Asperger's and flirting?

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Well I hope no one becomes the focus of my entire world, that would not only be inconvenient but also disrupt my routine due to added time rotating around this person (that, I think was quite a good joke)

In my experience, man are so much more tolerant with the quirks of an woman they find attractive (and it's exactly the other way around with women). When I was very young, I instinctively used a slightly flirtatious behaviour in order to be accepted or liked by others. I didn't realize I was flirting, I just sensed a certain way of acting got more positive responses - from men, of course.

After being explained what signals I actually transmitted, I became more careful - to me everything seemed very innocent and harmless, but other women hated me and sometimes retaliated cruelly. This made me think that I might appear just as cruel to them.

On the other hand, most of my friends are men and neither them or my husband/their respective wives or girlfriends don't seem to have a problem with my behaviour, so I probably stopped - I couldn't tell for sure...

We're boned! pretty much everything on the list of flirting tips is impaired by AS.

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singl ... g-success/

I now understand the part of Negs, but I never would have if I hadn't read about it. I think someone was negging me when she said "You couldn't be getting a Ph.D." Then again, maybe she was just being a jerk. I can't tell. But even after that I was doing OK in a phone conversation (I think?) until my friend started acting like a douchebag and punched me in the arm.

I am very uninterested i sex and relationships but I actually find aspies females hot and really interesting lol its just my thing I will only be born with aspie children lol

Ahahaha.... I know what the OP is talking about, as I'm the exact same way.
There was one teacher in high school and 2 professors in college that I would banter with.
The one in high school was possibly the first man outside my family that I trusted and loved.
The ones in college were just for fun and because no one else ever said anything in class.

As an aside I actually ended up with my college professor and we now have two kids

This topic has been an interesting read!

Crassus has really perfected the art of flirting, it seems, and "broken the code" helped me understand flirting a lot. But now that I understand it more, I perhaps like it even less.

I -do- pay women compliments from time to time, which is difficult for me, because I have a hard time letting women know that I'm interested in them. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable. So for me to pay a compliment is a Very Big Deal. To know that it can just be seen as a pass or a come-on makes me feel even worse about the whole thing!

Oh, well.

Here's a funny anecdote. I play this conversation in my head over and over because it makes me laugh.

Several years ago I went to Sydney on a college trip. While I was there, I was impelled to join some classmates at a bar. I like to smoke when I drink, so I bought a pack of cigarettes before we went. This bar had a roped-off dance club upstairs, which I was initially let in to because they girls I was with were hot.

(Does everyone here hate clubs as much as I do? The noise! The touching! The subtle social cues! The coordination! But I hung around for a while because they had a live band rather than a dj, which I liked.)

I went downstairs--back out the ropes--to use the restroom. Lo, and behold, I wasn't allowed back up without my hot friends. So I decided to wait for them downstairs a while. I sat on a stool and smoked. I was sitting next to a quiet young woman who I believe was having a bad night. She was smoking, too.

After I finished my VB (Aussie beer) I decided to leave, but still had a nearly-full pack of cigarettes (and cig packs are big down in Oz!) I wanted to get rid of the smokes, because I planned on not smoking/drinking the rest of the trip.

When I talk to people, I like to say absurd things or funny things. It's how I've learned to relate to people.

I looked at the smoking young thing and asked, "Do you believe in Santa Claus?"

She looked me over and paused before she answered. She finally said, "Sure."

"Merry Christmas," I said, handing her the pack and walking out of the bar. (This was in April, btw.)

It struck me later that the girl probably thought I was using a "line" on her. What was going through her head for that moment before she responded. I've thought about it for years. It was probably something like:

"Okay, this guy looks like a loser, but I'm bored, so. . ."

or was it more like:

"Santa what? Oh, Father Christmas. He's American. That's cool, so. . ."

I'll never know. I guess that was off-topic, but I had fun sharing. Thanks.

Flirting? What's that?

I've learned how to cope with AS and I've learned to be social. (Note the word "learn". I had to learn what comes naturally to others.) But flirting is one thing I simply don't know how to and I never will learn. I have a terrible case of love shyness.

I can talk to a female friend for hours on end if she's married or has a boyfriend or is much younger or older than me. A lot of my friends are women. But the moment a good looking woman of my age walks into the room my flight or fight instinct kicks in and I pretty much go out of my way to ignore her. That right there is my one remaining issue I've not been able to overcome.