Starship WrongPlanet: The Bigfoot adventure! 6/19/05'

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Monastic, shaken, terrified and blushing madly sits in a corner of the Engineer Room wishing to help with the confused crew members staggering about asking for a doctor, but not really sure if she can stand errect on her wildly shaking legs. "Did I really see what I think I saw?" Monastic asks herself again and again thinking it had to be something out of a wild dream.

Skaking herself and rubbing the numbness from her limbs she tried half-heartedly to stand only to slide back down the wall into a sitting position once again. That, that......thing.... and.....the captain....all that....that.... what the heck was all that stuff? - Knowing full well what "that stuff" was but in total denial of the scene that had played out before her, just moments earlier. Blushing madly again Monastic turns her mind to more horrifying thoughts. "By trying to confuse that Thing.....did I make matters worse?" She wonders. Monastic is at a loss as to what she can do for the crew at this moment.

Putting her arms around her legs, she lays her head down on her knees....& tries to catch her breath, letting her thoughts roam back to how Hot Science Officer Ghosthunter looked in his jaunty little beret and for some strange reason, of penguins.

That is the spirit. You guys and gals
are definely bringing this sick drama
to life! I wonder when the comic book
version comes out? Me thinks(say's
ghosthunter )

Make sure to draw me as a relativly thin, but bulky scotsman, who wears glasses to fiddle with stuff, but otherwise doesn't. Also, I want a sash. Nothing fancy, just a sash. Purple I think. And a beard.

Also, give dunc a toupee like Shatner has


"Ach noo. Monastic, will ye please stop sitting on the emergancy console?"
Monastic stands and moves away from the console, then she sits in the corner, huddled up.
"Ach here lassie. Have a wee scotch."
BlackLiger opens the console and pulls out an emergancy bottle of scotch. He then pours Monastic a small glass.

General BLACKLIGER, after shooing Monastic away from the console that she had evidently been sitting on, reaches for a stout bottle full of some sort of brown liquid.

Monastic curiously takes the glass of elixir from the capable General’s hand and sniffs at the glass which is expelling the most remarkable aroma.

“Thank you,” she replies to the purple-sashed Scotsman. With quick glances she appraises the rather thin but well muscled General taking note not to stare at his unusual (but appealing) purple beard! (“OMG! It matches the color of his sash perfectly,” she marvels to herself.)

The brown nectar seems sweeter with every sip and the tingly-good feeling that the fluid causes makes her smile a bit as it silkily runs down her throat… yessss, quite soothing.

After a bit her shaking stops as the comfortable numbness flows through her extremities. Looking up, she notices the most curious thing. The strong Scotsman seems to be changing shape before her very eyes. Is it the drink that is causing this vision or perhaps those darn pesky little penguins again?

Oh my!! ! Hmmmm!

"Ach, Aye. I bee a marine aswell as an engineer. And noo lasse, That be called being drunk. Or my armour has broken again and is trying to morph me....."
Ghosthunter walks in at that moment..........



Oh, and it looks like Monastic thinks I should look a bit like Billy Conolly

Chief Engineer Blackliger is talking to me….(must remember, Chief Engineer, not General…making a mental notation for future reference) but Monastic only hears a few words that make sense to her in this drunken state.
"Ach, Aye. mrmbmmsmmnnn an engineer. mmummblmmmmdmmm drunk. hnnnblmmmmblahmmm trying to morph me....." is all Monastic can make out as she drifts in and out of consciousness. As the drunken Monastic takes one more look at Billy Conolly, er….uhmm, Chief Engineer Blackliger she is startled (almost sober) by Ghosthunter’s abrupt entrance.

/me goes flying from getting hit mysteriously out of nowhere with a heavy book

Ow!

<The she beast is sleeping, and I pull the animal skin over her. I sit back, insert a cuban in my mouth and try to light it. The Cuban shouts at me in spainish and runs to put the fire in his hair out. He runs out of the cave. I am now dissipaointed I have nothing to smoke. . . .so I just sit rubbing my head from the big lump the book left.>

Hmmm. . . .what could be taking those silly people so darned long?

I hope Monastic is not getting drunk . . . weird stuff always happens when that happens. <remebers last time, and laughs a bit, which wakes up the she-beast>

*the following has been edited by myself to protect innocent young minds. . . .

"Ach noo. I reccomends ye all joins the UNSC."

Monastic, now moderatly drunk, stumbles over to Ghosthunter and attempts to salute, while BlackLiger programs the computer to ignore Monastic's commands untill she is sober.

Hands Prometheus a needle with tranqualizer in it.

"Here, you have to tranqualize the she-beast, try not to get bitten...or raped! That would be bad!! !"

*If drawn, I look like Jim Carrey(but a little shorter and larger build). Wearing purple pants, yellow shoes, green shirt, red beard/mustache thingy, rainbow hair, thick black eyebrows, and sparkly white gloves...sparkles!! !*

Edit: Just put picture in "Pictures" thread.

Mr. Ghosthunter takes Monastic to sickbay......
Ah! I see the Chief-Engineer is expressing
his Scottish self. Hmmmm? Fascinating! Let's
pick you up and I'll take you to sick bay.

And now back to the planet!

The skys are growing cloudier and white flakes
are dropping upon us. Doctor Sarcastic_Name
has suggested that we put a tranquilizing needle
on a ?Sling device we made. I have the scots guy
with all his strength hurl it to the beastie!

Hmmmmm? Fascinating? I see that the monster
is woobling a bit.

Scots guy(dressed in a kilt in REALLY COLD WEATHER)
and I, Mr. Ghosthunter("Hot Science Officer Ghosthunter
looked in his jaunty little beret ) charge at the creature.

Doctor_Sarcastic Name will attend to Monastic!

Science Officer Out!

Hmmph! Hmmmph! I don't get it, says LowFreq!
I was seeing penguins and hear a bad episode of
the "NT Zone". Now it is over! Hmmmmm? -OMG
I am beginning to sound like Mr.Ghosthunter!

"Oh! Dear! was that Mr.Ghosthunter I heard?"
says, Large-Breasted female!

Achnoo!, "Oooooops"

Hey!! !! ! Wait a minute, I think if I analyze this
penguin lust and use what just happened in
mimiking flaws?.......I may have a cure????

"Oh! my large muscled bwodddy Loodyyyyy
I am being ignored!" say large breasted female!

Zoink! and blip goes the screen!

Just in case the chaos on the bridge wasn't enough, everyone hears a distant scrabbling, then a massive swarm of penguins burst into the hallway with wildly flapping wings. Standing in the midst of them, with a uniform looking rather the worse for wear thanks to penguin beaks, is Chief Security Officer Pyraxis.

"I've got it!" She lifts up some bizarre device. "Captain, I rigged one of the ship's guns as a mass penguin tranquilizer!" She presses a big red button and glowing beams strike the penguins in front of her. The fall over stunned. "See, it doesn't even hurt them!"

"Shoo! Shoo!" And she proceeds to chase penguins down the hall.

"Now would somebody please do something about the poor things before they get stepped on?"

Upon reaching the bridge, our Chief Security Officer sees the computer screens relaying pictures of the bigfoot hordes down on the planet.

"Hmmm... Captain!" and she holds up the mass penguin tranquilizer. "We need to make this thing just a wee bit bigger...."

A loud and thunderous roar of heavy metal music
floods the bridge with a video of M.Jackson
do some type of "Autistic" hand flappings singing
"Just beat it-Just beat", Ooooh! Hi, Pyraxis,
Lt.Commander! I have some GOOD NEWS AND
some Bad News!

I may have a cure for Penguin lust??????????
I will have to do some computing before
the announcement! and Admiral Alex is
looking for the captain and since he is being
a bit "Postulus" lately! I suggest Chief Engineer
and You greet him since you are not being too
badly affected by Penguin lust.

OooooH! I will beam the peguins to the hoards
of big foot as part of my experiment!

Ships computer out!

Vmmmmmmingggggg! and a hoard of penguins
trample around the marauading and horny big foots
that are intrepid heroes were going to have to face.

Doctor_Sarcatic name is examing Mr.Prometheus
and the captain and Scots Guy are coveing their
ears since it made a horrible squelching-
Radio-Frequency sound!

Hmmmmm? I suggest that we....Damn communicators
don't want to work as a few of the penguins enter the cave.

"Mr. Ghosthunter, wait! We have crewmen down there!" Pushing penguins off the starship controls, "Where's the beam-me-down button when you need it?!"

What kind of security officer would Lt. Pyraxis be if Prometheus and Sarcastic were trampled by rabid penguins just as they'd escaped the terrible she-bigfoot??

Having finally found the button, our intrepid and rather penguin-bitten lieutenant stations herself in front of the bigfoot cave, penguin tranquilizer at the ready.

Mr.Ghosthunter is in the cave, and the
ships computer is beaming the penguins
down!

I like this story so far! It is sick!
Pokes fun at WrongPlanet issues!
and is going good! And thanks Sarcastic_
Name for not being so...confused!
Ghosthunter