. There was no professional help. I was very good at school subjects, especially until I was 15 years old. A lot of attention from girls. By the way, my father told me, that I should avoid girls and women. They would be manipulating me.


Alas there was/is nobody to teach young men these things. Fathers expect men to learn themselves. Not sure how your dad expects you to learn about dating if you avoid girls/women?



hmk66
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22 May 2025, 10:55 pm

cyberdora wrote:
hmk66 wrote:
I have never learned how to handle this. Nobody wanted to teach me. There was no professional help. I was very good at school subjects, especially until I was 15 years old. A lot of attention from girls. By the way, my father told me, that I should avoid girls and women. They would be manipulating me.


Alas there was/is nobody to teach young men these things. Fathers expect men to learn themselves. Not sure how your dad expects you to learn about dating if you avoid girls/women?

Yes. After attention of many girls (were they flirting or bullying me?) I came home, and told him: "Many girls seems to like me." Father: "O, they are fooling you. Ignore them."

An interesting thing was the following: Years later I sat in a train. A woman went sitting near me. I thought: "Hm... I know her. She was one of the bullies/flirters." If a former bully come to me and apologize (and some of them did), I will forgive and no longer consider him/her as a bully. She: "Do you remember me?" I: "Yes, I do." She: "I was one of the bullies, but I wasn't really bullying you. I was attracted to you. You are very handsome, you see." I was no longer angry with her, but I didn't know what do do with it. There are also male bullies that approached me in a friendly way. I: "Well, I saw you kissing with someone else." She: "Yes, because you didn't want me."



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 May 2025, 4:15 am

hmk66 wrote:
cyberdora wrote:
hmk66 wrote:
I have never learned how to handle this. Nobody wanted to teach me. There was no professional help. I was very good at school subjects, especially until I was 15 years old. A lot of attention from girls. By the way, my father told me, that I should avoid girls and women. They would be manipulating me.


Alas there was/is nobody to teach young men these things. Fathers expect men to learn themselves. Not sure how your dad expects you to learn about dating if you avoid girls/women?

Yes. After attention of many girls (were they flirting or bullying me?) I came home, and told him: "Many girls seems to like me." Father: "O, they are fooling you. Ignore them."

An interesting thing was the following: Years later I sat in a train. A woman went sitting near me. I thought: "Hm... I know her. She was one of the bullies/flirters." If a former bully come to me and apologize (and some of them did), I will forgive and no longer consider him/her as a bully. She: "Do you remember me?" I: "Yes, I do." She: "I was one of the bullies, but I wasn't really bullying you. I was attracted to you. You are very handsome, you see." I was no longer angry with her, but I didn't know what do do with it. There are also male bullies that approached me in a friendly way. I: "Well, I saw you kissing with someone else." She: "Yes, because you didn't want me."


Not much releated, but back in highschool I overheard my close friend guy telling a girl classmate (who was brilliant and popular, A+ grades in everything always) literally something like this: "<my name> is not gay! I know him! He likes girl", then both got startled by me since I was standing just right behind them, and he was like "Tell her you are not gay!"; I was like "I am not gay" :lol: - she didn't sound very convinced; and her reasoning why "You never ogle at girls"; I was like "if I don't ogle at girls then that means I am gay? O.o"

I have absolutely no idea what made them open this conversation, but I assume if she (a popular and well loved girl) thought I am gay then some of her female friends definitely thought the same. She was no bully tho, she was nice - I never had female bullies for the record.