Starship WrongPlanet: The Bigfoot adventure! 6/19/05'

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Vrrrrrrrmmmmmminggg! and some scoffling
sound in the snow, the peguins move away,
Hmmmmm? apparently aware of her tranquilizer
gun????? Hmmm?

She looks in the cave and there is Mr.Ghosthunter,
a hagrid-looking Monastic and the Scots guy(looking
quite perplexed by so many penguins)

Careful! Pyraxis! Our communicators get jammed
by the penguins! A swarm of penguins go around
her as Monastic sleepily talks in his sleep!
"OooooooH! Noooooo! Not again! how much <censor>
do you need to satisfy you, can't you find someone
Bigger to quinsh you thirst? Oohhh! Ooooh!
and passes out!

I have come to you with the Boot CD of salvation. It is called... WINDOWS. It shall save you from the lustful Linux penguins who now overrun your ship. However, you will have to update your ship every week and scan for onboard viruses.

May the Bill Gates be with you...

As the penguins rehoard, and Lt.Commander
Pyraxis is stunning them for the communicators to
work a hoard of Big Foot start munching on the
stunned penguins(AWee! Sad! how could they
) and bits and pieces
of microsoft data start disappating the air frequency
interference, and the evil Emperor appears in
a hologramQ!

"Whom it be destroying my copyrighted penguin
data?"

As the Evil Emperor of the dark force looks upon
the crew in cave!

His eye's a glow, and appears a lawyerly, looking
Big Foot with monocoles and a brief case.....
Hmmmmph! Hmmmmph! Abusing a Big Foot?
Violating Penguin programming laws? Hmmmm?
Tsk! Tsk! I thought my programmers who programmed
your computer on your ship would have good sense
not to infect your computer with the "Penguin
Virus", Hmmmmm? Ok! I will( as he pulls out a
remote control device) have you all beamed on
your ship, that has our copyrighted programming
and we will de-"penguinize" your crew and
computer! That should do the trick!
Vrrrrrmmmmmmmmm! and Lt.Commander(who
discovered, unbeknown to the lawyerly Big Foot
a anti-Virus program for this penguin virus),
Science Officer Mr.Ghosthunter, and Mr.Prometheous,
and Doctor Sarcastic_ Name are beamed back
on their ship!

The Evil Emperor "Bill Gates" looks at the lawyer
and say's "Bah! Hum! Bug!" and dissappears.

"Ach. Whisky makes a good cure for Penguins."

Monastic wakes up in sick bay. Peering out through one barely opened eye she surveys the room and spies the Doctor. The lean bearded fellow has such a warm striking smile Monastic swears any woman would succumb to his wishes.

She tries to get up but suddenly, a knife-like pain runs straight through her head. Wincing a bit as she lays her head back down on the cool cot she thanks her lucky stars for the hang-over. The headache helps her to realize she is coming out of a drunken stupor – the pain is a pleasant reminder that she is the one in control and not The Other.

Monastic remembers the last time she was drunk and shudders at the thought. The last time she had a drink (it doesn’t take much for “her kind” to become intoxicated) she was taken over by “The Other” and all kinds of havoc occurred. As long as Monastic keeps control over her Inner-Evil Twin bad things don’t happen.

The hung-over Monastic remembers back to her childhood and the planet she came from. Her planet, Contra-Illion, sits in the middle of a small star cluster, 2 star systems and 4 light years away. On Contra-Illion, everyone is born with an Inner Twin and at some point (usually during puberty) a battle occurs. One twin must over-come the other and become the dominate one. Only one twin must reign, the only other alternative is to go stark raving mad.

Monastic was the winner of this battle at the young age of 10, but her Evil Twin is still very persistent and still wishes to be in charge. Most times, Monastic has been able to keep The Other in a sleeping state….except for when she partakes of alcohol. The numbing effect of alcohol does something to counteract her will and then The Other is able to dominate the body – but not this time, thank goodness.

Monastic, at age 20 chose her own name (of Monastic) to denounce The Other’s presence. She wishes she could be rid of her completely although secretly, the thought of being totally alone without the sleeping inner presence, somewhat troubles her mind to think about.

Presently, all is well even though the pain in her head is throbbing wildly. Monastic closes her eyes once again. Suddenly she has a Vision of a Cuban with his hair on fire…screaming & running madly down a dirt path. Also in the vision, there seems to be an Emperor named Gates, with glowing eyes among hordes of penguins. Monastic’s kind is known to be able to see things happening in other times and places, but this makes no sense at all. Shaking her head to dispel this vision, Monastic turns over and tries to sleep amid the muffled shouts and flapping sounds.

pssstt! FYI ... Monastic = All Female

(Sorry for any gender confusion. I usually don't talk about my gender for the fact that I wish people to judge me for me and not whether I'm male or female.)

Civet beams onto the ship in her return from MIA-status, due to the wretched Comcastians and their squirrel-followers, who sabotaged her communication device earlier in the week.

"Um...? What's going on?"

She says, supposing perhaps she should have watched more Star Trek before getting involved in such a venture. Ah, but there are penguins! Now she can pretend she's stuck in an Evangelion cross-over fanfiction and everything will be fine...

The Captain is conscious! If a little pished. What happened? Why does my head hurt so much? And where did all this hair come from???

*Notices the evil Emperor Gates lurking around trying to sneak back in*
One good whisky belch should sort you out.... (gets cig lighter out) *burrrp*WHOOOF!! !! !

Yay! Look crew! The penguins are rallying and chasing the burning Gates off the ship! Lets get out of here while the penguins are occupied!

(Incidentally where has the Bigfoot gone?)

Civet!

MaGawd, this has been soooo much fun. I haven't laughed like this in a while. Everyone is so creative I can't wait until the sequel (or perhaps the prequel?) either way I just can't wait.

Yay!!

hmmm. . . . .I never had trouble realizing that you were female. I wonder why I can pick up on that? Is it something in the way we write?

Even your evil twin?

Ha Ha I guess I didn't make that very clear at all, did I? I think I smell brand new fall episodes of Starship WP brewing

I say thankyou everyone for making this a
great adventure. I am amazed by your creativity
and this author is still waiting for the comic
version.

Here are some merits!

To Monastic, you make a terrific and expressive
actress! Ever take acting?

To Prometheus......Thanks for being a willing
sex slave for this adventure! Any words about
this sexual phenomenon you experienced.
and welcome aboard the ship!

To Pryaxis.....Thanks for your "Bravery" and
terrific solution ideas! I am impressed!

To Sophist.....You a genius! I was writing all this
by response and ear and was waiting for a spontaneous
villian by someones clues! I say thanks for
helping me in my writing spontanity and finding
a good villian!

To Civet, Dunctvis....I am glad you were here
and as usual Captain! how is your day!

To LowFreq.... to whom wasn't available to
play the ships computer! I hope you didn't
dislike my take on you and I think you
would my parady of you was fun!

Peter from Scotland! I think you would
be a good member of the crew! Hmmmm?

To Blackliger....You would give Scotty
of the Original series a run for his $'s

I am impressed by all your performances and
this writer(Mr.Ghosthunter) need time to gather
future story details! Hmmmmm! WooooW!

TERRIFIC JOB, AND do you guys have any
comments about your roles!

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

No, but I did pretend to be Neurotypical for a good chunk of my life....does that count?

Thanks Ghosthunter, for all the fun.

Is this episode over, or can we continue?....I'm finally understanding what's going on. GH, you're writing style is slowly making more sense every time I read it. It's like looking at Algebra for the first time. You're first thought is "WTF?!Letters in MATH???! !!", but after further investigation it starts making sense.