Post a random truth (about yourself)

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I'm a Sweet Pea

I'm still listening to that old German stuff from the 30s and 40s after 9 years. It comforts me.

I'm highly suspicious of mushrooms

I like to play with Lego

Sometimes, when I get suspicious over someone, they'd ended up getting arrested or socially ruined...

And I never had to lift a finger or say a word when a rumor suddenly starts to spread about them.

They just get karma'd. Even my bullies.
Like a life-changing bad news had or will happened to them way closer to timespan that I happened to dislike them enough.

And it's not like how most people around me ended up with either despite having some problems of their own -- it's like the people I dislike gets singled out every time it happens.


Doesn't matter if they're a prestigious figure or some lowly bum.

Doesn't matter if this person is even too young to do any wrong or actually old and whatever they did earlier in life.

Doesn't matter if they're known to be loving and charitable respected member of society or actually a criminal on a run.

I don't know why.


Sometimes if I hate a show, for any reason, even if it's just their schedule interrupting my Saturday Cartoons, they'd end up getting banned or cancelled.

Doesn't matter if it's obscure and new, or very popular with years without controversy.

Even places. Sometimes businesses get shut down.
Even if they've been at it for years until I went for the first time and ended up with a bad impression.

I really don't know.
I might be sensing certain things in a person or events.

And I cannot control it.
Or maybe it's just a huge, huge bias.

Except, sometimes, people are wary at me that I might curse them or something. Maybe this is why some people are nice to me despite never meeting me nor knew my mom before.

And no, I don't actually believe I have superpowers. I really get too many coincidences 'on my favor'.

And I'm a pessimist. It's not my "attitude".

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Deep down I feel guilty about liking things such as music, stories, video games, cartoons or classic TV shows because they were all created by humans and not something that exists naturally.

And we're lucky if those humans aren't disgusting freaks that need to be in prison.

I don't like eating in front of people and always try to eat alone if possible. I don't like the idea of people smelling my food, asking me about my food or watching me eat it. Close family only enjoy this privilege.

I've disidentified at a really young age.

It's likely because I cannot unconsciously dissociate or disconnect from sheer dissonance.

At age 6, there's the real me who's the conscious who witnesses this life, and there's the me who's the mind, the body and feelings and being a miserable spoiled brat of a human.

I don't like her existence.
I don't like existing as her.

If someone else is in my place, they'll likely be happier in this life. This life is objectively finer than many in terms of sociability and emotionality.

But I'm not.


A person who never gets nor feel lonely.
A person who will always get company whenever.
A person who can always have a partner if she ever desires.
A person who's not worried.
A person with lots of decent models.
A person who just have more than enough.

She's the one who doesn't feel like deserving. Doesn't feel gratitude. Either it's guilt or smugness.
She's the egocentric fool I have to put up with along with all the useless childhood attachments.

And I really don't care. I just want to opt out.


She has autism.
I never mind embodying autistic.

Her body is annoying. Her mind is unreliable. The things she feels is even annoying regardless if I ignore it or not.
It's like having to take a dump or managing incontinence annoying.

And I'm just boring because almost nothing of my intentions worked out so what's the point?

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I identify as a pea

I love the way chocolate orange segments fit perfectly in my mouth

There was such a time when at 8, I was fascinated with the concept presented later in Matrix - even if back then, the movies weren't made yet - I was wondering whether I was real indeed or whether I was a digital being, artificially created by some higher power and even the fact that I had some memories concerning the past, couldn't fully convince me that I was real FOR SURE - because what if the memories just got downloaded into my brain because I appeared in this world just a second ago, I wondered

But generally, I was a really untypical child - for example, my obsessive interest when I was 7, was sexology, I read all books on the topic I managed to find at home, although many kids this age still tend to believe in storks bringing babies

As a child, I was convinced I was a psychopath because back then I had no idea about neurodevelopmental disorders. I just accepted it as a part of me - it was just like that: "I have a long braid, I live just with my mom because I have no father, I am interested with sexology and I'm a psychopath" It was just natural to me.

Im on the bus me

I'm a bit indecisive when it comes to custard

I actually think I'm a bit scared of it to be honest