I feel violated...why did he do that??

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I worry about things like this because it seemed important to mention that he was Black and gay. I am a Black man and people treat me as if this type of behavior is expected.

To me it doesn't matter what he looked like, except that he was big.

Everyone is right. As a big man, he should have known better. What he did was premeditated and he should have adult, legal consequences.

In Massachusetts he would be in lockup right now.
I hope you file criminal charges against him.
And I hope no one takes away from this forum the idea that this is something common to Black or gay men. If this were an anarchistic society I would kill him. However, if this were an anarchistic society someone would have killed me out of fear so I wouldn't even be here responding....

I really don't care that he's black. or gay. I just thought I should mention, because i'm a girl and such. I would ahve said white or brown if he was one of those. anyways. Today I had to go to the assistant principals office. she asked me tons of questions and a police man was there. she asked me if He had done it to anyone else, and I told her I only new about him doing it to me, and a male friend of mine. she asked me how he did it and it seemed to her that him coming from behind wasn't as bad as if he came in front, and nbecause his hands were covering my boobs from the sides and stuff. it was, I couldn't move that much. my friedn said he couldn't move when it was done to him either. I felt really bad and I didn't want to say anything too personal in front of the policeman. she had me show how he did it too. and then she demonstrated on her self, which was gross. she said they would talk to him and tell him it wasn't ok. she asked if we wanted to take further action. I wasn't really sure. so at lunch he starts yelling at me and stuff. I completely ignored him. and he tried to make ME feel bad by saying " I thought we were friends! friends don't tell policemen!" and other such garbage. so I was talking to my friend about it after lunch on the way to class and another girl heard his name and said "Isn't he that guy who always grabs my boobs!?" I was like "what???" and she told me he grabs her boobs and says things about them like "their so perky!" and he always trys to touch them. I told her to tell the principal, and she refused. she said she wanted to Kick his @ss on her own. Both me her and my male friend feel degraded. and then in the last period the teacher changed him from being my friends lab partner because he wasn't working well with him. and he got a referal and had to go to the principals office ( the slip was orange so you could tell) and he never came back. so I think he's in BIG trouble. I feel sick. did I do soemthing wrong, to make him do this? he said he was playing, but I think he took advantage of me. my other gay friend NEVER does this.

You absolutly did nothing to cause his behavior. This is a common reaction and one that is not healthy. You need to know you were taken advantage of (especially since you were not the only one) and you should not feel any guilt for what happened to you. You have done everything correctly. Is anyone getting you any counseling for what you experianced. You are having the reactions of a sexually assulted person and you need help to get through your reactions.

Trust me I know

Y

I'm not sure I need counseling right at the moment. I've been talking with my friends about it, and it helps a bit.

we were in that position before, with him behind me, nd my hands behind my back, because we were playing but at that time he did dancey things with his hands not this! I still feel really sad. and I don't want to go to school tomorrow in case I have to talk to the assistant principal ( who is a really scary lady, who is more man like than lady like.)

don't worry, you did nothing wrong. He is the one who needs to change his behavior.

You should not go to school without an advocate if you are afraid. Most states have rape counseling services that deal with issues like this and can provide you with an advocate. If you have to meet with someone scary, have it written down somewhere that you need someone NOT scary to speak with. Do not speak with anyone scary. If there is no telephone number for such a service in your phone book call the local crisis service or hospital.
Yes you need counseling because something either in society or your environment is making you feel bad about doing the right thing. You need someone who can tell you consistently that you did nothing wrong, and that you are doing the right thing now. This needs to be someone relatively objective so you know they are not influenced by anything other than a commitment to help you.
As far as this so-called friend is concerned, he should have apologized immediately when you were offended. The fact that he responds with anger means that he has no concept that he has done something wrong. If he is old enough to know what he is doing, he is old enough to know better. As stupid as I am about social interaction, I know better than to touch someone in a sexual way. If he has abuse issues that he is acting out, he is still responsible for his behavior.
And your only responsibility is to put a meaning on this experience that lets you let go of it and get on with your life. Counseling will help with that.
FYI, most of this comes from my experience as a psychologist and as a domestic violence and rape counselor.
Finally, think about this: yesterday there were two of you who felt offended by this guy. How many more will there be now that you have exposed it? I think you are going to get a lot more support than opposition about this. This guy is not worth the investment of friendship, but it may be that through this experience, you will find out who is worth the investment.

YOU ARE VERY BRAVE. I SALUTE YOU.

I'm not so much as afraid as worried. but, I really just want to go to school and ignore this. I want to get things back to normal.

as yealc said, shadesofme - what you're experiencing is common to people who have been sexually abused/assaulted. don't let him win, hon - you have done NOTHING wrong.

and we're all here for you - look at how many people are responding to you on this thread, and supporting you.

it IS hard to do this - i know myself. hang on in there, hon!

No matter what the school says, if they say you're exaggerating or some nonsense like that, don't believe that. I've been there.

Don't let them think that everything is taken care of if it is not.

Don't let them claim you never reported anything.

Don't let them make you feel stupid, or like you caused it.

These things commonly happen in schools. If nothing is taken care of, don't be afraid to go to the police. You have every right to justice. So far, it sounds like things are going pretty good in terms of reporting it, but it's still good to keep these things in mind.

Maybe it's just the group of slightly-flamboyant gay guys I hang out with sometimes-- and the lesbians there, too-- but they are a particularly touchy-feely group and, even though I am in the adult range, they have grabbed my breasts. But I believe it is the situation because it is humorous and I have no inhibitions of twisting their nipples right back And they also know that I find it funny and do not feel violated by it. If they did see that I felt that way, they would refrain.

But the thing is is that it violated YOU and it wasn't okay with YOU and he isn't sorry for it, gay or not. Plus, you are still very young (lol, like I'm not). But the group that I have occasioned to hang out with is very liberal, open, and put little more importance on a breast as on an arm. Which is my view as well and why it doesn't bother me.

But this isn't me. It's you. And he needs to be seriously censured.