Missed out on so many milestones

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mebbe a major change in scenery is in order.

I was thinking the same thing auntblabby said.

Are you still living with your mother? Move out. Get a cheap room in a house somewhere. It sure sounds to me like mom is pissing in your Wheaties.

I don't know why people think there are milestones, there is nothing you need to achieve. Ever. Just be yourself.

the OP needs to understand that his life schedule doesn't have to be like anybody else's life plan schedule. his is his own lesson plan for this lifetime.

Can totally relate to this- I've never been in a relationship, lived on my own, had a 'real' job for more than a few months, been on a date, been drunk, had a 'social circle'... Could go on! I feel like a failed adult most of the time and like my life should have stopped aged 12 but it didn't and I've grown up without actually feeling like a 'real adult' if that makes any sense? Really, really sucks

it seems a lot of us are stuck at mental age 12 but in old bodies. I wonder why this happens.

Some of my biggest regrets are that I never had a true teen years. I didn't have any friends at all -- no close friends and no boyfriends. I never got to hang and joke around. I remember the day of my junior prom. I didn't go. My parents were out (at least for a while). I got dressed in my fanciest dress, somehow formed a wrist corsage And cried my eyes out. I'm about to cry just thinking back to all of this. Not only was I a loner, everybody in the school knew me as the weird kid -- so I wasn't able to blend into the scenery.

Even the teachers ganged up on me. I wasn't diagonsised as being on the spectrum until I was in my late 20's. The teachers always said that I was acting out and attention seeking -- when in fact it was my symptoms of my autism. I was always doing something "a bit off". I remember once my mom told me that she (my mom) was called in by my teacher because I pulled staples out of the wall and didn't say "excuse me" when I sneezed. Really stupid things like that that I was constantly doing. I don't know what possessed me to do those things.

Right now, I wish I stayed in public school (I went to Catholic school since 1st grade). Maybe, then they would know what to do with me.

that all sounds like me.

I feel you man. Milestones I missed out on:

Graduating high school: Urghh, I dropped out. I have serious dipolma envy, Hell I even have had some dreams where Im standing in line waiting to get it but the weird thing is I don't know if I ever do because I cant see it,

I dropped out of school because I went to three different highschools, and bullying.

Driving: I still do not drive. lol

Mostley because I'm uncoordinated unless I am intoxicated which is bizzare to me and I don't even know why that is happening. Hahaha, I have perfect hand eye coordination drunk. Heck I can play basketball wasted!

I am sure there are others but these two bug me the most.

Milestones I "missed" ... yet didn't miss:

Prom - I didn't see the point, made no effort to go, felt empathy for a girl I knew who wanted to go but couldn't because nobody asked her (felt sorry for her, but WTF?).

H.S. Graduation - I had a waitress job waiting for me in another state so I skipped grad, I thought very dismissively of my h.s. anyway. It wasn't worth staying in town for the ceremony.

College Graduation - likewise, I was leaving town and in fact, turned in my final two courses by mail because I couldn't take final exams due to a death in the family. I attended convocation as an usher, just to see what I was missing. (Not a lot.)

Dating in h.s. - a couple boys showed an interest in me but there was no way I was giving my mother a chance to comment on my dating or romantic interests. I "escaped" to college in another state, and immediately learned a whole lot about dating!

Getting my driver's license as soon as I turned 16 - didn't really feel a desire for one, since there would be no car to go along with it. Was still reeling over a neighbor's experience of running over a toddler as a teenage driver, felt haunted by it. Got my license at about 19, which was fine by me.

Anyway, I hope this demonstrates that I put little store in "milestones," and feel they can be delayed, substituted, or skipped altogether, as long as life is moving forward.

I very willfully avoided the prom. The idea of it still creeps me out. People like to show old prom pictures. Why?. Nobody looked remotely like they did in thier prom pictures. Guys back in the '70's wore Led Zeppelin T Shirts, Army Fatigue coats and worn out dungerees not Tuxedo's.

I remember how others around me would say nonsense like "God has a plan for you!" and "Let go and let God!" so it made me feel like everything would come together on its own but the depression shattered my faith. I felt like I had wasted a good chunk of my life just sitting around waiting for God to bring me what I desired and tell me where I needed to go. A teacher from my grade school years recently told me she still thinks God has a plan for me but I just can't buy into that anymore. Well, I haven't been able to buy into it since I was 18.

Everyone has different experiences. Maybe what is concerning you is that you are comparing your life to everyone elses; but you aren't everyone else so it is unrealistic to have expectations for yourself through the eyes of other people. "Most people" do the "normal" thing that is expected, they play the roles and reach the 'milestones' and still maintain their miserable attitude. By focusing on what you think you have missed out on you are missing out on taking time to find out what goals you have. "The master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried."

The same kind of people are always jumping down my throat and insisting their way is the right way despite how unhappy they are but if I say anything, I have a fight on my hands.

Some people don't figure things out until their 50's.
I'm just finally sorting myself out now - late thirties.

and some unfortunates never can figure things out.