"please don't hurt me"

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Today it looked like tattle tale tom was going to go through the employee hallway but he saw me in there and decided to go around. (Maybe I misinterpreted the situation)

He didn't interact with me today except over the walkie talkie. Lot attendants are like that

Then he passed by me on the way from self checkout to the locker room

And I saw him enter and exit the litterbox. His bowel movement even faster than my urination.

I feel kind of relieved he knows I am afraid of him. Because I have been afraid of him ever since he started trying to get me made redundant by micromanaging me. He is really socially adept and great at conversations. All that time I was trying to act like I was not scared but "masking" takes too much energy

When he gets too close to me I feel uncomfortable but there is nothing to tattle about because he has never physically touched, much less injured, me. And he never told me he would spank me either. Involuntary natural subconscious

But there's nothing for him to tattle on me about either. When I said "please don't hurt me", he didn't seem surprised. I was trembling and my voice was cracking.

i still think that after the "drywall incident" (may 2022), home depot should've made tattletale tom redundant.

but i do not have the moral "right" or legal "right" to make tattletale tom, or anyone else, redundant. just like tattletale tom does not have a moral "right" or legal "right" to make me redundant, either. (if he did, he would've done so over four years ago.)

i feel so afraid that tattletale tom will physically injure me (for example, corporal punishment, martial arts, playfighting, mutilation). on the other hand, home depot hires convicted felons. it is also true that, only a couple times in my four and a half years @ home depot, have i been alone with someone, and it was always a supervisor or manager, and the window was still open. so whatever. i've never been alone with a regular associate. it is also correct that day laborers and customers could have any number of felony convictions and they still have a moral "right" to go to home depot. so whatever.

constantly outnumbered overpowered outsmarted

it's good the parking lot is so large. it would be a nightmare if i worked @ mcdonalds and lazy boy steve was six feet away on the phone, and tattletale tom was six feet away micromanaging and barking @ me. and if we worked the same 40 hours a week.

tattletale tom works mornings and i work middays. only on SuTuW do we both work. MTh, i don't work and FSa he doesn't work. it's been like that for a couple of years.

oh well, @ this rate, pretty soon, i won't even have a job to complain about. (rolls eyes)

Why would Tom hurt you?

In most contexts people aren't prone to physically injure others. Even violent criminals don't tend to injure most of the people they interact with. People who want to get you fired don't usually want to give you ammunition to try to get them fired.

You seem to consistently express a very conspiratorial and transactional understanding how people behave and it doesn't do your mental health any good. Not everyone is out to get everyone else, most people don't seek out physical confrontations, not every workplace friendship involves people sleeping with each other, same goes for people who ingratiate themselves to a hierarchy.

Additionally, you project your low self-worth on to how other people must think of you, even if they have no reason to dislike you as much as you dislike you. As much as I'm pretty critical of some of your posts, all-in-all you come off as a reasonably likeable guy. Based on posts I've seen, I'm not the only one who has a relatively positive view of you. Extrapolating from that, I find it hard to believe that most folks you encounter see you through as harsh of lens as you view yourself through.

funeral empire

"Why would Tom hurt you?"

between october 2020 an may 2022, tattletale tom had the nerve to loudly complain a lot about how i wasn't pulling my weight and he was doing all the heavy lifting. i was afraid to make any action or statement in response b/c of "office politics". tattletale tom was (is) "in" with plenty of precious lil "people", some of whom have termination authority. (rolls eyes). (favortism, nepotism). tattletale tom 180# male. i am just a 112# weakling. a couple times, tattletale tom had the nerve to bark @ me, out of control. home depot hires convicted felons ("second chance employer") and i do not have the moral right or legal right to know which ones they are. tattletale tom totally got away with barking @ me, and i STILL didn't say anything about it, because i was afraid that if i did, the boss would make me redundant, b/c "everyone has subconscious biases" and "at will employer" and tattletale tom is/was having sex with the boss. thus far, tattletale tom has not physically touched, much less injured me, nor has he told me that he wants to. however, one time, he was throwing down drywall from the car to the cart. (he didn't throw them "at" me, nor did the drywall strike me, but he was throwing them down pretty hard, and, even though i tried to catch them, i was too darn slow and failed.).

"In most contexts people aren't prone to physically injure others."
Granted. However, what is the definition of "most", 51%? "Most" does not mean "all". Sometimes some precious lil "people" do things that they are not "prone to" doing, per se. (semantics and pragmatics)

"Even violent criminals don't tend to injure most of the people they interact with."
granted

"People who want to get you fired don't usually want to give you ammunition to try to get them fired."
Granted. However, that is a massive overgeneralization. not all "people who want to get you fired" are the same. they are all different. "don't usually" does not mean "never".

"You seem to consistently express a very conspiratorial and transactional understanding how people behave and it doesn't do your mental health any good. Not everyone is out to get everyone else, most people don't seek out physical confrontations, not every workplace friendship involves people sleeping with each other, same goes for people who ingratiate themselves to a hierarchy."

granted, you are a lot more worldly and functional and insightful than me. however, "not everyone is out to get everyone else". yes, but sometimes, some precious lil "people" are out to get some other precious lil "people". "most people don't seek out physical confrontations". "most people" does not mean "all people". that's like saying "most people" are right handed. plenty of people are left handed and there is nothing wrong with that.

"Extrapolating from that, I find it hard to believe that most folks you encounter see you through as harsh of lens as you view yourself through." granted, i am not telepathic. i do not know how to read someone else's mind. i do not even know how to read nonverbal communication. however, you could not possibly read the minds of someone that you have never even interacted with.

One can rely on generalizations to an extent, which you already do. It's just that many of your generalizations seem to assume like you're in a prison or mental health facility, rather than a workplace. If you don't need to be telepathic to make negative generalizations and assumptions, why would one need to be telepathic to make neutral or positive assumptions?

You can respond with wordplay deflections for why your anxieties might hypothetically be valid, but being able to create a rational sounding reason isn't the same as having a realistic reason.

Yes, hypothetically anyone could be a serial killer who hasn't been caught yet, just waiting for an excuse to beat the tar out of you, but such people represent maybe a percent or less of the population. The vast majority of the population are much too inhibited to just whoop on you for no reason.

I don't want to be overly harsh, since it's clear that your mental state isn't so great, but part of that is self-induced and you deserve better than to live in fear of everyone and everything.

Hey man, I lurk on your threads and your vents resonate with me. It sounds like you are unable to quit which I am in that same boat too.

If you have the time and energy, maybe you can develop your skills while being laid off or on vacation. At least learning any coding language or 3D software like CAD.

You won't get out right away for sure but at least you will gain knowledge and eventually in the future transfer those skills for your future job or maybe start a side online business. I have been laid off for 3 weeks and I spent most of my time 3D modeling random objects. I wish you well.

Arctic vixen

Working on job skills could be a good thing, if it financially pays off. Whether or not it pays off, no way to know until you get there.

Computer aided drafting. In Structural engineering 120 and 103, in groups, used solid works to model a building and water tower. In Cosmos, simulated under earthquake load 2.5 Kobe.

Computer programming language: got a "C-" in mechanical engineering 9: C++. When I was 19. Right now 42. Scared of computers. Also took Matlab.

I am so bad at computers, but maybe that is a good reason to work on computers.

When home Depot has the nerve to make my worthless corpse redundant I will have the time. But maybe I will be homeless because I won't be able to afford the rent. If I end up homeless, no computer access. Just library computer.

Home depot hires convicted felons

I don't have a moral right or legal right to know which servant got convicted of which felony

However it appears to me that a disproportionate amount of servants, short tempers and easily out of control. (Things not always the way they appear)

Order Fulfillment Associate Anthony RH, has been telling other servants he knows Muay Thai every time he is not happy, which is pretty often

Other servants said they have gotten sent to prison. They didn't tell me. They told someone else. I overheard but I didn't react because I didn't want to make bad or wrong actions or statements.

Constantly walking on eggshells

Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop

(Puke!)

And besides the customers' and day laborers' etiquette, leaves much to be desired. Some of those idiots act more like wild animals than humans and they get away with it because "customer always right"

Some of the employees that act like wild animals, are "in" with the boss. And that's how and why they get away with bad behavior. Meanwhile i get micromanaged to death. It has nothing to do with "discrimination". (Nepotism/favoritism)(Double standards).

Tattle tale tom

Today head cashier MM called a lot attendant on the walkie talkie and I answered and came. After "weight testing" the lumber, the Lumber Supervisor and I were going to load it and then tattle tale tom came and told the supervisor he would do it. I could barely lift the lumber high enough

Then when I was pushing carts past him, MM called again and Tattle tale tom said "I got it" before I reached the walkie talkie so I didn't answer the walkie talkie.

Later saw him washing his paws in the litterbox and I did too. Which I usually don't do but I am still paranoid he will have the nerve to tattle on me

tattletale tom makes a lot of assumptions and "expectations".

i am not particularly good @ anything. in particular, i am especially bad @: emotional resilience, social interaction, communication, lifting rocks. nobody is perfect. there is no such thing as "perfection" per se, just "perfect" to someone's standards. furthermore, i am clumsy and physically weak. rapidly getting much physically weaker. sooner or later, i will do something, unintentionally, because i am physically weak and clumsy. and tattletale tom will react in a way that shows that he did "bring his whole self to work". sooner or later, i will drop some merchandise. some merchandise is heavy, and i have been rapidly getting much physically weaker, and some customers have the nerve to demand that i lift the merchandise over my head. (the job description says "lift fifty pounds". but "lift" sounds like "deadlift" to me, not "overhead press." and i had no idea how hard it was to do that, b/c i've never done it before. plenty of customers made me load lumber, but they drove trucks, not vans.) for example, a couple weeks ago, i (unintentionally) struck him with a lumber cart. "(my first name)! bro!" he had the nerve to growl @ me. he acted like he wanted to lock me in the garbage compactor. he's 180# an i am 110#. he could physically lift me, without difficulty. i could not physically move him, not even with a wheelbarrow or anything like that.

also, i find it hard to imagine that someone could change so much, so rapidly. and i could not imagine who or what made him change that much. but i never tattled on him for micromanaging me around the parking lot.

besides, the vast majority of McJobs (restaurant retail sales), involve coworkers standing really close together, crowded behind the counter. if tattletale tom and i were working @ the same cash register or @ mcdonalds or whatever, we might be six feet away, for forty hours a week; and lazy boy steve could've been six feet away in the other direction, on the phone.

neither Former Front End Supervisor RA nor anyone else ever told me what Tattletale tom's punishment was for the "drywall incident". since then, he hasn't raised his voice to me, but that doesn't mean he won't. besides, RA doesn't even work in (that particular) home depot anymore. and it was over six months ago, so whatever disciplinary action he got, had already fallen off a long time ago. i've never felt "comfortable" or "safe" around tattletale tom. he doesn't "pick your battles", consider other perspectives, or give the benefit of a doubt. (on the other hand, the vast majority of precious lil "people" don't, either). he acted like he was the boss and he isn't. there is nothing preventing him from doing it again.

i feel like RA should've made tattletale tom redundant for the "drywall incident". but she didn't. and i do not have a moral right or legal "right" to do anything about it. outnumbered overpowered outsmarted, as usual.