chris1989 wrote:
I still get those thoughts I've spent a lot of time reading books and writing while other people were going out with friends for a party and a drink almost every weekend and stuff and I feel that reinforces the notion that doing that stuff in young adulthood (18 to 30s) is what people just do to enjoy life as though it's the "norm" and because I did little or much of that stuff, it makes it seem like I've "wasted the one life I have". It feels as though by comparison, I'm been a bore because I've got few mates, and spending time reading and writing.
I even started thinking recently when I started using weights to build up muscle that I wasted the 20s not going to gyms, running and stuff like people in their 20s are doing now. I went for a jog once in my teens and I remember my feet were killing me afterwards and I didn't do it again. I say I wasted time not going to a gym, but I actually don't find them interesting places to go to.
I wish I had spent more time reading books and playing video games in my young adulthood, rather than going out and drinking. But in my early 20's I was in denial about having PTSD...so I was more trying to just feel normal/numb feelings than actually super enjoying it. Trying to convince myself I just didn't care about anything. I tried to go to college but I dropped out because I couldn't take the PTSD hypervigilance anymore that I'd get when other classes changed at a different time and there would be noise in the hallway....so I couldn't pay attention because I was mentally preparing for someone bursting in with a gun and I couldn't take it anymore. Which of course made me want to spend more time getting drunk and high to not feel like that.
So, idk are you interested in partying because everyone else has so you should to? you just want to experience it? has it become a special interest? or are you trying to run away from your feelings?
If you just want to experience it well 30+ people still party, if you don't have friends if you have family members that party a bit more you could see if you could go with them to something. Or if its just you want to try shrooms or something find a friend/family member/acquaintance who's into that kind of thing and they can probably help you out with acquiring that.
But I just don't think you missed much by reading books instead, you can continue to read books and also seek out a more social party event to experience...it doesn't have to be one or the other.
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
03 Nov 2025, 2:33 am
* Here I am gladdened to see how asociality is more 'front and centre' bravely on this venue, maybe more so then within the broad and overstimulating span of Reddit -- thank you op for putting up this one
