Rants

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Why are some mattresses (designed for couples) made to be so bouncy? I mean, who wants to feel like there's an earthquake every time their bed partner moves?

Get a mattress topper

idk; now the adblock is gone??? how ??
and how to get it back, there's no
the endless prb of pc
why
now there'a lady for x in the corner, really??
the internetz getz used to shove thing down your whatever that no one would put up with otherwise

what does the world compagny think of it?


short: more credit for more profit

I wish that Temu would leave us the hell alone.

25 stinking pence they've put on the price of a small bag of Jakemans in Sainsbury's

Cheeky, hard faced, robbing bar stewards!

The world's gone round the flipping twist
Unless I'm mistaken that's a 25% increase

They've done that in time for everyone getting the bloody flu, I'm telling you

Well it's alright because I'll just take my business elsewhere
They're only 79p in Savers

I've switched my default browser to one that doesn't have AI searching for results, because I'm fed up with AI bullsh*ng me.

I hate the center I go to, especially (most of) the people. There's only one staff I like, and less than a handful of clients - I mainly go for the computer that allows me to see better and to do laundry, and even that is going to be going away soon since they're changing policies on doing laundry.

I already avoid going on busy days but sometimes I'll still be surprised and I can't stay long enough to do laundry or sit through the group meeting that is basically mandatory to use the facilities.

I hate it. I hate the people. I hate the lights. I hate everything except the computer and laundry room.

I hate when people tell me I'm "nosy" for just wanting to belong and being hyper-social. As a person who is not renowned for snitching or spreading gossip, I only want to know what's going on because it's a way to feel connected and a sense of belonging, which isn't unusual for a human. If a co-worker is absent and you work with them, the first question you might ask somebody else is where they are, because you care. Being met with a cold response like "don't worry about others, just focus on yourself, you're too nosy!" isn't really helpful - especially when everyone else most likely asked the same question as me and wasn't met with a rejecting response.

It'd be nice if the person told the bully to "not worry about others and to focus on himself" when he was going round taking pictures of me and snitching on me just to stir up trouble. At least I'm not capable of that and never will be. But it seems social rules don't apply to me. I'm just expected to be happy being kept in the dark about everything while everyone else knows the goings on of the workplace. It isn't fair. How do I get a stronger personality where I can be an NT without being scolded? Life is so boring and lonely when you're on the f*****g piss-arse spectrum.

^ I get the feeling that nosy is sometimes used for similar reasons as creep/creepy. Basically, when someone tries to be included when the group is seeking to exclude them, they'll be labelled nosy or creepy, when really they're just oblivious to the attempts at exclusion.

Well I can't do anything about that then lol. It's okay, I asked someone else where my favourite co-worker was and they said she's on annual leave. So at least she's not ill or anything.
I am close to the people at work and I do fit in enough to not be thought of as creepy is I so much as ask a question, but one person does like to have social power there. He's not a bully and I do like him, but it's just the way he is, especially with women. He's the old-fashioned type that still thinks women are inferior. At least it's not personal, though me having a weak personality doesn't help.

I feel sad. It’s complicated.

My girlfriend tried to comfort me. When she realized it didn’t work, she became a little emotionally overwhelmed. That made me even sadder. She is very sweet. She deserves a boyfriend who is emotionally stable, not someone like me who spends every day researching tech products but doesn’t understand emotions. I know we are not well matched, but I used to think she would be very happy being with me. She says she isn’t happy. If I insist on continuing, it seems selfish.

I still don’t have stable work. Socially, I’m very awkward. Sometimes I think about strange people I observed long ago—people who liked to rage and laugh explosively. I was afraid of them. I never understood why everyone indulged that kind of person. I feel sad, because I may never truly experience the warmth of a real group. I can only accept group behavior when there are clear rules and expectations, like in religious communities.

I am sad. There are many things I don’t understand and cannot solve. Staying here may only make my situation worse. My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, very far apart. She seems unwilling to leave her hometown. And in her region, the bride price is very heavy. My family’s conditions are slightly better than hers. My thought is that living together at my home would be more comfortable. I have no reason to move to her hometown. I think my family might not be able to afford the bride price.

I like her. That may be the only reason worth getting married for, but even that sounds selfish. In fact, I could choose not to like her. I feel sad. I do many things poorly. If I had income, I would feel a bit better.

I like being frugal. I feel that I find products with good cost-performance value, but my family doesn’t understand me. They think spending time and energy maintaining old things is acceptable. I feel somewhat sad.

It’s Spring Festival now. I have no friends to spend time with, and there’s nothing I particularly want to do. Žižek talks about the “desire for desire.” I have that. I don’t have desire; I want a bit of it. I want a kind of desire that is easy to satisfy—something that brings a brief moment of happiness once fulfilled. So far, the only thing I’ve found that works like that is masturbation. But even that has limits; after once, I have to stop for two or three days.

I feel a little sad.

I'm a bit in an anxious panic.
I have lived alone since 2004. The only exception has been when one or both of my sons lived with me. But I have been non-related adult free since 2004. I have routine, and a way of doing things, and I know I'm not "normal."

Today a friend from my past called me. He needs help. He is in his 70s and as fallen on hard times. He was homeless for a time. Autism is a weird thing. One one hand I really value my routine, way of life, my privacy. On the other hand doing the right thing is important. So I told him I have a spare room he could live in. The panic set off as soon as I said it, before I said, I almost didn't say it, but it is the right thing to do. I am a clutter collector, so since if said he could sleep in the spare room (anxiety), I have been cleaning and decluttering. I had less than four hours to work on it to day because tomorrow I'm hopping in the car and driving the longest two hours to pick him up. Two hours is nothing, but driving to this place feels like eight hours. This picky distraction of detail distracts me from my anxiety. But I'll pick him up, pay his bill. He has been staying in a hotel after staying in a homeless shelter (it is a complicated conspiracy of events).

Typing all of this has been helpful. There are things I need to worry about still, regarding having someone live with me, but for now I'm doing okay. Once I hit submit, I'll have plenty of time to become anxious again. I need to keep busy, and get things done. That my friends is how I survived 40 years working in a job, not knowing I was on the spectrum, but having a panic with nearly every project.

I just have to remind myself that living in my cluttered dump of a house is better than the streets. I'm not sure about the homeless shelter. That might be a step up.

Thank you for letting me rant. It helped for now. Back to decluttering...

I also have to figure out meals, where he can sit. I have plenty of computers. He is not a computer person, so that is no help. As his host, I have responsibilities. I am concerned my house will not be a good fit for him. These are details I worry about, but not at the moment because I am avoiding panic by watching Father Brown and typing... LOL
I need to return to my responsibilities.

oh, that's a bit of a situation
i've had so many people -getting (temp)housed by me & partner- that i know that is a thing i never do any more, but i get the sentiment,
best to put a date of exit somewhere, oh you have excluded that option, maybe you can sneak that back in (nt-like fashion), proposing, eg finding him a room or appt nearby you

I'll update on this at some point. It got complicated and I don't feel comfortable going into detail.
Today because super stressful, and I told my friend, this is what a meltdown looks like. I'm dealing the best I can.

I don't know if anyone else has this behavior. One is presented with a problem. It genuinely has nothing to do with one's life, but there is a desire to help. One can take a step back and tell themself, "This isn't my problem." and leave it at that. Go back to doing something that needs to be done in one's own life. But the brain simply won't let them.

I've been assisting my friend for over a week with housing and finances. He realizes it is a strain, and he has tried to distance himself. Okay fine... but I can see gaps in his plans. He is thorough about planning steps A, B, C and then he jumps to E. To me, step D seems to be "some magic happens." Sometimes in life that works out. Sometimes some magic does happen, but my experience is that magic comes from someone else. He is a smart person, he really is. But...

So I've been using my neurotypical 64 year female friend as a sounding board. She honestly treats it like a Lifetime drama and seems to enjoy the entertainment value. I take it more seriously. So after telling me he should deal with his own problems, and if he messes up, that's on him, she brings up her latest technical problem. In total, the grandfather of a friend of her daughter (her children are wonderful) passed away, and my 64YOF (year old friend) has a picture of the grandfather and his great grand daughter. She wants to print the picture and give it to the mother of the great grand daughter. (confusing? sorry.) But when when she prints the picture, the great grandfather's head get chopped off. Can I fix this?
I think easy-peasy and tell her the picture just needs to be cropped at the bottom so the aspect ratio matches and everything will fit when printed. I think I'll just drive out to her house in the country, crop it, visit, and reset my mind because last night I woke up at two in the morning and mulled over my other friend's situation. He has a plan, but step D is missing. I got up and did some research... um... reset my mind. I'd bring my laptop and she could continue to work from home. She sent me the picture. Okay, I can easily do it at my house, and send it back. I just need to know the aspect ratio. Then she wants to sent me her account for printing it. She wants me to drive to the store where she gets this done and print it for her as well. This is all so she can give this picture to someone and demonstrate what a good person she is, and how much she cares. At Valentines, she asked me to 3d-print some hearts for her that represented her grand kids. I spent a LOT of time on that because I wanted them to be original and nice to look at. I also had to learn how to do it because it was not something I'd done yet on my 3d-printer. I figured it out. I'm off the intended thought path... sorry. I texted her this morning that I did not get much sleep and I was grumpy. I sometime feel like I'm back at work. There is a problem and everyone seems to say, well we didn't cause the problem, so let the s**t hit the fan. It affected the staff and patient care. ARGH! So I would set out to solve the problem, only to have the manager thank everyone for their hard work getting things resolved. Other people did help. They supplied me with information so I could fix things. (hey, this really is a rant).
A psychologist or psychiatrist would ask, "What would happen if it you didn't do it?" and they would be right. But it is the least I can do to add value to the world. When people say "It takes a village" I know I am not going to participate in a group thing that ends up being a social party. So helping where I can, because I can, is the least I can do. The "least" because I'm lazy.

Sorry. This is a rant, and I don't know what I expected to get out of it because I will crop her photo, and drive to the store to get it printed. First I have to finish the lawn because it is going to rain.

Last rant. THERE IS A FLY THAT KEEPS CIRCLING ME AND LANDING ON MY ARMS AND NECK.


It all will pass. It all will pass. Hey! The Kickstarter for The Guild, the Movie starts today!

More ranting...
64YOF
I cropped the photo so it would fit in a 7X5 frame. She did not like it. It is more important that the arm and hand appear in the picture than the top of the head. So I did that. Then I did variations so more head and hair appeared with as much of the arm as possible. I can make micro adjustments. Now she is playing the I'm sorry I'm a burden card. That is not it. I just need immediate feedback which is way I wanted to go to her place. Instead, while I'm working, she is sending other pictures of the family and stuff. I'm not doing this to feel warm and fuzzy about them or myself. There is a problem and I am trying to resolve it.
Yes. I've told her this. Now I think feelings are hurt.
And I know when I get more sleep and am less grumpy, I will then get depressed about the whole thing.
It's not about who is right or wrong. It is about solving the problem.
But she is right, there are things I wanted to do today.
And that fly kept landing on my arm when I was trying to make tiny little mouse adjustments.

LOL I know. My mantra I used to bring my blood pressure down...
"Park Eun-bin. Park Eun-bin. Park Eun-bin. Park Eun-bin...." Seriously, it worked on my last doctor's visit. I found it funny.

Take a deep breath...Park Eun-bin. Park Eun-bin. Park Eun-bin. Park Eun-bin
It works