This is very confusing

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League_Girl
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23 Feb 2010, 10:14 am

Mysty wrote:

rossc wrote:

Straightforward? Hardly. I risk warning and/or possible ban by bringing him up and his profile tells me nothing. He is one of many members.

No, what you risk is having information given to you. You risk getting a PM that says "hey, this person is banned, don't talk about them". That's all. While that could be called a warning, it's not a warning in the sense of punishment or a mark against you. And if an information PM comes across as harsh, hey, we're mostly aspies here, plus, we are dealing with written communication. It's pretty much a given that things will sometimes come across more harshly than intended, and any harshness was likely not intended.

I don't see that PM as a warning. I just see it as being informal because the member didn't know the person was banned.

About being harsh, that's why I try and pick my words carefully and how I say things because I don't want to come off wrong. That's one of the reasons why it takes me a while to make a post. So you might see my reply in a thread and then a half hour later there is another reply from me to another post in that same thread. But sadly I will still come off wrong to some people. Maybe it was my AS or just the person. Hard to tell. If more than one person says I sounded harsh in my post, then I know it was me and accept it. I can explain I didn't mean to come off that way so that everyone knows it wasn't my intention. But if everyone else says there was nothing wrong with my post, then I know it's just the person with the issue. I can explain myself to them but usually they don't like to listen.

rossc
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23 Feb 2010, 10:25 am

Mysty wrote:

rossc wrote:

Straightforward? Hardly. I risk warning and/or possible ban by bringing him up and his profile tells me nothing. He is one of many members.

In times of mod usnig their power for thread and member deletion, it is MORE than a possibility.

But on the warning or friendly Pm. Specifically, it would not phase me if the mods gave me a friendly warning or insulted my Mother (hypothetically speaking of course), I am not that delicate.
Generally speaking, if you are saying that the difference between a warning and a friendly mod "heads up" is a matter of how the reader views it, then I agree. Some may be humiliated by a friendly Pm. TLPG was.
Some may also be humiliated by getting a red x as part of their ban.
The only consistent factor is that members will react differently and you can not please all all the time and some people will get humiliated no matter what the approach.
All this does is take the "humiliation" factor as a barring to silent bannings not having a red x off the list of reasons.
You are dead right with what you say Mysty. People should be less delicate and less likely to get themselves all "humiliated".
Thanks for your post. It does make a very good point for the introduction of red x's for silently banned members. It is appreciated.

makuranososhi
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23 Feb 2010, 10:56 am

But you choose to risk breaking the rules by posting on the matter here, instead of contacting a moderator via a PM to find out whether the individual in question is banned or not. The course of action is straightforward and clear; it is the decision to take another route that baffles me. And the transgressions of one members do not condone the violations of another; even if another person was acting inappropriately, it does not give license for others to act in any manner they deem necessary.

M.

rossc wrote:

One CAN do that. It may SEEM straightforward.
OK I am setting myself up in doing this BUT here goes.

TLPG. As far as I know he is not banned and has not posted in a looooooonnnnngggg time.
He left in a huff because he was called out. (Humiliated - but not banned and certainly not red x'ed.) He has admitted he left rather than get pushed and good riddance. He was harassing a young girl on here and this was the basis of me going after his (after I recieved no back up from the mods after warning them about his intent and "form", I tried to make his life here uncomfortable). I got banned (Hence Lau's earlier remark about previous banned members I suppose.)
He eventually did as he does and was given the hard word in the end by Mr Mark and was humiliated and left in a huff vowing not to come back.
Or did he?
I see no reason to doubt this. Maybe because of the lack of red x, he is not MIA but banned (silently) and maybe I am actually breaching the rules by discussing him. Maybe not.
What will his lack of posting tell me in his profile that I don't already know?
Not a lot really. I know he hasn't posted in a while. I don't know if he is banned and I believe it isn't the case.

Straightforward? Hardly. I risk warning and/or possible ban by bringing him up and his profile tells me nothing. He is one of many members.

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sinsboldly
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23 Feb 2010, 11:16 am

So what of those who actually know discussion of banned members is a rule breaker and deliberately go digging for former banned members to satisfy their morbid curiosity? Since it is a banning offence, is not banning a natural outcome for those members?

Merle

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Sallamandrina
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23 Feb 2010, 11:32 am

makuranososhi wrote:

Well, I've contacted 2 different moderators asking politely if a certain member was banned and never got an answer. Should I just keep pestering people until I get an answer?

I imagine ignoring such questions is a good way to make someone loose interest and give up.

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Mysty
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23 Feb 2010, 11:39 am

rossc wrote:

Mysty wrote:

rossc wrote:

Straightforward? Hardly. I risk warning and/or possible ban by bringing him up and his profile tells me nothing. He is one of many members.

I certainly hope not. I certainly didn't intend to make a point in favor of red x's for banned members. I was disagreeing with you. I'm not in favor of red x's. I'm in favor of moderator's letting people know if it's an issue. I'm also in favor of changing the rule so that only talking about bannings is prohibited.

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League_Girl
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23 Feb 2010, 11:51 am

So you're saying before we talk about a member here, we must contact you first to see if that member is banned or not?

makuranososhi wrote:

rossc wrote:

League_Girl
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23 Feb 2010, 11:57 am

Sallamandrina wrote:

makuranososhi wrote:

Well, I've contacted 2 different moderators asking politely if a certain member was banned and never got an answer. Should I just keep pestering people until I get an answer?

I imagine ignoring such questions is a good way to make someone loose interest and give up.

I've had my questions ignored too in the past (not about banned members) but about other things so I have given up and lost trust in them. I'd rather go to the ones who don't have a bad reputation. That's how I exactly feel. But so far one of them has finally answered me and finally started replying to my PMs when I ask. I think it was my complaining and pointing out the irony that did it. I sometimes get my butt kicked for it but not this time.

makuranososhi
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23 Feb 2010, 12:01 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:

makuranososhi wrote:

Well, I've contacted 2 different moderators asking politely if a certain member was banned and never got an answer. Should I just keep pestering people until I get an answer?

I imagine ignoring such questions is a good way to make someone loose interest and give up.

I can't speak for other moderators, although I can say that Alex did cut over half of his contributing moderation team so it is possible that those you have contacted may no longer be in a position to help you. If you'll send me a PM, I will see what answers I can get you.

M.

makuranososhi
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23 Feb 2010, 12:03 pm

League_Girl wrote:

So you're saying before we talk about a member here, we must contact you first to see if that member is banned or not?

If you're worried about there being problem, then I would suggest that you do just that. Under the rules as written, it is your best course of action. As has been said, if you have issue with the rules then you need to take that discussion to Alex as the moderators do not have any influence or ability to make changes in that area of the site.

M.

Sallamandrina
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23 Feb 2010, 12:13 pm

League_Girl wrote:

The squeaky wheel gets the grease, huh? :lol:

That's weird for an AS forum.

There are a few really interesting members here, that's why I keep browsing the forum once in a while, but I lost all interest in participating. No big loss there, but others might need WP and some support a lot more than I do.

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Last edited by Sallamandrina on 24 Feb 2010, 1:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sallamandrina
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23 Feb 2010, 12:14 pm

makuranososhi wrote:

Both are still active and I waited 2 weeks before complaining.

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makuranososhi
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23 Feb 2010, 12:41 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:

makuranososhi wrote:

Both are still active and I waited 2 weeks before complaining.

I'm sorry that you weren't answered more promptly; let me know if there is more that I can help you with.

M.

DW_a_mom
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23 Feb 2010, 1:33 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:

Well, I've contacted 2 different moderators asking politely if a certain member was banned and never got an answer. Should I just keep pestering people until I get an answer?

I imagine ignoring such questions is a good way to make someone loose interest and give up.

My apologies for never getting you a final answer (for the record, I did answer the pm, but it was with "I don't know, I'll have to find out when I have more time"). It isn't always that easy to find out for a mod, either, unfortunately. It's still being worked on, though.

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Mysty
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23 Feb 2010, 1:40 pm

League_Girl wrote:

So you're saying before we talk about a member here, we must contact you first to see if that member is banned or not?

No, it means that (1) if you have some inkling their might be an issue (2) then it's a good idea to contact a moderator.

I numbered the two distinctions between my understanding and what you said. (1) It doesn't apply for all talking about a member. It applies if you think there might be an issue. Or, as Makuranososhi put it, "If you're worried about there being problem". (2) It's not a must. It's a strong suggestion.

Seems to me the best strategy is, in general, talk to people, not about them. If the person isn't here to talk to, then that in itself might be an indication that it's one of those times when asking first is a good idea.

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makuranososhi
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23 Feb 2010, 1:52 pm

Mysty wrote:

Seems to me the best strategy is, in general, talk to people, not about them. If the person isn't here to talk to, then that in itself might be an indication that it's one of those times when asking first is a good idea.

Very sagacious advice.

M.

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