Do people still like me? Not asking for help, just reassure

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I really wish moving was something I could easily do within a week and didn’t involve the millstones of my life interfering.

They generally are. When I used to go to the gym, it was always top 40 playing on the radio.

I don’t understand how this song could be considered “noise”, “Satanic”, and “gay”:

I feel like, sometimes, people will say "the Beatles suck" because there are many people who have a very high regard for them.

It's almost as if they're pulling for the underdog---and they feel that the Beatles have a swelled head, and need to be taken down a notch.

The reason I said it back then is because I never heard the more psychedelic songs they made later on. Then I was blown away when I heard Because and Across the universe and strawberry fields etc.

Last edited by Sarahsmith on 20 Apr 2021, 6:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

a) How do you know it makes them think you are weird? I can't imagine that library patrons walk up to clerks and say "I'd like these books please. By the way .... you're weird ... because I can tell what type of music you listen to by looking at you in your work attire, scanning materials". (Sorry I don't mean to sound sarcastic with that, but honestly? How would this conversation take place?)

b) It seems like you're judging some of the women on appearance, the same way you think they judge you. For example, I love OZZY. I love hard rock. I also love libraries. People would have no idea of my personality at the circulation desk, based on my appearance, my book selections, or my behaviour. I probably wouldn't make eye contact with you, not because I think you're weird but because I'm autistic and I don't make eye contact. It's likely you'd think I was a snob. Then you would see my book selections of 18th and 19th literature, literary theory, and literary biographies of women from the 1800s. Maybe I'd get some books on crochet, needlepoint, or medical science. Possibly a juicy romance if I were going on holiday.

I'd likely be wearing a dress, or something conservative even though I do own lots of rock concert tshirts, torn jeans, and my favourite shoes are my "concert Converse" that I've worn to every music concert since 1982. If this was a few years ago I might even be getting books for my kids, or kids' videos, or kids' music CDs. You wouldn't know I'm a single mother or that I'm a very contradictory personality. I like hard rock, guitar, fast cars, "bad boys", and having fun as much as I like knitting, reading literature that appears "prim", and hanging out in libraries with my daughter.

I guess my point is that you can't judge a book by its cover, literally.

Even if all of the women in your area do have very different interests, and even if they do think you're "weird" (that's doubtful), I hope you are planning to contact the resources that Mona, Bea, and AA have given you for lifestyle support about moving away from your small town. I'm sure in Austin there are lots of women who like what you describe. That's why Austin attracts big-name rock bands and has so many concert festivals that you'd like to attend. It's not that far away from you, and I think you need to reach out toward those women more than in your current community. Even on speed dating you kept saying you wanted to meet people very close to your home. That seems counterproductive. Check out Austin, and please remember that a lot of people can't be judged on first appearances.

I think well-adjusted individuals are more concerned about how they treat others over concerns over how others see them. Well-adjusted people don't care much for it.

The answer to the question is, it doesn't matter.

I can understand people who are concerned about what people think of them.

I'm concerned about what people think of me.

But it's not the "be-all, end-all." There will always be somebody who dislikes you....and there's usually not too good of a reason why. This is why I disregard most people who express a dislike for me....since these people almost always don't know me well enough to dislike me.

In other words, it's on THEM, not ME.

They’ll make comments such as “I don’t like science fiction. It’s weird.” if I mention liking it or if they ask me what I like reading, sometimes even out of the blue when I haven’t mentioned anything or they haven’t asked me.



Please hear me out. I don’t live in a small town. I actually live in a city that has a population of 74, 762. It’s just a very Walmart and McDonald’s type city. It’s not a rural place but if you are looking for counterculture, it won’t be there. I have been to music shows in Austin so I know there are women who like the same music I do but they usually have boyfriends with them at the shows and even if I can talk with them, the conversations don’t last long. Some have even given me the rough look when I’ve attempted to engage them and even stormed away from me while saying “I am leaving.” or something. The app you recommended to me was actually based in Austin and I was willing to make the drive there. I’ve also attempted to reach out to Austin women through other dating apps and even a dating agency that turned me away because of my income level. It’s not that I haven’t reached out to women there, I have but I still fail to make lasting connections. Even one I friended on Facebook didn’t want to talk to me even though she seemed to like me. I was very disappointed, hurt even.

Last edited by Marknis on 20 Apr 2021, 7:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

One of my detractors thinks I shouldn’t even have anyone reply to me as if it’s a bad thing for people to like me and try to help me.

Will you get fired if you take a vacation day to go talk to the museum person? If you won't get fired over it, I say do it. It sounds very important....

That sounds like a problem for them not for you because clearly other people disagree, like you and try to help.
Being aware that someone feels negatively towards you doesn't mean you need to invest in it.

"Hi Boss. I applied for a volunteer position at the local museum so I could contribute more to the community. This was before you changed my hours. They'd like to meet with me briefly on _______. Would it be possible to reschedule my shift for that (half day) so I can take advantage of this opportunity?"

Easy peasy.

I found out a moment ago she replied to my message about it.

So far five people have voted for me to stay and two want me to go.

My mind likes to tell me stupid untrue things too and I have to try to tell it to shut up! It's really cool that you can play a Black Flag song


No way, my Converse always seem to wear out in a few years. They mustn't make them as tough as they used to!

I talked to my supervisor and fortunately she was fine with it.

What are you implying?

I was feeling worse yesterday than I do today. However, I honestly have become burned out being here.