I don't want to be on the horrible autism spectrum any more

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Joe90
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24 Aug 2021, 12:31 am

I go out of my way to not tell people about my diagnosis, but I can't always prevent other people from telling people about my diagnosis, and ever since I was 8 years old it feels that autism defined me by other people. Like my aunt is getting assessed for Asperger's, she probably told her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend, and I probably got brought up in the equation. And even if I wasn't mentioned, someone else probably said to my cousin and her boyfriend whenever Asperger's gets mentioned - "oh, Joe90 has that". That is, if they knew me since childhood, because word got around the family and family friends really fast when I was diagnosed, and there was nothing I could do about it because I was only a small child. If I was like most other female Aspies and didn't get a diagnosis until adulthood then I could choose who knows and who doesn't.
I didn't want my cousin's boyfriend to know I have it. I admire him and I want him to perceive me as 'normal'. People knowing I have Asperger's makes me feel inferior, even if they don't treat me like I'm inferior I still feel inferior and I just feel comfortable with people not knowing. I prefer it that way.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Aug 2021, 6:23 am

I don’t go around telling people, either.

But you’re still not an inferior person for having Aspergers.