Being Overly secretive and private

Post Reply New Topic

I'm like that around my family. I'm the quiet one in my family.

Got to say, It is sad to feel better about a humans death ..But I had a ex con , that moved back in with his 84 yr old step mother . That lived two doors away from me. And his grandmother told me , after she had befriended me for years
That , She did not care what her relations did as long as they made money, Just prior to his moving in there. And he was worshipped by the lesser obvious criminal element in the neighbourhood. And he figured it was his right , to go through and break into his Step mothers neighbours houses, For 5 years he would do this with his friends . He befriended all the "local" , liqour store hanger outters and freeway offramp ,panhandlers . Stalked my home and myself for over 5 years . Was regularily calling the police . Most Fridays and sometimes wednesday nights. Became a very light sleeper, and already had PTSD . Much vandalism and theft . Local PD wanted only violent crime calls . This was only the iceberg of the story ,was in court with them 5 times . Finally got a different judge, After realizing previous one was msyoginistic about women representing themselves in court . So I can only the relief,someone else might feel.
the con , He passed after the 5 years from overloading his liver. And most of his gang dissolved,except a few die hards.
Now my back fence doesnt seem to get torn down by looters, claiming the local deer were doing it. They even had the police gaslighted about the deer. it was maddening to hear the top cop repeat the line, they had been giving the Police.
Might have believed it if I did not see them actually do it . At 3 am one night.And saw the side effects many many times after, I could not keep up with their tearing down the back fence. It was sad to hear cops support the crooks.Eventually the older stepmom moved away too.Gawd bless them.

We're in the wrong world.

Yeah I'm secretive
Well it's been more of a survival thing to be fair
I think that if if have had trustworthy people throughout my life then I wouldn't have had to keep so much about myself to myself

I can't criticize you for having done this. It's was arguably a very sensible thing to do. Now I tell myself that my personal peccadillos are of no interest to the government or other powerful entities, however with the right tools it could be possible for the government to maintain some sort of profile about literally everyone. Even if no human ever looks at your personal profile, it would always be there should they want to make a case against you for some reason. Also, if you went to all that trouble to get that stuff removed, the activity associated with those efforts might be seen as evidence that you have something to hide. Although probably more likely nowadays than when you did it.

I suspect anybody on the spectrum has done stuff that they would prefer to keep quiet simply because they didn't instinctively know not to do what they did at the time, and when they learn later, they are mortified by the thought of it becoming public.

^
I think that's just as true of the general population though. Skeletons in the cupboard and all that.

For example, you might have developed a crush and engaged in behavior that seemed OK at the time but you now understand would be considered stalking. Much more likely if you're on the spectrum. My opinion, of course.

Some antivirus security programs such as Norton as well as some credit monitoring sites like Experian &/or Credit Karma offer services to scan the web & remove your personal info from people search sites & some other types of sites. I hate the idea of paying extra to have my stuff deleted, especially since me & Cass have LOTs of debt. I have a common name & the only social media I ever used was MySpace & DarkStarlings & I deleted those accounts 15 years ago so Googling my name gives lots of results that do not lead to me. Stuff leading to me would mostly be addresses I lived at so I'm not concerned about a potential employer trying to look me up unless the employer thinks not using social media is suspicious. I find it fuuny that a bit of the people who complain about corporations & government spying tend to constantly post most everything about themselves on social media I don't think anyone posting in this thread is doing this.

Well I've heard of that but I doubt it correlates very well with ASD. We need to order an objective scholarly survey to settle the matter once and for all.

I did get intense obsessions with certain persons when I was a teenager and engaged in stalking-type behaviour (though harmless). I did know what I was doing but because I was so obsessed I just had these mental urges to follow them around the town if I saw them, or hang about outside their house. I'm not proud of it but I just couldn't contain myself back then. I knew what I was doing though, but I didn't really realise the seriousness of the trouble I could have got myself into.
I did nearly get into trouble actually. The people I were obsessed with had a baby and they felt uneasy having me hanging around outside their house, so they went to the police (they knew where I lived).
A police officer came to my house one day while I was at school, and my mum said that she had to let him look in my room to see if he could detect any signs of my behaviour being a threat, even though my mum explained to him that I was just a naive 14-year-old with a crush/obsession. When he realised that there was nothing in my room to suggest any potential threat, he let me off and told my mum to just keep me in more and that I'll grow out of it - which I did.

My room was full of music posters, teddy bears, drawings of The Simpsons, innocent videotapes like of Disney movies, bottles of bubble bath, lip gloss, and anything else you'd find in an innocent teenage girl's bedroom. He had to look at my diary though, but that was just me writing my feelings about what was happening at school and in my family, and I guess some things about the people I were obsessed with but nothing incriminating.

It was still a bit humiliating for my mum. Stupid AS. That's why I hate having it, because it made me do embarrassing things like that.

so Now , have been listening to A few older Nom Chomsky interveiws, the regime of our current Government . Wishes to maintain control of the working class in order to keep the money in the big Corporations . And keep the rest of the population under control . And reduce availability of higher education. To most all average US citizens . With intention to maintain the wealth gap from themselves and normal citizens . And by having all these lovely communication newer cell phones computer type devises in peoples homes and on their persons.And they control over news feeds you watch and everything ,you show interest in, Is not necessarily for using it for marketing . Was a handy ,most appealing side effect,of being able to monitor the population. For the good of the Corporate entities . This goes all the way up the chain to controlling social media,and what Info. They wish you to see... And stay ahead of any people trying to gather and improve the lot of the average person, In the USA. So yes , People have been in general taught not to trust .And finding secrecy to be safer. . . So this disables the population to make healthy changes to the way they have to live. And now, several/all
corporations are now entitled to the same constitutional rights to fictional entities( corporations) [ by law]

When I was 8 years old, I tried to socialize but that had a high price. I thought: "This is not going to work for a long time. I will try again later." So, I had to wait 20 years, until the bullying was over. On the school for pupils between 12 and 18 years old, bullying got worse, I was also stalked and beaten up. I got attention of a lot of girls, therefore I wrote a different topic "Am I Very Attractive?" It's still a question that bothers me. Bullied and then attractive to girls and young women? That's impossible. I didn't make friends and I didn't date anyone, although girls and women kept coming to me. My father was a bit overprotective and told me to avoid women.

Later on I thought: "That dating stuff is not ging to work. Women do not really like me. They are playing games. Woen are not intersted in me."

On certain areas I was extremely smart, but there was no-one I could share my interests and hobbies with. Oh, wel forget it. I am not good at making friends and approach a woman (although some women approach me). I wanted therapy about it, but that was refused. Real socializing is a no go. Most of the people are not ready to be socialized by me. So be it.

Anonymity (Kada)

There is no crime in anonymity,
There is no love lost between John and Jane,
We hold dearly to our privacy,
the alternative's insane...

Uncovering mysteries has become common,
but unveiling secrets is considered theft
'cause when we're butt-naked and the light's turned on,
they're all that we've got left

I'm rather secretive towards people and institutions I suspect of being linked to marketing. I don't want to be profiled or spammed.

I'm not really private about anything - except my AS diagnosis and flatulence. And privacy about those two topics isn't 100%, as I've just mentioned them just now lol. But in real life I don't talk about those two things.

I've been with my partner for 11 years and he's never heard me pass gas. I know maybe he heard me in my sleep or whatever but if I did he's never said and has most likely forgotten anyway.

But even though he wouldn't care if I did and he would forget, I still could never ever bring myself to do it in front of him. Just like I could never ever bring myself to admit to AS to anyone. It's not them, it's me.