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Corrupt A Wish

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Iamaparakeet
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17 Feb 2019, 4:25 pm

Sylkat wrote:
The Governmental Housing Agency has decided that you do NOT have to stay at your current residence.

You are hereby granted a new domicile, complete with a full- time job.

You are now, officially President Trump’s bodyguard and press secretary;
You shall be at his side at all times.

You shall protect him from all real or imagined threats, and live in the White House, taste all his food and drink, sleep in a recliner outside of his bedroom door.


For not wishing a wish, the corrupted wish you have given is your situation now.


I wish I were rich, but only kept enough to live a middle class life and use the rest to help the poor and build up orbital infrastructure like an orbital ring so that humanity could finally become a spacefaring civilization for real.


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PhosphorusDecree
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12 May 2019, 5:02 pm

Humanity's progress to the stars is brutally interrupted in 2057 when the Iamaparakeet Space Elevator collapses, flaying the Earth's equator with 275 million tons of industrial diamond and causing the deaths of billions. In the long, dark centuries that follow, on more than one occasion a dirt-poor mining community strikes diamond and briefly becomes insanely rich, before swamping the market leading to global economic collapse.

I wish British tabloid newspapers were suddenly full of calm, well-considered and actually-fact-checked stories that promote empathy and understanding instead of ignorance and hatred.


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Antrax
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16 May 2019, 1:43 pm

PhosphorusDecree wrote:
Humanity's progress to the stars is brutally interrupted in 2057 when the Iamaparakeet Space Elevator collapses, flaying the Earth's equator with 275 million tons of industrial diamond and causing the deaths of billions. In the long, dark centuries that follow, on more than one occasion a dirt-poor mining community strikes diamond and briefly becomes insanely rich, before swamping the market leading to global economic collapse.

I wish British tabloid newspapers were suddenly full of calm, well-considered and actually-fact-checked stories that promote empathy and understanding instead of ignorance and hatred.


The British people devoid of their tabloid fix, turn to the U.S. based national enquirer which with improved market share and resources blackmails prominent leaders of world governments into eliminating all other tabloids.

I wish I was a dragon sleeping under a mountain of gold.


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WildColonial
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26 May 2019, 10:43 pm

A hobbit finds a bare patch on your underside and the future king of the village you took over shoots an arrow into that patch.

I wish I could lose weight by simply thinking about it.


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248RPA
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01 Jun 2019, 3:32 am

Granted, but you lose the weight from muscle instead of fat, and you become all flabby.

I wish I have air conditioning right now.


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Antrax
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04 Jun 2019, 10:30 am

Granted, we grant you the most powerful air cooling system in the world. The thermostat is stuck at 39.2F (4C).

I wish I didn't have allergies.


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Borromeo
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04 Jun 2019, 10:42 am

Wish granted, but removal of your allergies involves destruction of your immune system.


I wish subwoofers had not been invented. :twisted:


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pcgoblin
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01 Dec 2025, 6:35 pm

Granted

Woofers will no longer be Subs. Instead of a woofer between two buns, they will be server just as woofer covered in moist dog food. Maybe some cooked spaghetti spread on top.

I wish an intact copy of London After Midnight was found, preferably before I die.


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