funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,295
Location: Right over your left shoulder
07 Jul 2019, 2:02 am
TheRevengeofTW1ZTY wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
TheRevengeofTW1ZTY wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
TheRevengeofTW1ZTY wrote:
I have bipolar disorder and I'm afraid of snapping one day and ending up in prison or homeless.
I've never heard someone describe this so closely to my own wording.
I have a weird way of doing that on Wrong Planet.
I've tried to articulate this to my mom before, about how depression isn't the worst part of BPD, it's mixed states and mania that are far more potentially harmful. Mania is like having someone randomly start feeding you methamphetamine for days on end in unlimited doses, it would be useful if it was mild and manageable (kinda like stimulants, actually) but because it's too much, too long and too disruptive it's really just dangerous to one's well-being. Combine the way BPD impacts judgment, ASD impacts judgment and the way BPD impacts one's ability to manage ASD symptoms (and vice-versa) and it's kind of like walking around with a large container of nitroglycerine inside of you.
It really does suck having it.
I figure it just means one is intended to 'burn brighter, but quicker'. Might as well smoke hash, dust, meth and drink liquor; get f****d and start rukus in public and crash the Ac' Vigor:lol:
07 Jul 2019, 6:20 am
07 Jul 2019, 6:27 am
07 Jul 2019, 7:17 am
07 Jul 2019, 7:35 am
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,295
Location: Right over your left shoulder
07 Jul 2019, 7:49 am
BTDT wrote:
I find that I can use retail therapy, also known as shopping for cute stuff you don't need, and stimming to deal with the crap that comes my way. I stimmed as a kid, so why not do it now if it helps? A cheap and effective solution.
In fact, stimming has less than zero overhead. I can go from a stim state to a flow state very quickly. Good luck doing that with your favorite drug.
In fact, stimming has less than zero overhead. I can go from a stim state to a flow state very quickly. Good luck doing that with your favorite drug.
I can still flow when I'm bent from smoking so much dusted 'dro it's like i'm drenched.
11 Jul 2019, 4:34 am
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,295
Location: Right over your left shoulder
11 Jul 2019, 12:23 pm
11 Jul 2019, 1:07 pm
11 Jul 2019, 1:23 pm
11 Jul 2019, 8:30 pm
blackicmenace wrote:
My life is completely pointless. I am essentially waiting to die and it's taking a very long time. I try to distract myself from these facts, but then there are times where I am all too aware of it.
I feel you, brother.
Erm,
Metaphorically speaking.
I guess this is the inescapable conclusion when one takes their rose tinted glasses off.
But embracing reality doesn't have to mean depression.
Not saying you do.
Depression is in essence often an attitude choice if it has a psychological rather than chemical cause.
Not all existentialists or nihilists become depressed.
I haven't shaken hands with Herr Depression for over 30 years. <shrug>
12 Jul 2019, 9:41 am
12 Jul 2019, 9:56 am
Even after BA cognitive science and AA accounting nobody will hire me
Normal talking volume hurts my ears
Scared of dogs
No friends
Exhausted all the time
Not homeless
Health looks decent
Do not need glasses at 36
Live somewhere not too homophobic
12 Jul 2019, 12:04 pm
12 Jul 2019, 3:06 pm
Pepe wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
My life is completely pointless. I am essentially waiting to die and it's taking a very long time. I try to distract myself from these facts, but then there are times where I am all too aware of it.
I feel you, brother.
Erm,
Metaphorically speaking.
I guess this is the inescapable conclusion when one takes their rose tinted glasses off.
But embracing reality doesn't have to mean depression.
Not saying you do.
Depression is in essence often an attitude choice if it has a psychological rather than chemical cause.
Not all existentialists or nihilists become depressed.
I haven't shaken hands with Herr Depression for over 30 years. <shrug>
I have only myself to blame for my self imposed isolation. I tend to keep myself distracted by playing video games and by dreaming, but when the dreams end, I confront the realist in me and I find reality can be excruciatingly painful. It's past time for this collection of substances to return to a non conscious state. However, I am glad you have found peace.
13 Jul 2019, 12:41 am
blackicmenace wrote:
Pepe wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
My life is completely pointless. I am essentially waiting to die and it's taking a very long time. I try to distract myself from these facts, but then there are times where I am all too aware of it.
I feel you, brother.
Erm,
Metaphorically speaking.
I guess this is the inescapable conclusion when one takes their rose tinted glasses off.
But embracing reality doesn't have to mean depression.
Not saying you do.
Depression is in essence often an attitude choice if it has a psychological rather than chemical cause.
Not all existentialists or nihilists become depressed.
I haven't shaken hands with Herr Depression for over 30 years. <shrug>
I have only myself to blame for my self imposed isolation. I tend to keep myself distracted by playing video games and by dreaming, but when the dreams end, I confront the realist in me and I find reality can be excruciatingly painful. It's past time for this collection of substances to return to a non conscious state. However, I am glad you have found peace.
While I still consider myself "middle-aged", studies have suggested many people find "happiness" later in life.
They come to terms with what is presented to them.
They accept their "lot in life".
As William Shakespeare wrote:
" All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;"
I think it foolish if one takes it too seriously. <shrug>
Quote:
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/ ... ds-a-stage
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/ ... ds-a-stage
