Possibly a daft question

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10 Jun 2025, 1:01 pm

ShwaggyD wrote:

Depends on her 'unspoken' words towards you before, during, and after she said it. On the surface I would think she has some sort of feelings towards you and said that to see your verbal and/or nonverbal response.

If she had no feelings towards you I would assume she wouldn't have shared that with you.

We do have a very close and intimate friendship, but she has never before suggested having feelings of that kind. Not that I've noticed, anyway.

Aaron Hamill
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10 Jun 2025, 1:04 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ Yeah…

Isn’t she too old for you?

I'm of the opinion that age is usually just a number.

She is also WAY out of my league.

I'm no hunk, believe me.

Aaron Hamill
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10 Jun 2025, 1:07 pm

babybird wrote:

I don't think it's a daft question

Thank you.

Are you saying that it's not a no-brainer and that I should have questions about this?

Tamaya
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10 Jun 2025, 1:15 pm

No, it's not a daft question. You're entitled to ask a question like that.

Aaron Hamill
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10 Jun 2025, 1:20 pm

Tamaya wrote:

No, it's not a daft question. You're entitled to ask a question like that.

"Am I asking the obvious?"

That's what I meant, really.

DuckHairback
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10 Jun 2025, 1:27 pm

I don't think its a daft question. I think this is tricky territory.

If I didn't know anything about this person, I'd say objectively based on what you've told us that yes, she's giving you a lot of very blatant signals that she's interested in you romantically.

It's really hard to read a situation like this just based on the dialogue. This is where context and body language help out, if you can read those things. I know many of us ASD-types struggle with that.

The problem, as I see it, is the age difference, and the marriage suggestion. These confuse matters.

On the one hand, the age difference might explain the sideways way she's telling you this information. She's not asking you out directly, she's giving you indications that you'd be successful if you approached her. But to jump straight to marriage proposal, not a date, seems weird to me, like its more of a joke than a real thing.

On the other hand, if she feels the age difference is too great to overcome, then maybe you fall into a safe category for her. i.e. she feels you're someone she can flirt safely with because there's no chance of you getting the wrong idea because she's obviously too old for you.

tldr: I don't know.

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TwilightPrincess
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10 Jun 2025, 1:33 pm

Do you know if she’s ever dated men that were so much younger than she is? That could say something, too, not that it’s definitive either way.

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MatchboxVagabond
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10 Jun 2025, 2:23 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

Do you know if she’s ever dated men that were so much younger than she is? That could say something, too, not that it’s definitive either way.

Pretty much, age gap relationships can be tricky either way. And none of this ought to be taken too literally without more specificity from her or an actual proper discussion about it. I do think that unless there's something substantial here that I didn't see in the posts, that this is somewhat problematic in terms of boundaries.

The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Jun 2025, 2:27 pm

Anyway, social rules had been flipped lately and consistently.

It is the women who should make the first move nowadays.

So you have to just wait.

Kinda she did with her dream story - but it is very lame frankly, I would reject her just because she is doing a such stupid approach, she had to learn to be more direct.

babybird
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10 Jun 2025, 3:42 pm

Aaron Hamill wrote:

babybird wrote:

I don't think it's a daft question

Thank you.

Are you saying that it's not a no-brainer and that I should have questions about this?

No I'm not
It's important to you and that should be all that matters

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Aaron Hamill
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10 Jun 2025, 4:25 pm

DuckHairback wrote:

TwilightPrincess wrote:

Do you know if she’s ever dated men that were so much younger than she is? That could say something, too, not that it’s definitive either way.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Our friendship is very intimate. To the point that our age difference doesn't really mean anything to us. So keep that in mind.

I had always taken it for granted that she didn't look at me that way, as she had never suggested that overtly.

As I have said before, she also happens to be WAY out of my league.

I have never asked her outright, but I'm sure she's aware that I find her attractive.

Yes, she has gone out with younger men, but there was always mutual interest.

You are entitled to your opinion, Boo, but that is not how I saw it at all.

Thanks for your honesty, everyone.

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