We love Campin' Cat

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I finally found a job where I wasn't lazy, stupid or corrupt and I'm gonna get killed for it!

English? Who needs that?
I'm never going to England.

(Screams) BOOGIE MAN! You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun! Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!

I hope I didn't brain my damage.

Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk.

Bart: Dad, I can't believe you're risking my life to save your own.
Homer: Son, you'll understand one day, when you have kids.

Oh, kids are great! You can teach them to hate what you hate!

Homer the role-model. Not.

Homer is such a good father lol

[Lisa is strangling Bart]
Homer: Lisa, no. Your hands are too weak.
[begins strangling Bart]

Homer: "Boy, everyone is stupid except me."

"Oh, they have the Internet on computers, now!"

and now we have crazy bastards who want to connect our cars, washing machines, fridges, pacemakers and shoes to it, too.

For once maybe someone will call me "sir" without adding, "You're making a scene"

"Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!"

You mean besides yourself, Helen Lovejoy?

Marge: Homer, it's easy to criticize.
Homer: Fun, too.

Nelson: "Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in!"

Mr. Burns: "Ooh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list."

Mr. Burns: [Giving a talk to inspire the school] Okay, I'm going to keep this short. Friends, family, religion. These are the demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Any questions?