Synesthesia?

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I have it as far as numbers, letters, and other things having colours. O is white, by the way, you were both wrong.

I do have it for music but nowhere near as strongly as others here have mentioned. My wife has the mirror touch/neuron variety, but doesn't have it as strongly for the typical types.

I think the Wiki article talks about it being more prevalent in women in general, and I'm wondering why one poster was only asking how it affects men sexually. For me, though, sex is unrelated, there's no effect. Not sure about the OP though, although my wife gets the touch colours but doesn't report anything for sex either.

As part of my Dx (high-functioning Autism &/or Asperger's Syndrome - dual diagnosis) I have also synaesthesia. However, I don't regard my synaesthesia as 'bad' or 'good' or other. When I was a kid I could not know others had only discrete senses whereas mine are combined. I don't know why this would be unique or an enviable diagnostic trait.

This means I hear color and see sound, as if they are interchangable. In the laboratory, and for my observational/memory/learning skills, my combined senses are advantageous. Also, I've learnt to acclimate for the synaesthesia since I couldn't know otherwise! Much like a color blind person doesn't know differently either.

But being a synaesthete is hard too - my senses can become overwhelming, where I feel even faint (or contribute to meltdown). I get 'stacking' or 'layering' of senses, as if a synergistic effect; everything all at once!

As for my autism, I have 4 emotions in sum total which means they're combined as well, much like my senses. My brain is likely hypercircuited and I have no Sylvian Fissure. Very high genetic propensity for Autism is likely a factor too.

I had always associated colours with letters and numbers, and also with certian words (days of the week, months, etc). My spelling is nearly always spot on, and when I was learning foreign languages at university it helped hugely in learning vocabulary.

Back in 1988 there was a radio programme in the UK (where I lived at the time) that dealt with the subject, and I had never heard of it till then. You were invited to write in, which I did, and got a reply from some researchers at the University of London with a questionnaire. I replied and asked them whether their findings would be published or if they could send me a copy of their final research but they never wrote back. I wonder how research has progressed in this fascinating subject in over 20 years?

I have met many men (and women) with synesthesia, especially those that pain transforms into fabulous pleasure. There is a whole branch of the BDMS community that works with that exchange. I personally can relate because of my own sensitivity to poison oak (and ivy and sumac) will transform the itching to some sort of hollow orgasmic struggle to end the itch by scratching vigorously.

I don't know if it's synaesthesia or not but sounds makes me feel like i am moving.

That's very interesting. I have more than four emotions, but I do not have a full range of emotions. I have some and not others. People look at me weird when I tell them that. I guess they just *don't get* it. Fascinating to find someone else who experiences this.

Also, I see letters and words and phrase units as colors most of the time. I can instantly in a nanosecond pick the right answer out of my pattern recognition by right one being in colors. I also experience some other people's feelings and intentions as colors. If I am getting a shades of blue reading from someone, it usually means I can trust them. I really don't know how to explain it.

I need to see words in order to hear them, also, but I don't hear colors. If that makes any sense.

MKDP: That does make sense (pun intended) Syneasethesia is very hard to describe in words and to one who is not the description is rather moot, like trying to describe the color and concept of GREEN to one who is color-blind. My emotions are rudimentary but I do feel.

I've used sonicators in laboratory and sonicators are tuned (aside from being calibrated). I can tune a sonicator with my eyes since when 'in tune' I see yellow-orange. If not tuned properly the color shifts and I know. I don't need to manually tune a sonicator due to my synaesthesia.

For the physics: We know energy, where an electron falls back to it's native orbital, is expressed as color, light, sound, heat, etc. For the synaesthete, we know electrons fall >> energy......and the way in which this manifests is unity.

For others, this falling electron is distinctly a color, a sound, light, etc. The autistic brain is essentially micro-circuited and this intuitively makes sense.

Thank you for the nice post, LabPet. The pun was funny. I'm not sure I follow what you said. I am very beside myself right now, because my doctor quit me because I fell in love with him. And I am having a very non-verbal bout right now. I am pretty davastated about it -- he was basically the only one I was able to communicate my feelings to. I feel like I am being punished by losing my best friend and my doctor for being able to have feelings.

MKDP: Oh, sorry - that's just hard. I think Autists FEEL and don't really have the ability to 'turn off' feelings or senses. But that's a hard situation. Hope you feel ok soon though.

LabPet, I'm not feeling very good. It is wrong to fall in love with someone ? I am supposed to turn off the feelings ? That is why people have broken hearts. I can't just not feel how I feel. This is how I feel. I never met anybody like this person before. He has been the brightest diamond in my otherwise crummy autistic life. His whole approach toward me changed as soon as it was clear my early autism diagnosis was re-confirmed. I guess my autism makes me less than whatever person I was before re-confirmation of the diagnosis ? Maybe autism makes me not human ? I didn't go looking for him, either; he came into my life -- I never would have known what I was missing if we never met. I almost ran way from our first meeting. I wish I had. I have never enjoyed someone's company more. I should have reconciled myself to the fact a long time ago that good things don't happen in my life with autism. Ever. I am really having very non-verbal bout right now.

MKDP: Your artwork is awesome! There is a non-verbal forum in the Haven you may be interested in. Anyway, (quasi PM)....I can understand falling in love with your doctor. If he says 'No' then I guess that means 'No.' You already know this, but a doctor cannot be intimate with his patient. But if you love him then you do. That's just really rough since he would be the one to confide in. Can you find another doctor (sans personal attachment)?

Being autistic is hard with sensory differences layered on top too. I've had countless disappointments but persevere because of that innate drive - I think you have this too, yes? Just so sorry for the tragic break, and subsequent broken heart. Must say, the incident is tragic, but romantic in a bittersweet way which is how autism is. When I'm stressed (or equivalent) I tend to lose speech too - the NV forum (*sticky*) is safe.

I can see colours for certain numbers. Also, they will have mild and relatively indescribable emotions associated with them.

Certain tastes make me taste other tastes that aren't present sometimes. Eg. watermelons with a mild taste of onions.

LabPet, I understand a doctor is not supposed to be intimate with his patient, but neither is a lawyer. However, it happens all the time, intentionally or intentionally. I told my doctor I had autism up front. He also knew from many, many conversations with me my deepest emotional attachments are to my horse. He knew I am very deeply attached to my horse. Although he is a neurologist, he achieved an award for teaching in a dept. of psychiatry. Any doctor who knows about autism and our attachments relating as if humans to our horses experiecing love, would know that if he told that autistic person his father used to let him bring his horse into the living room (thereby enhancing the humanization of his horse), he would by communicating on my wavelentgh be able to effectively hijack and transfer my feelings from my horse to himself. He knew I had autism. I find it hard to believe he did not know exactly what he was doing given his background -- he did not think about sparking the intimacy dilemma then ? Yes, he was the one I confided in. My ability to communicate with him is very rare -- for me. I don't feel like I can trust another doctor. I feel like my deepest trust and feelings were betrayed, and I have autism, so it makes me sick.

I don't really feel like I have any innate drive, either. I have tried for 20 years to get my bar license, but I keep being denied due to my autism/accommodations I require. It is the same for getting and holding employment I can do, and I have rarely held employment that could support me for most of my life. My husband promised me if I moved to Florida, which I did on 2002, he would help me get my bar admission. He hasn't helped me at all, and won't help me. He got hi slciense, now too bad for me. My doctor told me he would do more testing, and a comprehensive report on my condition and the accommodations, and testify for me to help me try to convince them to let me have my license. I don't think he thought I had autism, even though I told him up front, and had prior adult child support adjudication by my parents for this. So I don;t think he ever thought he would have to do what he told me. Then, when he got the proof I have autism to confirm the prior diagnosis, I don't think he intended to do what he said. No one else has ever come close to understanding my problems in a way they can explain it to bar examiners and the courts, until him. So, I know I won't ever be able to get my bar admission, and my employment situation will also never really improve, and because of this, and 20 years being about all I can take of trying, I really don't have that innate drive anymore. My life is obviously, the "vast waste" he called it.

I am not really even feeling a whole lot like painting right now. Dr. Treffert initially responded to my artwork my suggesting he would refer me to the late Richard Wawro's art handler. But after what happened with my doctor, I have not gotten any further response from anyone on Treffert's end. With the severity of my autism I really don't have the ability to handle the visibility or how to earn a living from my artwork to be independent -- it is all the energy I have just to keep painting more pieces and being with my horse. I have a lot more than "countless disappointments." I have one of the most tragic lifes probably of anyone with autism. There just really isn't any point in continuing with super-Herculean efforts, since I really have to just accept my life is a vast waste, and I will never be able to earn a living working at anything. I would not be the first or last savant to be in this circumstance. If you battle for all your life, and can't ever get anywhere, why would you have the innate drive to keep failing ? It is easier just to be a warehoused person with autism. None of the education, talents, or abilities really mean anything, since there is no way for me to reach any of my goals -- and I happened to all in love with the one person who could and said he would help me. So he quit me.

I am married, by the way, and my husband knows about this -- he has known I was falling in love with my doctor for a long time now. I struggled with all this for a really long time, but I cannot deny how I feel -- it is how I feel. Like so many other ways in which I have followed my heart -- law school, my painting, my horses, my efforts to gain my license and employment to live independently, adding only more tragedy to my life. I am still feeling very non-verbal. About the only one I have communicated with is my horse.

corr: "happened to all in love" = happened to fall in love

Thank you for the compliments of my artwork. I have a couple piences I did finish that are drying, and maybe I will put them on my website, even though I am as shutdown right now on painting more as I am communicating verbally.

I used to have color-sound synesthesia. I would hear certain sounds and I saw color patterns. This completely disappeared (sadly) when I started taking anti-seizure drugs. (I have psychomotor epilepsy. Or had it-- as it is completely controlled.)

There are a few things I miss about it.

--des

I associate numbers and letters with colors and sometimes emotions. I don't get anything with sound.

I don't know the details of this situation, but that seems an inappropriate comment. Also, you cannot help loving someone and I can understand why this situation feels like you are being punished for doing so.

I suggest contacting Treffert again. He seems helpful. It's probably worth reminding him of your case.