Trashy, slu*ty females

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From the OP

Such a conclusion necessarily implies that the OP wants to be annoyed.

The OP is not merely asserting that she (the OP) should dress a certain way, but is also claiming to be negatively effected, emotionally, by those who do not dress according to her preferences. I am rather confused as to how one can be simultaneously annoyed at others for doing their own thing, while not wanting them to do things in accordance with their preferences. Surely annoyance does not occur when you are neutral to what others do?
From the OP


If someone asserted that they get annoyed at females who engage in beer chugging, and that such females are harming other females/feminism, would you interpret this as the someone not wanting you to conform to their preferences?

At the end of day, the notion that feminism promotes freedom for females, and the notion that females exercising freedom undermines feminism, seem contrary at best. The notion that females have some duty to behave a certain way, as though they must merit their equality, while males need not merit their equality through their conduct, is far from equal and seems rather antithetical to feminism, equality and freedom (to me).

Is the OP talking about
• women who dress/act sexy because it's fun? Her choice. None of my business.
• women who have been abused and it shows? Very sad, in my opinion, but hardly her fault.
• women who have no choice but to act slu*ty if they want to get paid work? That one really annoys me (especially in film/television, since it's actually bad for business).

The first one is women doing their own thing; the latter two are women having choices taken away from them. Makes a big difference which category people are talking about.

Of course, women are often blamed when it's not up to them, which annoys me, too. And sometimes the reverse happens, where women are seen as victims when they're not (except perhaps fashion victims, but that's different).

There needs to be a grrrl version of Wrongplanet. Maybe I'll start it with the OP.

There's not much of a place for grrrls like us on WP.

We can call it "Wrong Grrrl Planet".

Good breakdown. Can you make a version for "guys who are attracted to slu*ty girls"?

PS; I won't judge the women in the third category unless they don't want anything better for themselves and think of men as meat and money.

well said! i couldn't agree more

QFT Mme Le Pen.
some of us women wih AS - cannot wear make-up, cannot dress up with nice clothes ( nor want to) and cannot cope with perfumes. It is called sensory integration dysfunction. it afflicts a fair few of us who may have more pronounced traits in this area.

cat amongst pigeons

Last edited by millie on 10 Apr 2009, 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I can identify with some of the OP's points.

It gets irritating....because I have no car to get cat calls (which are unpleasant and different from a genuine compliment) and I've had some guys treat me in some degree "dirty".

It's a little hard to describe and I'm not trying to be all femenist or non-femenist but it does get old after a while. There are some good men out there who are great people. I really wish this mentality on how a woman dresses and looks didn't get the assumption that...."she's asking for it."....and I hear that a lot from guys. I know that can be debated whether she is or isn't but nevertheless I think one should respect her not put her down in such a way.

Let's face, men don't have these complicated problems of having breasts and can take it off all they won't without fear (for the most part) that some lady will come after them.

And yes, in college, I have had guys treat me as a kid when it came to topical subjects. I only started noticing this when I didn't see it happen so much between guys.


BTW RoisinDubh, love your style of clothing and hair.

I've always been big on many modern/vintage looks but never could pull it off.

Salt-n-Pepa said it best.


What's the matter with your life?
Why you gotta mess with mine?
Don't keep sweatin' what I do
Cuz I'm gonna be just fine - check it out!

If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight
It's none of yo business
And if she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend
It's none of yo business
Now you, shouldn't even get into who I'm givin' skins to
It's none of yo business
So don't try, to go and change my mind, I'll tell you one more time
It's none of yo business

Now who do you think you are
Puttin' your cheap two cents in?
Don't you got nothin' to do
Than worry about my friends? -- Check it!

I can't do nothin', girl, without somebody buggin'
I used to think that it was me, but now I see it wasn't
They told me to change, they called me names, and so I popped one
Opinion's are like a**holes and everybody's got one
I never put my nose where I'm not supposed to
Believe me, if he's something that I want, I'm steppin' closer
I'm not one for playing high-pole
Like the house of ditty 90210 type of the ho
I treat a man like he treats me
The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothin' but a fee
So hold your tongue tightly, wish you could be like me
You're poppin' all that mess only to stress and to spite me
Now you can get with that or you can get with this
But I don't give a s**t cuz really it's none of your business



[1993, S and P, packin' and mackin'
Bamboozlin' and smackin' suckers with this track and
Throw the beat back in!]

If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight
It's none of yo business
And if she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend
It's none of yo business
Now you, shouldn't even get into who I'm givin' skins to
It's none of yo business
So don't try, to go and change my mind, I'll tell you one more time
It's none of yo business

How many rules am I to break before you understand
That your double-standards don't mean s**t to me?
I know exactly what you say when I turn and walk away
But that's ok cuz I don't let it get it to me
Now every move I make somebody's clockin'
Don't ask me nothin', will you just leave me alone?
Never mind who's the guy that I took home...to bone

Ok, Miss Thing never givin' up skins
If you don't like him or his friends what about that Benz?
Your Pep-Pep's got an ill rep
With all that macaroni trap for rap you better step
Or better yet get your head checked
Cuz I refuse to be played like a penny cent trick deck of cards
No, I ain't hard like the b*****s on a boulevard
My face ain't scarred, and I don't dance in bars
You can call me a tramp if you want to
But I remember the punk who just humped and dumped you
Or you can front if you have to
But everybody gets horny just like you
So, yo, so, yo, ho - check it, double deck it on a record butt-naked
pep's ass disrespect, and this but it’s none of your business

If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight
It's none of yo business
And if she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend
It's none of yo business
Now you, shouldn't even get into who I'm givin' skins to
It's none of yo business
So don't try, to go and change my mind, I'll tell you one more time
It's none of yo business

So the moral of this story is: Who are you to judge?
There's only one true judge, and that's God
So chill, and let my Father do His job

Cuz Salt and Pepa's got it swingin' again

^Couldn't agree with you more and love that particular one from Salt n' Peppa.

Use to be one of the few rap artists I listened to as a kid.

this slu*ty trashy one really just believes... each to their own.

someone here has to maintain a stance of perpetual oppositonal defiance before we all waft off into political correctness and corporate climbing.

Yep - I wanted to add that my tomboyness does not just extend to my brute strength and ability to chug a beer.

Intellectually, I am drawn to areas of interest that are often dominated by men - egghead men - the worst kind. The passive-aggressive sexists.

I really dig: economics, politics, military history, Roman history, ancient history, world religions, cars, business, mechanics, engineering, space, geography, crime & punishment, medicine, meteorology, military intelligence, energy and utilities, maritime history.

I know more about these disciplines than most guys - but guys become very threatened when a "girl" knows more and is more passionate about these subjects. They become dismissive, patronizing and will try to change the subject or challenge us.

I really feel it here on WP. The times I have chimed in - especially on the topical subjects - I get run over. I won't name names - but there are a few guys - if I see their tag, I will move on to another conversation.

The most telling part is - in real-life I have traditionally guy's name. In the past, when I have just used my name and someone has not heard my voice or known I was a woman, they assume by the content and my "writing voice" that I'm a guy.

Which is why we love you, Millie! We grrrls gotta stick together!

Oh, Millie...I just want to come down there and give you a makeover!

I am extremely picky about comfort and smells. I don't want to be able to feel anything. I have it down to a science/routine that works for me - without giving up my girly flare. All my clothes are stretchy and airy - I only wear jeans when its cold and I have to go outside. I wear a lot of black and neutrals - and as long as clothes fit and are flattering - I'll keep them until they die.

I don't wear much jewelry because it feels foreign on my body and it looks foreign in the mirror. Just rings. I even stopped wearing earrings. My multi-hole ears are decoration enough. "Yeah - that's right - I used to be a rebel." Keeps 'em guessing.

I employ aromatherapy and chemistry for fragrance. I will go to the end of the earth to find fragrances that don't make me sneeze or be in a bad mood. For example, there are a couple brands of sunscreen - Calfornia Tan SPF 30 and Bain de Soleil Gel SPF 8 - that I love! They remind me of being at the beach - my ultimate happy place. Sometimes in the summer, I'll just slather suncreen on under clothes and that's my "cologne".

I also like to mix essential oils. I have lavender, cypress, rosemary and eucalyptus that I mix and match depending on my mood or what mood I want to be in.

There are only a tiny handful of "perfumes" that I like. And that list is constantly refreshed as I grow out of fragrances. (OMG! Anyone remember the original Obsession? I used to bathe in that and now it makes me gag.)

I love you MmeLePen.

I have four sisters - very, very glamourous some of them. They helped me a bit, but I cannot wear anything but cotton and as i am an artist i revert always to my work clothes. I do like it that way though. My youngest sister who has been a singer and songwriter in my country and is drop dead gorgeous used to help me - but I had to be chemically affected to cope with the random nature of clothing,diversity, choice, etc. and then there was the problem with seams, fabrics. BEcause i am a painter I actually have an excellent aesthetic sense..but the issue for me is one of multi-tasking -- so clothing might look good off, but when it gets on and looks ok but FEELS LOUSY i have to take it off. I cannot cope with the discordance of these processes and my stress levels go through the roof. funny old thing I am.

I might add, i love looking at women who are dressed really beautifully and i am very "sexist male" in some of my tastes in this area. that is how i am wired. IT really is the case.

As for some men on WP - well - that is just the way it is with some, i suppose. I do that, and i also steer clear when i see some women posting in threads also. I daresay some may view me in this way as i have been to l can be a bully. Blunt? yes. Bully? no.

So, i shall just wear my cotton and if the truth be known, in spite of my proclivities, i wear what i want to wear and really do want others to do the same....Including the "trashy, slu*ty" girls who dress like i did when I was a chemically induced sex robot sex worker. I loathe hierarchisation of any sort in this manner. It seems so, well, comfortably upper middle class and so unaware. (ooh daahling...how the other half loves...and lives....)


I know a lot of women in 12 step NA. Many dress trashy and slu*ty when they get clean. And continue to do so their entire lives.
Good on 'em. I hope they open their legs for all and sundry if it makes them happy. I hope they get as many wolf whistles as they want to get, and chalk them up on the board when they get home. I hope by the end of the year they have tally as long as their street. I even hope they f**k their way through life if that is what they want to do.

ANd for those who want to chalk up their self-esteem marks by way of a beautiful sense of dress......well go for it too and i hope it makes those women happy too. Just don't do it at the expense and criticism of others who may live differently. I really loathe that kind of judgment.


I chalk up mine by way of my special interest/career.


I love the way MmeLePen approaches this issue - with a sense of self-awareness and without the need to bash on other girls who may approach things a little differently in the style stakes.

ANd MmeLePen - yes, we girls have to stick together and rejoice in our differences.

Oh...and a little adage inview of the OP's rather unfortunate distinction.
It has been said, "Would not the world be a staid and boring place if all and sundry who populated it were just like me?"

i'm off to the races....
Giddy up....

let me see if I can articulate...

I tend to view them on a subjective basis..just like I try to view anyone. It is something I kinda find difficult to understand sometimes. Maybe I am in denial of the extent of their appeal....but I feel sort of androgynous most of the time...even when I try to doll up, i do it in a really unconventional way..seldom showing very much skin...and I have never really ever felt like a sex object...even though i sorta get around a little bit...(have 2 boyfriends)...I still feel frumpy and boyish...and not really very much like a girl....even when I am all trussed up in my Poopylungstuffing stage costume.

My second partner, who has spent the larger portion of his adult life celibate and in the company of the mostly inaccessable hyper-sexualised feminine ideal as it is most frequently protrayed on television, sorta tends to idolize it to a certain extent....and maybe part of that comes from him wanting to BE that...as he identifies with both genders...dunnow...since I guess that is not necc the case for the run-of-the-mill everyday manly men who find the same women attractive...i guess....

My main partner feels intimidated by the ectomorphic, conventionally sexy types, and favors short stocky girls like me and his other girlfriend.
His other girlfriend happens to be a "working girl"...(she wasn't when they first met)...usually she dresses the part....super low-cut dress...lots of cleavage....really high heels....Physically she sort of resembles a "slu*ty" Campbells Soup Kid...
I dislike her for other reasons than how she dresses and what she chooses to do for a living.
I would be incredibly uncomfortable having to dress like that all the time. Sometimes it is refreshing to hee her dressed in at least somewhat more comfortable clothes...albiet a rare occurrance.

There is a trashy slu*ty artist girl who comes around my place and annoys the bejesus out of me...but it isn't because she is trashy and slu*ty...it's because she is a self-centered, self-serving, overbearing mooch...Granted, in the old days, before I cast off the shackles of monogamy, it used to really intimidate me the way she used to always rub up against my partner. It is really grand not caring so much about those kinds of things anymore...