I hate when people recommend stuff to me

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This.

Although there is one caveat. Sometimes the "you" in "you oughta see this" means "you -as an individual", and sometimes it means "you-ANY one- this thing is the latest rage among the crowd". The former is more of compliment. Like "you like sci if, and you also have a droll British type of sense of humor, so you-as-an-individual should have been watching Dr. Who from the get-go".

The you as in "you as an individual" I do take as a mild compliment- whether I end up liking the thing or not.

I've encountered two recommending cultures:
1. My parents - I was raised in a culture of some reserve and giving space. If my parents say "you should <do something>", it means they gave it a lot of thought, they really mean it and they expect me to at least seriously consider what they said. It happens rarely and carries serious weight.
2. My in-laws - a culture where you're showered with a constant stream of any advice they could think of at the moment, continuously, as a form of smalltalk.

I really had a problem to learn coping with the latter when raised in the former.

I can imagine

Magz, I will say that I always thought that "you should" meant that it was optional. I should do it and it is strongly recommended to me but it's not an absolute requirement. But, I've been told with employers to treat it as a priority and an absolute requirement when one says this.

I think it's the autism-unfriendly problem of context.
The same words ("you should" in this case) said by your boss mean something different when said by your friend.

Exactly why the word 'should' is overused by NTs.

They have stupid social rules that you 'should' stick to.

But nothing would happen if you stimmed except you'd look autistic.

This.

If something is popular the person will already have heard of it. Just say you're enjoying it.

If something is your own taste (like my cousin does) - say you liked it and why. If the person has similar tastes, they might like it but you can't assume. It's arrogant to assume everyone should like the same stuff as you.

If it's 'you as an individual' it's a compliment, whether wrong or right or not. Sometimes it will be met with 'I already saw that, it's good isn't it' - leads to a nice conversation, sometimes with the person coming back and saying 'I didn't like it' (or being too afraid to do so), sometimes with 'thank you for your recommendation it was great' and then the same converation as the first eg only months later.

One of my pet peeves is anti-intellectualism which tends to be a neurotypical trait from certain cultures.

I got bullied at school for being a 'swot' so that's probably where it comes from.

I guess that one is after my time.

What is a ..."swot"?

They called Babe Ruth "the Sultan of Swat". But I guess 'swot' is sumpin' else.

Someone who studies a lot. Swotting, studying. British English. Not a new word. I grew up with the word but I never was a swot.

Kinda equivalent to "nerd" I suppose?

Yeah except nerd is more of a compliment.

We owned (meaning, took over) that one haha.

Look, the fact is that some autistic people care a lot about the correct meaning of words and some autistic people tend to use long paragraphs and these tendencies tend to be found more in autistic people than those who aren't.

As long as the paragraphs are used correctly, there isn't a problem.

I have seen one actual wall of text on this site. It came from an NT.

Before Twitter, it was normal to read entire paragraphs. Simply in newspapers and magazines.

Do you not realize I'm autistic as well? And, I use long paragraphs as well.

Now, what you're not getting or understanding is who gets to define these "correct" meanings to these words including rude? Who gets to define what is considered rude?

There is a general trend among autistics that we have problems making eye contact. NTs in general expect this. They consider it rude if we don't. We have issues with eye contact or at least I do cause it's painful for me.

So, do I get a vote in what is considered rude? Where was I when the census was taken?

Rude and meanings and our terms are all arbitrary and are all defined by man and by civilization. So, do I as an individual get a vote in what is rude or not?

Even on wrongplanet I don't consider what I said to you as a personal attack. Yet, Magz does. How do the mods come to the decision as to what is a personal attack or not? How do they come to the idea that an attack on a person's behavior is a personal attack? What is rude on WP on not? Who defines it? And, do we get a vote in that even on here.

And, this is one of the reasons why I don't post as much like I used to. To much censorship and political correctness.

My impression is that no we don't. The mods rules including what is rude and a personal attack is arbitrary, open to their interpretation and subject to what they say it is.

And, you never answered my question. If you expect me to put myself in your shoes (this goes for anyone) can I expect others to do the same thing for me? If I can't then my interpretation is that it is rude because subjects me to double standards.

Of course there is anti-intellectualism from certain cultures. No doubt about that! But, one can use sophisticated vocabulary and use impeccable grammar and not know what in the hell they're talking about even though it sounds like they do. A true intellectual simply asks questions and asks why. They use critical thinking. My classes in China have students in which they are ESL (English as a Second Language).

Again, who gets to define what is rude, what is intelligence, etc?

Technically, they have poor English grammar yet once I get passed all of that they can have intelligent responses to some of my questions.

It is an NT nonliteral thing. Most of the time "You should watch this" is just a suggestion with no bullying implied. It usually means that based on knowledge of you the suggester thinks you would be interested in what is being recommended.