Just need to ramble

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Thank you, Jakki.

I think there are genuine concerns about perceived naivety that I seem to have, and they use my autism as an excuse for those concerns, but I really think it's from the issues in my family and not being allowed to be independent. I am very used to being taken advantage of by family members and being convinced to not voice my concerns about things, so that puts me in a place where I ignore problems with other people and get taken advantage of a lot.

think my parents were very reluctant to do that also , when was much much younger .

Dude your cool as. I think everyone goes through stuff like this from time to time.. it's easy to overlook ourselves when it's our own distress. I know the feeling man. Hang in their!

I don't think I'm at an actual risk of doing anything yet, but lately the main thing I've been able to think about is suicide. I am concerned though that I potentially could become upset enough that I attempt it with the lack of impulse control I've had lately.

I would really like to be able to tell my parents about things like this and feel like I have some actual IRL support, but if I did they wouldn't take it seriously, and I don't feel like being belittled since it'll make things worse. Every time I've opened up about being suicidal/depressed they've gotten very aggressive about it and told me that if I was actually suicidal/depressed I wouldn't tell anyone and I'd just try to do it. Sometimes I feel like my parents would rather me just KMS than bother them with my issues, so I don't mention when I'm struggling to them anymore.

The thing I really want to be able to do right now is sleep, because that's the only time I don't think about suicide and am not depressed. I haven't been able to get proper sleep lately though, which is probably contributing to my stress and depression. I also keep trying to fake being in a good mood and hoping it'll somehow trick me into being less upset, but it doesn't change anything.

Feeling very sh***y at the moment and am trying hard to not engage in self injurious behaviour. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a GD mental breakdown and this is one of those times. I'm so tired and frustrated I can't focus on anything or handle getting even simple tasks done.

I'm having a bad day as well. Hang in there. Look for help IRL if needed. I'm dealing with selective mutism right now but I wanted to type something to let you know I'm worried about you.

I'm really sorry you're going through that

What's causing this feeling, Hero?

dear Hero , had issues with those thoughts in the passed , very intense. Sought help. mental help system , free legal aide is a quick and easy suggestion . but you will probably have to make a appointment. Just dont tell them you have a plan to do it, over and above you feelings ... You could get locked up . Just feel free to try to express yourself here as best as you can. I hope the universe opens up some different opportunities for you . Please try to hold on there as best you can . a universal hug to you .

Thank you, I appreciate this a lot. I also really hope that the rest of your day goes better for you.


I've just been really depressed off-and-on for awhile, and I think that + not getting any quality sleep is starting to mess with me. The fact being depressed fluctuates a lot doesn't really help either, because when I feel better and then really quickly feel worse it makes it feel like things aren't going to actually improve. I'm becoming very frustrated with this feeling.


My dad has to go to counseling soon for court stuff, I think. I am hoping he'll let me go to therapy at the same place. I also definitely will be careful about my wording if I talk about feeling suicidal, I do not feel like being locked up for 3+ days would be helpful to me. lol

And thank you for the hug, Jakki.