Over 30's thread.

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And I thought it was just me that felt that way... :D It has been tough, especially while going through a divorce and job change. Talk about not being able to see any bright side of the world. But things are getting better. Working with a men's group to get through some of the stuff and some jobs are on the front. The worst part is the family. They just do not understand it and think that medication will just cure it.

But the key thing for me right now is that I focus on finding what I want and need and getting my life in order for me.

Agreed. It becomes easier to find acceptance as you get older. People stare a lot less.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! !

oh gods - what a DREADFUL thought!

on a serious note (if i can expunge that horror from my head for a moment...)

the mature forum is for content which is unsuitable for minors. i personally think that "mature aspie" issues which do not include such content might be better in the open forums, especially if people can't access stuff all the time.

however, it's not a big deal either way, insofar as moving the thread is concerned - i'll go with the consensus of opinion here, as soon as people let me know. i feel a poll coming on...

i also relish being older (i'm a capricorn - we all get better with age ). for a start, i'm now old enough to be officially eccentric. (not that age ever stopped me before, you understand...).

Vivi
(Partly as Mod, and partly as herself)

For several reasons I will never be able to be anonymous, not the least of them the social inablity. I live large. If I can't hide, why bother?

So I dress as I like, I drive a 30+ yeat old two tone VW, I wear "and make" odd jewelry. Indeed, anything that works my wheels.

When I am old I shall wear purple. Well I'm a little younger than the poem intended, but no family anymore, no children. I just don't see the charm in 'acting my age" or restricting my fun. I'm just sorry it took me so long to realise it.

Tek,

Have you considered selling your "odd jewelry" on line? How cool it would be to have something made by some one who drives such a cool car!

I'm living in a Winnebago just now, No shop access.

This thread really needs to be kept going.

My experience of being an older Aspie is that you do eventually come to understand people and realise what was wrong years ago. That's not what the text books say. They say you don't grow out of it, but curiously only children have yet been studied.

I feel I should write it all down, looking back on my disastrous early years with my new-found understanding. I guess lots of people feel that. Even so, I reckon I could write something more interesting than some of the books that have been written.

I find I have learned how to cope with a lot but that other things have gotten harder. This is really because I am launching out into social situations more often.

Y

PS. Yes this thread does need to continue.

EDIT

Last edited by eamonn on 06 Oct 2005, 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

and the point of the link is, eamonn...?

the youth of today, eh? tut.

I'm 30 years old and strangely, I don't feel any older than I did when I was 20. I'm this weird mixture of little kid and wise old woman so I don't even think about my age accept when I'm filling out forms or someone askes me. I play as much, if not more, with toys and games now as I did when younger and I get excited over little things like seeing a butterfly or getting ice cream and cake.

Maybe this is the "aspie" part of me, but I've noticed that people tend to be ashamed of being thirty and older and I've always wondered why it's so shameful to be older if everyone wants to live a long-long life. When I recently got my first gray hair, my mom gave me tips on how to cover it up. But why would I want to cover it? I see that strand like a 13 year-old boy sees his first facial hair. I'm proud to have made it to thirty and I earned all my gray hairs.

I know one thing. I would never want to go back to being younger. I love my freedom and don't want others making decisions for me. I've also gotten to the age where social interaction is becoming easier for me now that I've had so much experience finding out what works and to not take myself so seriously. If people think of me as incapable just because of my AS, that's their unwillingness to get to know me, not an indication of who I am.

I'm back in college for the first time in a decade and a half. I am twice the age of the freshmen. Heck, I'm older than one of my professors. They've had more life experiences than I have had. Lets see. I never had a job. Lived off my parents. Never had a good friend since perhaps grade school. I look so freaking odd. I walk around campus with this perpetual smile on my face, hoping no one will call nasty name ,which happened frequently last time I was on campus 14 years ago. Familiarity breeds contempt. Already, after only 3 days of class, I can see people glaring at me. I wonder how long it will be before someone will yell at me. I have to constantly remind myself not to talk to anyone. If I do, then they will find a reason to ridicule or reject me.

ahhh yes, but as long as you remain 'unknown' to them, they will fill in the blanks themselves with all sorts of uncomplimentary ideas.

That is the truth. As a 35 year old Aspie and trying to explain to my 10 year old Aspie son the effects of school. He is mainstreamed and is just getting totally bullied and picked on. The names he tells me that he gets called bring back so many bad memories of my own school days.

I so want to take him away from it all, but that is not the answer. After getting through his anxiety over the situations, we can have a good talk, but it is just painful to relieve those memories through him again. I can only help that my suggestions and 25 years of extra life wll help him.

I am 42 and it been one h*ll of a life.

I'm 30 and impossibly lucky enough to be married to someone who understands my peculiarities.
With her insight and honesty I've come to understand myself so well, in ways I just couldn't appreciate when I was a teenager/early 20s on my own.

Here's to old age and hard earnt wisdom!

I can't wait to get to 60 and see what I will know then that is incomprehensible now. Shame I won't be able to do that and retain this usefully young body shell!

I guess one of the things us over 30s share is a distinct lack of formal dx, especially whilst still at school when it may have helped matters. I wish AS had been recognised and understood earlier.
I've been misdiagnosed with all kinds since I first started interacting with others, I hope that problem of wrong dx is less common today than it was in the 1970s.

On a related point, for those of us who are too old to have been dx at school, how on earth did you find out about AS? I'm certain that without the help of a brutally honest and patient NT partner, I would never have the external insight on my behaviour in order to make a self-dx.