Dating apps/websites - how to target girls with autism?

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^ Umm... She's not what we would call a Karen.

I have discussed in-depth the issues that I have with the content of the OP apart from the vocabulary. The man in question should not be pursuing autistic women since he does not believe he has autism and has not been diagnosed.

Maybe he could look for introverts or people who have common interests instead.

Like I said earlier, he seems to get dates but they lose interest. I guess a certain type of autistic woman might be good for him, but I wouldn't look at that as the solution for his problems. Really not enough info to say just what he should do.

OTOH the OP is an autistic woman so maybe she has a good reason for thinking that's a good idea.

If she has a good reason, she hasn't stated it yet. As an autistic woman, I think it's a very bad idea.

Looking for women he has things in common with might be a good strategy, though.

Why waste his time on dating sites when he can talk to women instead? He could watch some pick up artist videos and give it a go. He will learn more from approaching instead of wasting time on dating apps. 80% of dating profiles are male, only 20% of dating profiles are female.

H'mm.

It's my turn to be a little disturbed by this post, as in how... blunt these posts in response sometimes are. I hope everyone is rolling with the punches . As an autistic person myself, I think I confront the idea, not the person. (Though my non-autistic husband may beg to differ )

Yeah, I should clear up that I probably shouldn't have used the word 'target' in my title. I just couldn't think of an alternative term. I think it's acceptable to narrow your search to a certain type of people in dating. If that's perceived as targeting, then so be it. No, of course Alan may happily end up with an NT female (notice what I did there? ) eventually. But to my knowledge, he's never tried focusing on those with ASD. So I guess I'm trying to think outside the box, given the current success rate

I should mention that he isn't opposed to dating an ASD female, just that he's uncomfortable with the idea that he himself may be autistic. When I suggested considering ASD females to him a while back, he said words to the effect of, how would he even be able to find one? So that possibility is not off the table. And my guess is that ASD peeps are the most likely to appreciate his knowledgeability and quirks. Hence my original question to you folks

And he's not a predator in any way that I can see. Any possible perception of that may be due to my clumsy choice of words.


Thanks again

FWIW, I was a linguistics major and to my knowledge, 'girl' can be interchangeable with female. I'm happy to call someone the age of my grandma a girl. And I don't think she'd mind . I suspect the unease was due to that word's combination with 'target'. You may disagree, but I really do suspect I come from a more innocent time and place...

If he limits his search to one demographic, he could miss out on the right person. Women on the spectrum are quite diverse. We tend to like different things, so he might not be more likely to hit it off with us than other women, anyway.

He could be more specific about his interests in his profile if he’s not already.

Recently, if you misspeak in any way regarding gender issues, you will get called out. This is a recent trend. The reason given for this is that previously, people were experiencing misogyny, transphobia, etc. and leaving because they thought WP would be a safe space and learned otherwise.

Anyway, if I understand correctly, your friend is getting dates but the women lose interest. I would need more detail before having any idea what he should do.

That's partly true. People did leave because of sexism but the reason for the "new trend" is because the rules are being enforced to protect everyone. It's not because of any new political motivation or a desire to be pedantic.

I never said that the OP needed to apologize. If people read back through this thread, they will see that I’ve discussed the content of posts, not the person.

Language was just one concern in an overall concerning thread.

Seeking autistic women specifically on apps and websites is a bad idea. It seems predatory. If he happens to meet one, that’s fine. Trying to seek one is something else. Every person is different. Every person with autism is different.

If he’s turning people off due to bluntness, going off on long tangents about special interests, or whatever else, he could work on those things. He could also tweak his dating profile to appeal to women with similar interests and tastes. These sorts of things could help his chances with women whether they are neurodiverse or not.

Even if a person specifically tries to date a particular demographic, i.e, women with autism, it doesn't mean they will have any success in doing so.

I think the creep factor would be more reliant upon the methods by which a person goes after autistic women and their sensitivity to the autistic women in question.

You can search google, and find all sorts of tips about dating an autistic girl/woman/female/dame/whatever, but nothing about how to "target" one in the first place, as far as I could tell. Meeting one by chance in public might be difficult, especially if both parties are avoiding eye contact.

Dating Apps work where 10% of men get all the women. 90% of men get no women. They are an extremely frustrating place for most men. There are fewer opportunities for men to meet women in today's society. There is no real solutions to the male loneliness epidemic.