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MrLoony
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23 Jun 2009, 3:06 pm

I can be very talkative. I'm very opinionated and I have a lot of knowledge in my areas of interest. As my mother has mentioned, conversations with me tend to turn into lectures.

"Hey there!"

"..."

"What's up?"

"..."

This is not an uncommon scene in my life, either. Every once in a while, even if someone is actively trying to get an answer out of me, I simply cannot make words come out of my mouth. Even if I know what I would say, I can only communicate in gestures. It is especially common when I do not think I'm going to have to talk. I know it's not related to depression; I have none of the other signs of depression.

Has anyone else had this happen?


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sgrannel
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23 Jun 2009, 3:35 pm

Yes, a lot. It's easier for me to go through the mechanical motion of doing something than to say it, with humorous effect. My speech can at times be sparse and delayed, and my issues with loudness, monotone, accents etc. don't make it easy either. Issues with knowing what to say, freezing, and drawing a blank when it comes my turn to keep the conversation going, have made other people uncomfortable and have also caused me to act unpleasantly in a near-meltdown state. Forget about having me say grace at holiday dinners, too, because I also draw a blank on that one. The movie "Meet Joe Black" has a scene where Joe has to say the Lutheran Grace, and I think these instances are really just a way to trip people up and categorize them as not belonging if they don't know the *right* words.


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MONKEY
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23 Jun 2009, 3:44 pm

I can relate. I can talk for ages and ages and ages when I'm comfortable enough. But there are times when someone is talking to me I'm not too comfortable with I can proper freeze in that nothing comes out, and when I do speak it's not alot and forced out. It's only a recent thing for me though, it just started developing these past couple of years.


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buryuntime
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23 Jun 2009, 4:32 pm

i can speak to my family okay. most of the time I just say "no talk" though and they get mad. when I do talk it's either one-sided or apparently insulting. with other people I just put on a dumb smile and shrug at everything. I can't do lectures like OP said, if someone doesn't understand someone I get mad and start calling them ignorant or stupid =p and if they ask questions I get mad and continue or go away. also family gets mad when I point out the obvious a lot such as something over and over or get excited over something simple.

by the way OP it could be selective mutism.



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23 Jun 2009, 4:36 pm

There'll be days when I'll also talk a lot and go on for awhile(in class we were going through character lists for a play and it came onto a description of, 'not afraid to speak their mind' and everyone turned around and looked at me while saying my name), though some days I'll just ignore everyone or give very closed answers, or even be snappy.
EMZ=]



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23 Jun 2009, 4:41 pm

This happens to me. Sometimes when I am anxious, uncomfortable or overwhelmed, but also sometimes independent of anything at all. In the latter case, I do not feel unhappy, or uncomfortable or anything, but talking becomes a huge and discomforting effort. I’d happily write anything down, but for some reason at such times making verbal utterances is very difficult and almost painful.



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23 Jun 2009, 4:43 pm

Yes this happens to me too. My number 1 language/speech problem that haunts me every day. I'm probably more annoyed by now because often I only get this at the end of the day and then I'm just home or with friends anyway who won't fire or think I'm totally out of it for going non-verbal.


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Callista
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23 Jun 2009, 5:36 pm

I think what you're talking about is the difference between being "verbal" and being capable of conversational reciprocity. That is, the give-and-take of conversation; the "think fast" problem you get when you have half a second to think up a response to someone else's statement, and the timing of it as well.

Lots of people who know words and can string sentences together are still stuck on conversations. I am a little past that now, but not by far. I still lecture, use canned statements, or say the wrong thing. Sometimes things just plain get garbled. I do much better giving a class presentation than talking to my team members while planning the project!


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MrLoony
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23 Jun 2009, 5:49 pm

I want to thank you all for responding. It's something that's rather fascinating to me.

Callista wrote:
I think what you're talking about is the difference between being "verbal" and being capable of conversational reciprocity. That is, the give-and-take of conversation; the "think fast" problem you get when you have half a second to think up a response to someone else's statement, and the timing of it as well.


But the thing is, is that even if I know what I would say if I could, I can't. My response comes to mind, but I can't even open my mouth, let alone create the sounds that form words.


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Callista
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23 Jun 2009, 6:09 pm

Some people have trouble initiating conversation, or with the motor-planning part of speech.

Selective mutism seems to be rather common too--being able to speak sometimes, but not other times, or in some places but not others.

I've gotten my speech frozen like that under extreme stress. Does it happen more for you under stress? Because whatever makes me lose access to speech might create the same problem for you; only more frequently.


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MrLoony
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23 Jun 2009, 6:17 pm

I haven't been paying attention to my stress levels when I'm having trouble speaking. It may have to do with my level of introversion at the time. I do tend to look inward whenever I'm not actively engaged with others, and I tend to notice this happening when I've been alone for a while and then a situation comes up where I should say something, but can't. This is not to say I'm not paying attention, so I miss the question. I remember a couple of cases quite clearly, and I remember paying attention to the people who I was supposed to say things to.

I'll see if it happens while or after I'm actively engaged.

Thank you for your insight, Callista.


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Age1600
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23 Jun 2009, 10:36 pm

mcloony ever try using sign to maybe get ur point across, when ur more nonverbal. i use a lot of sign, i guess u could say i can be very verbal through sign sometimes and then other times i only able to use basic sign haha, idk what the heck happens to my vocal cords all i know is that they never do their job haha. either way hope u find a way to fix that, good luck1


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mechanicalgirl39
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24 Jun 2009, 8:48 am

Yeah I sometimes seize up and can't think how to verbalize something, even though I can have intellectual discussions for hours.


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MONKEY
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24 Jun 2009, 10:14 am

MrLoony wrote:
I want to thank you all for responding. It's something that's rather fascinating to me.

Callista wrote:
I think what you're talking about is the difference between being "verbal" and being capable of conversational reciprocity. That is, the give-and-take of conversation; the "think fast" problem you get when you have half a second to think up a response to someone else's statement, and the timing of it as well.


But the thing is, is that even if I know what I would say if I could, I can't. My response comes to mind, but I can't even open my mouth, let alone create the sounds that form words.


That's just like me, I think for me it's being anxious with people, it's like having constipation of the mouth (eek not a nice thought XD)


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JetLag
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24 Jun 2009, 11:07 am

That happens to me as well. Many times I know and I can see clearly the thoughts in my mind that I want to say in a conversation but for some unknown reason to me I am unable to turn those thoughts into words, they just stay locked up in the head and my mouth remains shut.


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MrLoony
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24 Jun 2009, 12:45 pm

MONKEY wrote:
MrLoony wrote:
I want to thank you all for responding. It's something that's rather fascinating to me.

Callista wrote:
I think what you're talking about is the difference between being "verbal" and being capable of conversational reciprocity. That is, the give-and-take of conversation; the "think fast" problem you get when you have half a second to think up a response to someone else's statement, and the timing of it as well.


But the thing is, is that even if I know what I would say if I could, I can't. My response comes to mind, but I can't even open my mouth, let alone create the sounds that form words.


That's just like me, I think for me it's being anxious with people, it's like having constipation of the mouth (eek not a nice thought XD)


You should see the episode of House entitled "Whose Your Daddy?"

Age1600 wrote:
mcloony ever try using sign to maybe get ur point across, when ur more nonverbal. i use a lot of sign, i guess u could say i can be very verbal through sign sometimes and then other times i only able to use basic sign haha, idk what the heck happens to my vocal cords all i know is that they never do their job haha. either way hope u find a way to fix that, good luck1


That's Mr. Loony to you!

Actually, this is generally what I try to do. People still generally get confused, like when I'm trying to gesture for them to go away or to follow me or some such.

Edit: Does anyone here know sign language? Does it help when you go non-verbal?


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