Your wound is your gift.

Post Reply New Topic

thank you, kraft.

I agree. Also, another point to consider is that people who are wounded sacrifice years of their lives, their energy, their sanity, their relationships, their money, their time and their productivity to "try" healing or uncrumpling the paper. Whether it works or not, the fact that they must sacrifice all of this breaks them even further. Recovery is a form of breaking, because there is always another price to pay. The process one goes through to recover is often another form of abuse (e.g., criminal hearings, physical surgery and medical violation, dismissive doctors, financial hell, judgemental people, lost wages, etc).

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, so they say. But, it's an eye for an eye in the game of recovery.

Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 11 Mar 2019, 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

every time i raise my head, every time things start getting better, another hit comes pelting. i have no sanity to sacrifice.
(long rant of a triggered ptsd case)

Exactly. I agree. Of course "recovery" sounds like a lovely option. Who wouldn't want to recover? That's ideal ... but at what cost? Whose cost? How? At the cost of numbing your mind to the truth vs. having flashbacks all day, repressing your own thoughts vs. agoraphobia, developing insomnia vs. dependence on sleep medication, fearing the world, ignoring one's instincts, quitting one's job, working through it and having a nervous breakdown? Is it the cost of pretending nothing happened? The cost of never having another relationship? Having another relationship just to soothe old wounds, but not to actually trust the new partner? Trusting when you don't really feel able? Selling out on yourself? Putting yourself at risk again, just to prove to someone else that you are "better"? What is the cost of allowing the bad person to steal your soul, because you choose to forgive them out of exhaustion, desperation and financial depletion?

Recovery has a big price tag, one that the perpetrator seldom has to bear, see or share.

It's riddled with Catch 22s, and is never as easy as "move on".

I want to throttle the idiot who said that

That nonsense blames the victim

Hell is other people

Should I be grateful for this gift?
/s

Can/should I gift others in this way?

can relate to that feeling

thanx

and ya my whole life is a catch22. is there anything else?
as to perpetrators, they dont see. they dont. they chose to not hear/read what u say. and then blame u for not having said anything. and then ignoring the suggestion to f*****g revert to logs.
*(long rant about gaslighting)

This makes no sense to me! Are we asking if we consider ASD the wound and if we think it’s a gift or not? It’s not a wound... it doesn’t even meet the definition of a wound. And if we do have wounds it would probably depend on the situation and who’s around.

autism on itself surely is not a wound.

No I wasn't referring to autism as a wound, either.

I was referring to the wounds of victimisation from Complex PTSD, which serpentari and Claradoon also experience.
I think the question is open to interpretation, but most of us would think of emotional scars which we carry, not autism.

physical disability counts too. but ya. defo not autism.

Thank you for posting this - it is an extremely important, essential and unavoidable part of "healing", that people who didn't go through it completely ignore. Comments similar to the title of this thread are used very, very often to excuse and justify abuse, to get people to shut up and just as often to blame the victim or even demand them to be grateful for the abuse and trauma they've suffered. Even those who recover and function "normally" or achieve success by society's standards pay and will continue to pay a tremendous price for the rest of their life.

perfect summary, bender.
more on that topic https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recoveri ... tic-abuse/
and ya, im so f*****g done with stockholm syndrom. now im blamed for that.

Thank you for your empathy. My psychologist alone has cost me the equivalent of about $150 000USD in the past ten years (conservative estimate), on top of my lost career / salary / pension, the costs of a criminal trial (roughly $250 000 USD), and the paramedical support I needed for my breakdowns (adrenal depletion and then a stroke). Thank goodness I have free health care and didn't have to pay for my ten+ surgeries which were required because of trauma. None of this includes the money and assets that were outright stolen via identity theft by the perp during my ordeal.

I will be paying forever for the psychologist and the court costs because of compounded interest on loans.

Sure, recovery has been great. People should try it sometime. (Sarcasm to those who think it's easy.)

Stockholm ... don't get me started. That involves caring about the psychopath.

its my mother and grandmother...
to start with

^
You and Isabella have a deep understanding and insights on the subject - I always appreciate your posts, but they make me sad too, because I have a pretty good idea how such depth of knowledge is gained.

Edit: I'm so sorry to hear about that Isabella, it's beyond revolting.

Last edited by BenderRodriguez on 11 Mar 2019, 2:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.