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EGMaria2004
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09 Nov 2004, 6:09 pm

I give up.
I've realised even if someone really did love me I couldn't give them what they deserve.

I know my AS will mean I end up hurting them.



Archmage
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09 Nov 2004, 7:13 pm

Hey, hey, hey, there's no reason to get down on yourself! Somewhere out there, somebody's out there waiting for you. Never give up, that's my motto! Even if i'm in the scariest domain of my mind (the part that deals w/ love), i never give up! You shouldn't either. Now perk up and say, "i can do this!" Trust me, it makes fear and despair dissolve like Splenda in water(and trust me, that's pretty fast!)

Good luck, although i don't think you'll need it anyways...
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midge
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09 Nov 2004, 11:09 pm

I agree, don't give up!! You may not find someone right away and that can be frustrating and make the future look bleak, but it's really not and I'm sure it will happen to you eventually. And you just never know, it could happen to you tomorrow. Have you ever thought about dating another aspie? That could ensure that you both have an understanding of each other's behavior and specific needs and avoid too many misunderstandings and hurt feelings. And I think that you and all other people with AS have a lot of things to offer in a relationship such as our loyalty, kindness, honesty, open-mindedness, uniqueness, the fact that we aren't shallow, and a number of other things. I know how you feel by the way b/c it has not happened to me either and I've wanted to give up at times as well but I am keeping my eyes open. It may take awhile (or a few days!) to find someone you are compatible with but I think it is possible for all of us and I know it will happen to you!! !!



hale_bopp
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10 Nov 2004, 5:15 am

What do they deserve?

There are people that do their best to understand. Sometimes they can help you get through alot of hard times, too.

That's utter rubbish.. you deserve to be happy just like everyone else - That's what friend told me when I was discussing the exact same issue with him just the other day. :)



chamoisee
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10 Nov 2004, 2:45 pm

Yeah. I have felt that way before. I think that the trick is to find soemone who'll accept you as you are and who (if you are like me) will understand that he/she should be consistent, rational, and very careful about saying things in a joking fashion if they do not mean them.



animallover
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10 Nov 2004, 11:11 pm

Egmaria24 - it scares me how much we think alike! I go through this all the time and I have decided that I am only capibable of superficial relationships and I am simply beating my head against a wall to try to have anything deeper than that . . .

On the other side of that, however, I feel that I am the closest thing to unconditional love you can get in a human - if I feel genuine concern about a person (becasue it rarely happens - I feel respect for everyone, but very rarely real concern) - that does not ever go away . . . anyone I've ever felt that way about can come to my door at any time and I will help them in any way I can . . .

Really this realization is liberating as it saves me being concerned about the long term relationship issue at all and I can spend my time doing cool things like gardening instead of worrying about that sort of thing . . .



Absolute_Zero
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09 Dec 2004, 7:55 pm

I feel the same way sometimes. It fluctuates from (I am really lonely and want a girl but how can I do it?) to (#$@¿ it!! !, I don't care anymore, everyone is just into their fads and all the girls want is guys who cheat on them and treat them like garbage)

I get really agitated sometimes and other times I am confident that someone out there might actually be out there for me. And then there's girls and my family (mom and sisters) that say "you'll find someone, you are a really great guy".

That makes me feel like such a ret*d and i'm tired of hearing it.