Which group did/do you fall in to as a teen/young adult?

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I am not sure. I was a loner but not really a shut-in. I was badly behaved, always being sent to detention. Never went, just wandered off school grounds instead. Dissociative most of the time. Spent a lot of time tromping around in the forest. I did go to a regular Latin meet-up at the pub for a little while. Probably had most in common with the stoners, although I didn't drink or do drugs.

A couple of years after dropping out of school I went to uni and found to my great surprise that I'd somehow became a social animal

I guess I led a very boring life as a teenager, and I think it was all to do with getting a diagnosis too early in life. Being diagnosed as a child usually means you get monitored and watched more at school by a support worker or mentor, so you kinda just turn up for school each day, not wanting to be there really and not exactly interested in being in a learning environment, but you just turned up and behaved yourself rather than rebel, because any misbehaviour got reported back to your parents, simply because you were "special". So you sort of miss out on finding your people, as not many kids wanted to be seen hanging out with the "class ret*d" (not saying being on the spectrum is ret*d or anything, but it was what I was treated like because of having a support worker in the classroom with me). I hated it, I resented not the AS as such but the diagnosis.

So I was just the stereotypical shut-in really. Okay I sometimes went out with my cousin in the evenings when I was around 14-15, and we done stupid mischievous things because I wanted to engage in some sort of teenage rebellion without being watched by grown-ups all the time. But generally my weekends and school holidays were just mostly spent with family, and I relied on family for a social life.

I didn't really have any interests, just stupid useless obsessions with random men, which just made me look like a stalker more than anything else, so that didn't win me many friends. I spent a lot of my free time drawing pictures of my longing for a social life outside of family that I was denied because of this stupid f*****g diagnosis.

Wow. Never thought of a diagnosis as a hindrance. Sorry you went through that.

It can be, for a socially aware and articulate female Aspie with no speech delays. I had anxiety more than anything else, which I was able to tell people about, and I had undiagnosed ADHD, which nobody bothered to notice or look into, probably because I was a shy schoolgirl rather than a disruptive schoolboy. Just my poor emotional regulation, short attention span and hyperactivity made me challenging for my parents (which are more commonly symptoms of ADHD). I guess I had social awkwardness somewhere among my peers and I was fearful of loud noises, so that won me an early diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome.

Undiagnosed adult Aspies fascinate me. I wish I were one of them. I hate already knowing from a young age. I hate it. It makes it seem like I might as well have been severe, as in non-verbal or noticeably delayed in speech. But apart from the challenging behaviour I had for my parents, I still went out to play with friends as a child and enjoyed family vacations like any normal child. In fact I was the sort of child that seeked stimulation - I loved chaotic, social environments and being occupied with social activities. It was a shame my poor emotional regulation sometimes caused me to bicker with my siblings and cousins, and I could sometimes be sulky and attention-seeking, but otherwise I wasn't the typical autistic child who needed special treatment or the world to revolve around my sensory needs to avoid meltdowns, or anything like that.
In fact I didn't really have sensory meltdowns as a child, I had temper tantrums more so, due to not being able to handle emotions like disappointment or having a playmate being taken home earlier than expected. It wasn't change I disliked, because I loved surprises, such as a surprise sleepover with my cousins. I'd jump for joy then and be all excited. But cancel a sleepover or some other social thing, and I'd throw myself on to the floor and cry.

If you watch the UK episodes of Supernanny, I was similar to some of the children in some of the episodes. I wasn't violent or anything, I was just hyperactive and had poor emotional regulation.

I feel you on so much of this, I should have been tested for ADHD before anything because traits of that cause me the worst problems. But I never was and it got lumped in with the aspergers stuff. I was always told that it was because of AS that I'm *insert textbook ADHD archetype here*, so I've never bothered to seek assessment. Anxiety as also been more disabling for me than autistic traits ever will, too.
And like you, the level of monitoring and special attention I received was a real style cramper! I had friends outside of school who never knew. Early diagnosis for the milder cases is a double edged sword, I often wish I was left alone to grow into a regular eccentric. I feel like my life would've been different now.
And big same about cancelling being worse than surprises! Cancellation and postponement of plans really enrage me but making on the fly social plans is very welcome! I jump at the chance.
I was more of a supernanny kid too which was a mix of abusive mother in my case and I suspect a naturally built-in PDA profile/persistent drive for autonomy. (And funnily enough, receiving diagnosis I don't consent to really triggers that. If I were undiagnosed now I think I'd relate to aspergers anyway of my own volition.)

I am extremely grateful to have only been diagnosable as an adult. I wouldn't have done well being held back any further when younger.

I'm glad there's someone else out there who actually had a similar experience to me. Often I wonder how people manage to get through childhood without being diagnosed, like they just slipped through the net and then suddenly had that "aha!" moment in their 20s or 30s, and I'm talking about people of our generation who grew up in a time when autism and Asperger's were recognised (1990+).
All right, maybe I'm being a bit dismissive here, as many people who didn't get diagnosed until adulthood went through hell because of it. But I'm talking more about people who just managed to be the shy kid at the back of the classroom and weren't really challenging for their parents. Maybe they were intelligent and so was just seen as an introvert with high IQ, rather than a problem that needed to be assessed and labelled and fixed.
Yes, the support was good that I received through school, but if I could go through school life again I'd rather have not been the "special kid". I'd rather have just struggled on with my schoolwork but of had a better social life. All that attention I got because of a diagnosis just made me fear any sort of failure really, because I was conditioned to think that if I failed again they might assess and diagnose me with everything. So I just kept my head down really all through school, stayed out of trouble, and led a rather boring and lonely life in adolescence. And I didn't even care about grades, I wasn't really a learner, I wasn't cleverer than my peers, although I did have a very creative mind that sort of clashed with the expectations that schools forced upon kids.

Reminds me of a time in art class when I was about 15, we all had to do a project that involved working on our own on any type of art piece, be it a painting or a collage or anything. So I decided to buy some paper plates to decorate, and I tell you, it was a very creative idea. But I failed it and couldn't be graded, because apparently it could only be graded if it related to an artist that we had to study in books. But I wasn't so good with studying and books. I'd rather just come up with creative ideas and go from there. I suppose they just looked at my art piece as a hobby-type craft, rather than an educational project, I don't know.
But the reason why I chose art class at school was because I thought it was all about self-expression and there being no "right or wrong" answers. In fact all the classes I chose in high school were creative; I also chose shop class and music (sorry, I'm speaking American). Shop class was harder, but at least we were literally allowed to come up with any design we wanted and had a whole year to just work on it in shop class sessions, and while I needed help from the teacher with using tools (maybe because I was a girl and not very good with engineering-related things, I don't know), I still got a good grade because of the design I had come up with.

Only thing is with me as I'm much better at coming up with creative ideas than I am at actually making them, unless they're easy. For example, I'd like to decorate my bathroom in an aquarium sort of theme, and I have the idea and everything in my head or on paper, but actually focusing on decorating the bathroom down to the smallest detail is what I'd find difficult. Focus has never been my main strength, and coming up with creative ideas oddly doesn't require as much focus, as it actually comes more from distraction and having a chaotic mind full of colours, words, images and emotions all at once.

I can see what they were going for but it seems like a silly idea to me where not absolutely necessary. It's so bad for teenagers to be singled out like that.

I am really sorry that these systems failed you, Tamaya.

For what it's worth, I think you've done wonderfully with what you were given. You're social, kind, creative, you've built a loving relationship...

Doesn't heal the wounds of the past I know. But I think you should be really proud.

I didn't talk to anyone when I was a teenager.

I've thought about the roots of anxiety deeply. One trigger, in my opinion, is social demands: pleasantries, cues (where to look). For people with communication difficulties, participation drains energy. Reason unknown. It could involve decreased blood flow in certain brain areas.

From experiences like yours, @Tamaya and @Fishyfisherton, and others, experts/clinicians can spot flaws in standard care and shift toward personalized approaches where needed.

People my age weren't diagnosed with autism or Asperger's Syndrome unless they were disabled to the extent that they couldn't manage in a typical school.

I think my situation was bad in that, in school, teachers mostly dealt with my issues by punishing me but I wasn't one of the "bad kids" who would have been lumped together and at least given each other some sort of support. Another way to put it is that teachers and pupils both hated me (mostly).

My parents were strivers and they badly wanted to place me in a "private" school because they believed that by attending private schools, I would make the "right sort of friends". They eventually placed me in one that I would have had to leave after 3rd grade anyway (I won't go into reasons) but in 2nd grade I was asked to leave. The reason was that during some sort of science demo I kept kissing this little girl (her family was quite wealthy although I don't think that really mattered). I can sort of recall the demo but not that I was kissing the girl (I clearly saw nothing wrong in that at the time).

Then in 4th grade (public school) there was another demo, this time the teacher was demonstrating a new technique for teaching addition of large numbers. I spoke up and told the teacher the other children were confused by this (they were) and was marched to the Vice-Principal's office and given a 2 week suspension (suspension is considered a serious punishment and is typically used for delinquents).

Having said that, I will say that I was sent to see a Social Worker, I guess every week, and I can remember sitting in that office and refusing to talk. So it was recognized that I had a problem although they didn't have a word for it that I was aware of (it's possible they told my parents some things that weren't shared with me).

OTOH because it was generally recognized I had a "high IQ" I was recommended for the Accelerated Program in Junior High which meant I skipped 8th Grade. I had the same home room teacher those 2 years. I can recall her showing me the "class file" and pointing out that most of it was taken up by records of students whose last name began with the letter mine begins with (and I was the only pupil in that group), to make it clear to me that I was a constant problem. She also bent over backward to make excuses to punish me, either for not doing homework, or not doing enough homework. She wanted me to understand that even though I was a smart kid I had nothing to be proud of.

For Senior High, I went to another private school that was small and this was actually a calm period. They had basically an in group and an out group, it was too small to have the sort of cliques you might have in a normal-sized high school such as AV club where I might have found some companionship. I was bullied but not to an extreme extent, however one time I decided to defy one of my tormentors and so one day he was waiting for me at the bottom of a stairway and he slugged me quite hard in the head and I was knocked out, when I came to I just when on to class. I should have been taken to hospital and he should have been expelled but of course nothing of the sort happened.

So now I was ready to go to undergraduate school which I chose to do in another state. So it turns out that I had just turned 17 when I first went there. I decided to study Modern Languages because that was a special interest at the time, which largely meant that my time there didn't give me very much in return except proficiency in a couple of European languages. This is why I checked the alcohol/drugs choice, because I had still just turned 17 and wasn't out of my adolescence then. So I apparently looked "big for my age" and even after just turning 17 no liquor store or bar ever doubted I was old enough to buy alcohol and I bought plenty, plus "college life" also offered plenty of opportunities. At this point I need to mention that, regarding cannabis, I had something I call "Steve Martin syndrome" which is that I got panic attacks from smoking weed, and would in fact only try to smoke if I had enough alcohol to allay the fear. So I basically avoided drugs however it was out of fear rather than morality. I think that had it not been for that fear, I might have developed some sort of drug dependency so I don't regret it. Having said that however, I seem to not get seriously addicted to things. I never became an alcoholic, I don't drink very much now even though in my youth I exhibited behavior that might cause many to accuse me of being an alcoholic, and there were also times when I smoked quite a bit of tobacco (usually if I happened to be dating a tobacco smoker) yet I never had much trouble stopping, like I stopped for good when I met my wife with no trouble whatsoever.

This basically covers the time period in question. I hope it's consistent with the intent of the subject.

What type of punishment? Teachers beat my hands until they bled, for missing homework.
Corporal punishment was normal back then. I got used to it and never cried.

There's a Saudi proverb: "The bones are yours, the meat is ours." Parents trusted teachers completely with discipline and teaching, and they took it too far.

It's banned now.

The punishment was to remain in the classroom until personally dismissed, after the usual dismissal time. It may not sound very harsh to you, but what matters is that the school had rules to the effect that one is free to leave at a certain time in the afternoon, but the teacher suspends that rule in your case and you must stay until she decides to let you go, which she had the authority to do (was a common practice then, maybe not quite the same nowadays). Basically a form of detention.

That's way worse. I hated every second wasted in school.
I loved days with early dismissal, fewer classes, or extra breaks.

So, I wasn't a shut-in but I wasn't out doing drugs or drinking either. In my early preteen to teenage years I went to sleepovers and we would watch a DVD with some popcorn. Maybe play a game.

Then in my mid to late teens I was mostly going to cafés, cinemas and parks. Maybe going out for food as well. Caffeine is a drug, so, I guess I was doing drugs technically. We weren't going out to raves though.

As a young adult, I did give the whole clubbing thing a go. It wasn't for me. However, clubbing had fallen out of fashion at this point. It was all about themed bars with fairy or neon lights and indie rock music playing softly in the background. Usually there would be an activity like mini golf, video games, arcade games, board games, bowling and so on.

So you'd have some drinks, usually there are some mocktail options as well (I don't drink), and then you'd pay to do an activity together for a couple of hours.

I think that not drinking has become quite socially acceptable. My generation, gen Z, currently has the lowest rate of drinking. The ones that do drink are drinking less but going for more expensive luxury items when they do. Low to no alcohol bars are also rising in popularity.

I was never a drinker when I was younger either but I used to be out with my friends who did drink and it was never really commented on or I never felt pressured anyway

I used to really enjoy watching them get drunk because I was fascinated with how it would change them but this wasn't a pub or club scene. It was more just hanging around the streets

I went through a phase of drinking heavily in my 30s but I don't drink at all now

I like a pot of tea