Sexual Assault by Another Person w/ an ASD Dx

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IMO the concept of psychopathy is not exactly simple enough to put into primary and secondary.

If you look at the actual research, especially how it plays out in females, the “two factor” approach is not the whole story.

And psychopaths do actually seem to have feelings.

And IMO, not all are abusive but most are so again, even with me I would be careful.

BTW, here is some info on things from childhood that may predict violence in adults in regards to psychopathy: https://psychology.wikia.org/wiki/MacDonald_triad

I displayed none of those.

I knew that triad. I arguably checked two I played with fire and wetted my bed.
Guess what? I'm not a serial killer material.

Well you probably also did not have issues with empathy in the way psychopaths (at any level) do.

It’s not a 100% thing.

I have issues with empathy typical for ASD. I don't get the more subtle ways of expressing feelings and I struggle with "appropriate" and convincing ways of expressing that I care.

I have cognitive empathy but IDK about emotional.

I am able to express that I care when I am not super stressed.

At which point it becomes sexual assault? sexual harassment isn't?

OMG...can you google the definitions...like on an emotional topic like this I need to explain it?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washin ... utType=amp

Having the experience of both: being pointed out as a sexual harasser (people misinterepting and/or not caring about intention) and having had being harassed myself, I bring this up. In which case, I was groped so, according to your source, it was assault.

Ok?

Ok, so I have been thinking about this and in most cases with things like sexual assault and harassment the victim/survivor is not likely to care that much about your intentions and if you knew it was wrong or not.

And to me after someone experiences trauma like that it’s unfair to expect them to take your perspective into account just because being violated in that way (especially with sexual assault but also harassment) changes people.

And the ways it can change people are very vast so it’s hard to say what is normal or not.

In my situation, with males (and some females) who have ASD it’s almost terrifying for me sometimes how they seem to be oblivious to the line.

When someone says to stop something at times they won’t stop.

And I understand that often they do not understand. But that is also scary to me because of my past experiences.

And maybe it is unfair but life is not fair and I don’t have to allow anyone to make me uncomfortable for any reason. Baring a few circumstances, those mostly deal with police and Doctors tho in an official capacity. Not people off this site.

And I fully expect someone to try and find some exception. But I will shoot it down.

Maybe because I am male is easier for me to make that distinction, perhaps? I was harassed in 2017 at work by other men and their intentions were very, very obvious, there was no place for anything being an accident or anything like that, I have experienced accidents before, whether someone hits me accidently and bumping into me where an intimate area is touched, but knowing is accidental I had zero problem and all fine. I do have a bigger issue when I know things were intentional.


I understand it, and this is more about not being unfair to the other end regarding legal responsability and social ostracism (which is scary for me to go through something similar again) rather than expecting the one experiencing this to understand it, because I agree, they shouldn't, is pretty much for the rest.


After a traumatic experience, yes, it's very hard. I have social anxiety and OCD and after experienced bullying at school (a part from physical abuse, false rumors that lead to more physical abuse <- you see where I'm coming from) and sexual harassment at work, I pretty much understand this. I do have these issues: when people talk about the 90's and how good it was, it wasn't for me and when someone talks about 2017, I get triggered. Still, l want to believe in people, I do want to trust people even though I have problems interacting with them, I try to set my mind in this mode of some sort of positvity or hope in humanity or else I feel I would fall into deep depression, and I don't want that.


Saying STOP, is a crystal clear message, their at fault if they keep at it. And is better to say STOP than to say nothing and expect other people, specially those on the spectrum to read your mind, some ASD who can't read facial expresions and don't understand social cues, should be able to understand a clear NO and a clear STOP. At this point, I agree there is no excuse.


Obvious.

People are going to ostracize you if you do things like sexually assault or harass people.

Or view and/or download child porn.

And there is a reason for that.

And that is not changing because you were bullied in school. So was I.

I know of adults who pass on all the trauma from their childhood on to everyone else they can. All diagnoses and mental conditions.

The fact is, no one really gives a crap about people who sexually assault and rape people. Or harass them.

Like I have said before, it is very hard for me to talk on sites with other autistic/aspergers people because it seems like most of you expect the world to cater to you in all cases.

And in some cases you have to protest a lot. But a lot of you do it all the time. And that gets old.

A lot of you also ask very basic questions without even bothering to research on threads where people are discussing very emotional topics. Or at least that’s my experience.

We can’t make anything like public policy because you (for example) are scared of being shunned for abusing someone.

And there is not going to be anything special for anyone if they go somewhere like prison unless they truly have an extreme mental condition. And then they are confined or otherwise watched until they are no longer deemed a danger to themselves or others (mostly others). And this can be for longer than the jail sentence is.

What would you say is an appropriate reaction to someone sexually assaulting someone?

It’s so highly annoying when autistic people ask for special things at every second.

Sometimes it’s ok, but not always and for some reason I have issues with running into people with ASD not understanding this at all.

And when it leads to them hurting people they don’t understand it and if they at some point do they want way too many special concessions.

This is NOT the point I was making, being ostracized while being innocent is my point, given that you said something such as "life is not fair"
For people who are actually guilty of these things, I couldn't agree more.


Also agree.


Of course there is.


Again, this is not the point. The bullying and sexual harassment were to let you know that I understand because of being through related things, traumatic experiences, so you can see I'm not someone who doesn't know, granted, sexual assault but not to the point of actual rape.


Yes and I have real issues with people like that, I tend to not care why a perpetrator does what it does, "taking your frustrations out on someone else" always pisses me off.


Again, that isn't my point, my point is the distinction between people who comit the crime and the people who don't.


Because they have their own issues just like we do?


That's the internet and everyone has different experiences.


Now that you bring this up, I'm not scared being shunned for abusing someone, not at all. I'm scared being shunned for NOT abusing someone. And I have been sexually harassed and assaulted (groped) too, a man from other men, I did mention this before.


It's not an excuse at all but how many people get excited with facing the consequences of their actions?


In the previous post I said there is no excuse after saying NO and saying STOP, if someone keeps at it, it's very clear what is happening, and from there I'm on your side in the argument.

I think I was clear that I agreed with you on many things and being on your side and all and yet you seem to think, based on this response, that I am a sex predator complaining because of getting caught.

Given that this is The Haven, I understand this is really a sensitive thing to talk about, after seeing more clearly the difference between sexual harassment and sexual assault and that harassment is not assault, if I get it right (I never reported anything so that explains it) I'll leave it there and good luck with everything.

What exactly would you like society to do about the issue of an innocent person being accused of sexual assault and/or harassment exactly?

Like, what is your solution?

It is unfair and it hurt the person wrongfully accused but if we disbelieve the victim that also causes issues.