Compatibility Communication and stuff

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I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where I haven't had my mind in the way out of it from the start

I can't be unique in this

It's not even that I'm looking for something else while I'm in the situation

It's just that I sort of value my freedom more than I value the relationship

My supposed mother is the same apparently

Dunno mate

What's that

Oh man yeah I get it

It's easy to find yourself trapped in something and then you feel an obligation to be kind to the other person

I think it's hard to be a human being where relationships are concerned

Yeah someone told me that getting into a relationship with someone is like gambling

I've not quite worked out what that means but I can sort of understand it

It's all about your feelings and that innit

So how do you personally feel about getting married these days

I'm only asking because you're attitude towards relationships seems to have shifted during the last couple of years

You're doing well
You should be proud of yourself

I wish I would have worked all that out when I was younger

@Miku, to some extent the sunk-cost fallacy does explain what I said. But there is a subtle nuance.

Human beings evaluate cost/benefit of every decision, it's called insight learning. Chimpanzees or even crows do this when they are determining how to solve a problem to get at food.

But with humans we evaluate in more detail and rationalise these conundrums through the cost/benefit analysis. And yes this aligns with falling into the sunk/cost fallacy but there's one catch. It's not always a fallacy.

Many of us will still embark on a decision where the benefit is either difficult to see or unlikely to compensate for the cost. Why? because there is the hope that it might lead to something good. And then the high cost will one day be worth it. Doomsday preppers are a good example (perhaps at one extreme). Animals will do this only when they are protecting their young against a predator who they know will kill them but the biological imperative to fight kicks in to protect their progeny.

Mating is biologically hard coded in our DNA, somebody with an extreme view of Nature > nurture might even say free will is a false belief, all our behaviour is effectively programmed by the imperative to pass our genes so we (in this instance) might go against the grain even in an environment perceived to be hostile to our attractiveness as a mate and keep trying. In some respect we males are materialistic like male birds who preen themselves all day and collect pretty baubles to decorate their nest in order to gain status and attract a mate, even when we know we the odds are stacked against us.