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Jesus is coming, and boy is he pissed

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When jesus returns, who will he smite first?
The catholics 8%  8%  [ 3 ]
The evangelical christians 8%  8%  [ 3 ]
The scientologists 14%  14%  [ 5 ]
the buddhists 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
The atheists 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
The muslims 8%  8%  [ 3 ]
The jews 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
The flying spaghetti monster followers 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Jesus is all happy, he won't smite anyone 8%  8%  [ 3 ]
Jesus is dead, he ain't coming back 28%  28%  [ 10 ]
The wiseass who started this thread 8%  8%  [ 3 ]
What's a Jesus? 11%  11%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 36

Flagg
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24 Aug 2007, 10:33 pm

*facepalms*

You guys are gonna drive me to early alcoholism.


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Anubis
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24 Aug 2007, 10:35 pm

Why drink alcohol when you can read books and play videogames?


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The_Chosen_One
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24 Aug 2007, 10:36 pm

We'll get the car out. What time does alcoholism open? :lol: :lol:


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Fuzzy
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25 Aug 2007, 1:00 am

"I can't come along tonight! I have a bad case of gonorrhea!"

"Well bring it anyway! These guys will drink anything!"

That being the case, I cannot recall any point in the bible where Jesus tries to scare people, or lead by force. The Televangelists have it all wrong. They preach fear, hatred and blindness.

That Ghandi quote was bang on.



jrknothead
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25 Aug 2007, 5:46 am

Anubis wrote:
Why drink alcohol when you can read books and play videogames?


bite thy toungue, foul heathen!



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25 Aug 2007, 6:16 am

jrknothead wrote:
Anubis wrote:
Why drink alcohol when you can read books and play videogames?


bite thy toungue, foul heathen!


Hey, I'm siding with Anubis here. Adding, of course, drinking Coca-Cola to pleasant activity...


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Anubis
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25 Aug 2007, 6:58 am

jrknothead wrote:
Anubis wrote:
Why drink alcohol when you can read books and play videogames?


bite thy toungue, foul heathen!


You are the one that is heathen!!


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iamnotaparakeet
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25 Aug 2007, 7:15 am

And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison, And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand of the sea. And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.
(Revelation 20:7-9 KJV)

Not about Jesus second coming, but the last battle. People are very smitten here.



Anubis
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25 Aug 2007, 7:24 am

Couldn't technology just defeat Satan? We could nuke the scum.


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Todd489
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25 Aug 2007, 7:58 am

jrknothead wrote:
When jesus returns, who do you think he'll smite first?


[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ue-rVWFadEQ[/youtube]



The_Chosen_One
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25 Aug 2007, 10:06 am

Yes, if anyone deserves to be smitten it's those rappers... Call that music?

The 1000 years thing has already happened. It was called the Dark Ages. Nero was the antichrist that was spoken of (beast, actually) and John's revelation was areport on what happened, rather than a foretelling. Besides, pagans don't believe in Satan, so I have nothing to worry about on that score.


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Pagans are people too, not just victims of a religious cleansing program. Universal harmony for all!!

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iamnotaparakeet
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25 Aug 2007, 2:23 pm

The_Chosen_One wrote:
Yes, if anyone deserves to be smitten it's those rappers... Call that music?

The 1000 years thing has already happened. It was called the Dark Ages. Nero was the antichrist that was spoken of (beast, actually) and John's revelation was areport on what happened, rather than a foretelling. Besides, pagans don't believe in Satan, so I have nothing to worry about on that score.


No, the 1000 years of Jesus Crist personally governing this sorry planet hasn't happened yet, otherwise we would be sitting in a new heaven and on a new earth. Prophecy about Israel gathering together has just been fulfilled, so we're near the end of man's dominion on this planet, but not there yet.



jrknothead
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25 Aug 2007, 4:41 pm

whenever i hear someone preaching that the end of the world is near, i offer to buy their land at a discount... no takers so far...



iamnotaparakeet
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25 Aug 2007, 4:54 pm

Jesus said no man knows the day or the hour. No one will be expecting it and everyone will think they live in peace and safety.

Doesn't sound quite like today, about half the world is still professing to be Christian. I say when there are no more Christians left is a more likely time.



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25 Aug 2007, 5:34 pm

Flagg wrote:
Quote:
jesus is dead, he ain't coming back



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25 Aug 2007, 5:48 pm

Quatermass wrote:
Anubis wrote:
The Scientologists.

GOD HATES SCIENTOLOGISTS!! !!


Amen to that. Screw Scientology. Buncha nutjobs anyway. There is two things people should do to all cult leaders who claim that they are god. One, make 'em bleed. It might dissuade some others. Two, make them beg for their lives. Gods shouldn't be afraid of death.

Does that mean that Tom Cruise is not actually The Messiah? :o


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