Even my shrink said I was strange.....

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Thanks. I have the sneaky suspision that you may be right.


I'll keep everyone posted. I dont think that the meds are the answer though, I have tried the sample she gave me yesterday before I had class. It didnt go well. The topic got onto "radio communications" one of my "focused intrests" and I started spouting all matters of info about HAM, various freqs (pronounced freaks) and how GPS can be intergrated into radio and used in conjunction with the fireservice. I DID notice the strange looks and the snickering while I went on and on about the topic. I normally, unmedicated that is, wouldnt have dared take that kind of classstime to ramble about an intrest. I generally ramble one on one, unless specifically asked otherwise. I got loads of weird looks and several glares. Then I went on to Wal Mart and wondered around for an hour looking for something I should have found in 2 minutes. I was VERY uncomfortable with the eyecontact I had to make with the people I accidently almost rammed my buggie into, like more so than usual. It was a weird feeling. Im going to try the med for a week to see what happens. its supposed to be one of those that you can take on days when you have to focus and not on days that you dont have to, so the addicitve nature of the med shouldnt be an issue. But they will have to give me somethingelse anyhow if it accually does helpbc my insurance wont cover it any how. (makes me wonder why I pay 135.00 a month for coverage when they limit what I can and cant do or take for help) My mom and I talked about this in depth and she seems to think that if its not Aspergers then maybe they will discover what it IS and beable to fix it in therepy. But she doesnt think that its ADHD alone, she said that reading the descriptions of aspergers was like reading my life on paper. Maybe seeking that offical D'x wasnt a super idea after all. I mean, Im 98% sure all these things ARE Aspergers, but that 2% of me is still in denial. I just dont see what it could be if it isnt AS. All the componants are there.... *sigh* Maybe its enough that I know who I am.

This is not the forum for this, but i must speak everytime about this important issue.

Wal-Mart is the worst place in the world to shop. They are leading the way, in the killing of the American Middle Class.

I would love to discuss this in another forum.
Bump your buggy; too small of isles.

And LSE,
do keep us posted.

Most psychiatrists nowadays are biological psychs: they believe that all mental ailments are the result of neurochemical imbalances. That, plus HMO restrictions on patient consultations, has led to an increase in drug prescriptions, esp. SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and SDRI's (Selective Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitors) since serotonin and dopamine are felt to be the most key neurotransmitters involved in depression.

This, IMHO, has led to an incresed tendency for Americans to believe that all they have to do is take a pill and they'll be better. I'm not saying these drugs don't work for some people, but I think it's more important for people to figure out what they're depressed--it might be low self-esteem as the result of learning disabilities, and even food allergies have been known to cause neurochemical abnormalities. It also means that people can excuse their bad behavior if they don't take their medication--for example, a kid could say, "I was bad because I didn't take my Ritalin."

I've been on medication and am currently taking SAM-e for depression. It doesn't make everything sunny, of course--even Prozac didn't do that--but I get less frustrated less easily and I can deal better with my negative emotions.

"Of course, that's just my opinion--I could be wrong."--Dennis Miller

OK, *TAKES DEEP BREATH* im going to the therpist my shrink hended me off to tommrow, well technically since its after midnight, today.... I anxious to see if he will even entertain the thought that Im AS. I quit taking that ADHD med after a couple days on it, it made me more aspieish and down right mean. I am going in with an open mind. Well as open as I can get it. I looked up stuff on adhd and social issues online and didnt find enough that backed up what the shrink said in the first meeting. It still cant account for the developmental and sensory issues as well as the obsessive nature I have about select topics. *takes another deep breath* We shall see what we can see.....

At my sons neuro the part with the parents interveiw he kept calling me fastenating and interesting and wanted he to keep going on about stuff when my wife was trying to get me to stop.

I have had the same kind of experiences with shrinks. Since early childhood, I have been in and out of their offices as my parents tried to figure out what was wrong with me. One shrink kept spouting the F word thinking he was going to make some connection. Another shrink when I was 25 started smirking at me as I described a feeling I had all the time. He treated me like he was amused with me for the rest of the session. I described it as the feeling you get, physically, before you cry. I don't mean more than what I say (FRUSTRATING AS HELL that words mean so many things that often conflict with each other -- more than I can keep up with when I talk or even write), but I suspect he took it like I was I want to cry all the time, which isn't even close. It was the only way I could describe it, but he started smirking at me like I was some sort of freak and put me on Buspar for generalized anxiety disorder, which did nothing but make me feel nausea, although it is understandable that he would say generalized anxiety because nerves can make that feeling. I'm convinced it just came from frustration from not being able to interact. I always used to say, "I... I don't act like a nerd, I don't wear nerdy clothes; why am I the biggest nerd in history here?" That is what caused that frustration, now that I can look at it with hindsight.

Then, another doctor put me on Zoloft to deal with tension headaches, which also did nothing. I'm convinced she was in it for the money, looking for any excuse to push that drug on me for the kickbacks. That didn't work at all (but it was AWFUL to go off of. I actually feel far better now having been off it for years than I did when I was on it. It was indescribably tough to ween off, even slowly. There should be a law or something forcing a strict warning on that drug!)

I didn't realize I had AS until I read the Wikipedia entry on it and it read like a handbook to my life. I wrote my parents about it and it turns out many of those psychologists said the same exact thing, and that it reflects exactly what they said, but they didn't have a "name" for it. I refuse to go back to a shrink again. They have been the most judgmental, tactless people I have run into with far less listening skills and empathy they are supposed to have. Ironic that these people, who are supposed to be experts, can't seem to hear what I'm saying to them at all. I just look at them and go... "What? No... that wasn't what I said at all... hey, why are you looking at the clock?" You're right: they just snap to judgement and collect their fat paychecks.

Forget them: it seems that AS is one of those things that is pretty hard to have half of. Self-diagnosis IS a bad thing, because we don't have the same information they do from the outside-in, but AS has some pretty straight-forward symptoms and historical things that will match extensively with your past. It seems to me like having to see a doctor to know one is balding. Pretty obvious. That, and these shrinks don't agree on things and have their own personal biases, which I'm certain you ran into.

I even got the "schizophrenic" word once. What a joy in front of my parents to hear that one!

Hang in there: you don't need permission from a shrink to start using these resources to help with the challenges!

OK, here is the "update":
The theripist was very kind and listing, though he did type his notes on a rather noisy keyboard rather than jot them down as other shrinks I have known did. He said for now he is going to leave the D'x as "ADHD" and next time we'll look at the DSV-M and "see what Aspergers is, and go from there". I am okay with that. He didnt discount me right of. He DID go on to say that "there is no perfect brain" and "Asperger's is a fairly new diagnosis". He also went on to say that "just meeting the criteria of Asperger's doesnt mean that I have it". (huh? isnt that why there are criteria for things, do list the symptoms and if you fit into the majority its a pretty good designation?) He went on more to say that I might be ADHD and that the developmental problems, sensory intergration issues, and the social issues (etc) might be individiual things and unrelated. He also said that nothing about me "jumped out to him as Aspergers" but that social conditioning and age can sometimes fade and mask the symptoms.

But at least he didnt totally discount the idea. I think that once he goes over the DMV-M and the paperwork I have from prior D'x he is going to be a little more convienced.
I did meantion to him about the bullying and social issues that I had, and he asked me to "think back to these classes and really count just howmany were actively bullying me". I did. I really thougth back, pictured each face, and each major incident. the precentage was about 90% overall, and on an EVERY DAY basis, something like 75%. He thought that number was high because most of his patients counted something like 3 or four out of 20 in a class that actively bullied them. I told him that there were a few classses that were in that range OVER THE YEARS, but those were very few and the vast majority were in that 75-90%, and then there were 3 classes not counting gym that the TEACHERS parcipated. Im not sure that he accually believed me. My mom and I discussed this, and she agreed with MY numbers, she remembered how severe it all was. Anyhow that was just an aside. Im going to give it a couple sessions (insurance covers all but 30.00) and see how it goes.



k96822,
That is some good advise. Thank you for shairing.

King Asper here. So what if you do have a PhD in psychology, have worked with children and adults with aspergers, and still no one believes you? Or how about if you get diagnosed and your therapist takes it back.
I have been working in mental health for 25 years. People believed me when I said I had PTSD even without hearing my symptoms. They believed me when I said I was OCD, even though I wasn't. They believed me when I said I was depressed, even though I wasn't. I meet the criteria for Asperger's. Yet when I tell people they tell me I can't have it. Why? #1, I can't diagnose myself, and #2, the real reason: I'm not ret*d.
So I can't get help for it because how do you treat something people don't believe you have?
I stopped laughing about this awhile ago because it has cost me my job and at this point, some of my hair.
Meanwhile my fellow crisis clinicians (none of whom have a PhD) diagnose people with Aspergers because they seem a little wierd, and it sticks.
Here's a good question for you all.
Suppose I diagnosed you with Asperger's. Would other people believe it? Of course, because I am apsychologist.
Go figure.
just joking: anyone who wants an Asperger's diagnosis, come on down to my office and I'll give you one for free.
Either you meet the criteria or you don't.
I meet the criteria.

Hrm this reminds me of what I got from my shrink on my first visit Wednesday. She said I probably didn't have Asperger's "because I have friends." I'm hoping afer a few weeks on the Lexapro she gave me she'll realize that depression and anxiety aren't the cause of all my issues...she did at least admit that "she might be wrong" and wanted to try to treat the depression and anxiety first.

At least my therapist agrees with me. Unfortunately she's only a psychotherapist (no PhD) so she can't officially Dx me. But she's great.

It's almost as if they think that if giving an Asperger's d'x will cost them money. I agree that I have some other issues going on, but I have all of the d'xs that accually add up to AS in hand and some even varified by second opinions. I'll show those to him when he wips out the books next time. *rolls eyes and sighs*. I'm not even seeking meds or disibility. I just want to know whats going on so I can take steps to overcome some of my issues and have the "right kind" of help to overcome the problems I have for that "quality of life" that even my shrink says I should have. Shoot, when I first ran across the d'x I ddint even want to accept the fact that I meet the critreia. I researched it, looked deeper into it, looked at other countries methods of d'x-ing AS, and even other possible issues that could be the root of the problems I have. I expected, when I showed the criteria to my mom she would laugh and say "no, you are not this" but she DIDNT. She looked at it and said "its like they wrote your childhood and described you here". I think Im so hell-bent on getting the d'x now because I have to know that all the problems that I have had arent my fault. That its HOW IM WIRED, not that its my fault (as I have thought for years) I cant seem to get the social aspect of human interaction. And then try to learn stratigies that will help me adapt to and cope with the world because I know that the world isnt going to adapt to me.

<<hugs>> Neuroman. your words are strength for us all.

I can relate to the teacher abuse part. When the teachers joined in, I really felt isolated, like I was the exception to every rule and broken beyond repair. You aren't alone! For me, that was over 15 years ago and now my classmates wish they were me. For that matter, so do the teachers.

LSE: Glad to hear the new psych was better than the old one. In my considerable experience, some are s***s who think they know exactly what is or isn't wrong with you, some are genuinely empathic human beings, and some just go by the book (read: DSM).

Neuroman: I'm halfway tempted to come out your way for that DX. Do you have night hours? I'm pretty nocturnal these days.

I'ts so much fun reading about these escapades with incompetent mental health professionals....

Partly, I think this may do to the fact that since its such a new diagnosis, many of them were not taught this information formally, and there is still a lack of current information in textbooks because the people who write the textbooks were not educated in aspergers either.
There is only 2 sentences in my brand new Abnormal Psychology book that mentions AS, and they were spelling it as "Asperger'S SYNDROME" ! !
I think we may have to wait maybe another 10 years before a new generation of psychiatrists come in who are fully knowledgable with the existence of AS. Because I think for the "average" therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist, that does not specialize in developmental disability, Asperger's Syndrome is still something of a myth.

My favourite time!... When I mentioned it to a doctor once, because I wanted to get a psychiatrist referal for a diagnosis, he said to me...

"I met one guy who had Aspergers before. He seemed like a robot and talked really slowly and didn't blink. You don't seem like a robot, so I don't think you can have Asperger's. "
And then he laughed as if it was absurd to suggest, since I didnt seem like this ONE PERSON he met that supposidly was diagnosed.
He then told me that I did not need to see a psychiatrist because I couldnt have AS, just based on the fact that I was able to speak coherently and answer questions without being robotlike...
and then for my sensory issues he started talking about chinese medicine acupuncture crap and suggested I take out my peircings because they could be blocking a pressure point. And then when I told him that I have had these similiar reactions my whole life BEFORE I had any piercings, he just said "goodbye!"


Maybe they also dont like to diagnose because they know it is something that can't be fixed, so its not a disorder that heavily strokes their ego when they suddenly "cure" a patient/client.

many many truths.....

Nothing annoys me more than people who are in the profession of helping or ruining peoples lives handling that duty irresponsibly.

I hope you find a shrink who isnt an ignorent idiot, and actually tells you things which help you.

I was dealing with a Shrink, about six years ago. She told me that I was a strange cookie, and than she told me that I want to blend in with my Peers. I've explained that I do not want to blend in with my Peers, and that I would rather wear the Union Jack and live a lonley life, than pretend to be like everybody else. Than a couple of weeks later, that same Shrink has invited my Parents to come along with me. She told my Parents that I've told her that I don't mind living a lonley life, than she preceded to laugh her head off. Than she told me, once more, that I want to blend in with my Peers. To this day, I still do not wish to blend in. I wear the Union Jack, proudly on a couple of shirts that are loose and comfortable, and I am NOT lonley.