Asperger's doesn't really seem to fit...

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My stepson didn't speak until 4 and a half. He's math disabled which basically means math is horribly hard for him. He is very verbal. He can remember details really well. He usually doesn't remember what he needs to remember but if something catches his interest he'll remember every little detail. He's social, tries to be anyhow. Anyhow, he was Dx with NVLD. It's the oddball because it can't seem to find a home in the DSM even though it seems to be on the spectrum.

Tubbs, one thing I was going to suggest was to see if your son could, on occasion, be exposed to an environment where his differences are held in high regard.

I was going to ask you if your therapist could recommend a good social group for your son; either through his/her practice or in conjunction with another therapist. We held off on doing this for a long time because when our DD (who is now 10) was younger, she didn't really have a hyperfocus that she thought she could share or was willing to share. Now that she is older, she has discovered drawing and other fine arts projects. Our cognitive behavior therapist recommended a "playdate" with a 14-year old girl who has the same interests (to a "T"!) as our DD and they hit it off right away! Both of them spent the 3 hours(!) they were together drawing, comparing sketching techniques and telling each other fanfic. I would check on them occasionally (more to bring drinks/snacks) and it was clear that I was the "odd one out!" I think being part of something is a matter of perspective, and perhaps your son is feeling a little left out because perhaps his interests are not what his schoolmates have.

Similarly, when our family had to take our pet bird to the avian vet, I had my DD come along (it counts as "science" for her home-school program). She and the vet were just riffing off one another; bird thoughts and facts flying back and forth! When my DD expressed an interest in becoming an avian vet (a sub-specialty), the vet told her he hoped she would because society needed more people who were detailed-oriented specialists that cared for creatures. I think I practically cried right there. We know our children have some pretty amazing talents and it was nice that a professional in the community reached out and told DD that the world needed more of her!

As kids are older and understand their diagnosis, I think it's important to show them the positive aspects. Differences are good! I tell my DD that it's not all "we need to fix this", but more "how can we alleviate some of the stress you are under so you can blossom."

Also, there was some discussion of Cogmed in the post "Neurofeedback". If you have questions, you can PM me...we had some positive results, but it really depends on the therapist and the child too. And the recommended reading sticky has lots of recommendations for executive function help. We liked the "Smart but Scattered" book by Dawson, Guare.

Audball, thanks for your input. (I've just commented on our experiences with COGMED on the other thread!)

My son actually doesn't have special interests as such. Well, he kind of does, but they're the same as every other teenage boy, so they don't stand out - video games, graphic novels, movies - and they're interests, rather than obsessions, and he doesn't feel the need to talk about them at length so it's not that which make him awkward. Really it's the particular way he expresses himself at times. He'll suddenly start talking in a 'lecture' type tone, and use odd words and wrap what he wants to say in all sorts of convuluted language. I can't believe we've never really paid much attention to it before, but now it's been pointed out I can see when he does it SO clearly. Actually at dinner last night we were all chatting away, and he took a breath before starting what I could see was going to be one of his 'two sentence lectures'. I said to him "Think about what you were about to say, and say it in the simplest way you can". He was a bit stuck for a second, but then did, at the same time as trying to get in some of the other stuff he would have said if I hadn't caught him.

I do believe he can get help for this, and that as long as we coach him on it on a daily basis, he can learn.

^ Tubbs, it sounds like you know exactly how to get him to practice! And family dinner is a great way to practice social conversation -since typically everyone takes turns. Another exercise DD used to have to do was offer one sentence that contributed to the conversation and then one more that invited further discussion- it could be an "open" question (no "yes" or "no" answers) or comment. For some kids with ASD, this is really difficult! But most rise to the challenge because their vocabularies are so good and they treat it a little like a game...no elaborating when you only get two sentences to keep the conversation going!