To all the aspies that think they're worthless

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bdhkhsfgk
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01 Jul 2009, 2:48 am

you're not! You are special people who have been given the opportunity to live a completely different life, which has it's up's and down's, but you must consider yourself lucky as h*** to have been the chosen one of 300 people to have been born with AS, the chance of that is around 0,34%. That's a more ridiculous chance than winning the 1st price in gambling! I hope this helps you :P



MissConstrue
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01 Jul 2009, 3:46 am

Thanks....that's a rare thing for anyone to say something nice to people even on this "support" forum.

I still feel very unlucky in many ways and wonder why I'm in the few but I'll try to make the best of it I guess..


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Michjo
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01 Jul 2009, 3:48 am

I've made absolutely no contribution to society because i am worthless
Ladyhawke has made a contribution to society because she is a talented individual

I don't really see what this has to do with me having autism.

Not to mention you should not be telling worthless people that they are not worthless. People should not be content with being worthless, they need a motivational push that does not come from being content with the status quo, which appears to be my problem.



Aimless
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01 Jul 2009, 6:25 am

I guess people have a different interpretation of the word "worthless". I would hesitate to say that anyone was worthless. You don't have to make a groundbreaking scientific discovery or paint a great masterpiece to matter. I think the whole peace movement of the 60's failed because everyone was disillusioned when they couldn't change the world. The only thing you have to change is yourself and your mindset. Your interactions with other people will affect the way they interact with others. When someone is treated rudely or unfairly, they are more likely to go home and be rude and inconsiderate to a family member and then on it goes like ripples in a pond. You are not worthless because you have the treasure that is yourself to discover. What those with AS have is an ability to focus on the beauty of things most of the world is unaware of. To show the world that it is possible to be transported by the simplest of things is valuable. I know some are snickering but that's ok. :rabbit:

Here's something from the Gnostic Gospels I find intriguing:
If you bring out what is within you, what is within you will save you.
If you do not bring out what is within you, what is within you will destroy you.


snark to your hearts content :|



Michjo
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01 Jul 2009, 7:32 am

Aimless wrote:
Here's something from the Gnostic Gospels I find intriguing:
If you bring out what is within you, what is within you will save you.
If you do not bring out what is within you, what is within you will destroy you.

I think there is a lot of truth to that statement, it's good of you to share it.



makuranososhi
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01 Jul 2009, 7:43 am

Michjo wrote:
I've made absolutely no contribution to society because i am worthless
Ladyhawke has made a contribution to society because she is a talented individual

I don't really see what this has to do with me having autism.

Not to mention you should not be telling worthless people that they are not worthless. People should not be content with being worthless, they need a motivational push that does not come from being content with the status quo, which appears to be my problem.


Worth is subjective; it is up to you to decide how you value yourself, not others. A reminder that this is the Haven, btw.


M.


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Michjo
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01 Jul 2009, 7:57 am

makuranososhi wrote:
Michjo wrote:
I've made absolutely no contribution to society because i am worthless
Ladyhawke has made a contribution to society because she is a talented individual

I don't really see what this has to do with me having autism.

Not to mention you should not be telling worthless people that they are not worthless. People should not be content with being worthless, they need a motivational push that does not come from being content with the status quo, which appears to be my problem.


Worth is subjective; it is up to you to decide how you value yourself, not others. A reminder that this is the Haven, btw.


M.

I know it's the haven, i am merely highlighting that telling people what they wish to hear is not always the best course of action, so hence telling a whole group of something will more than likely be fueling a negative mindset for certain individuals. I don't believe pre-emptively sharing opinions to a huge group of people to keep the majority happy is the best way to approach emotional issues, or the issues that may appear in the haven.



b9
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01 Jul 2009, 8:04 am

if you reduced me to the elements i an composed of, and sold each of those elements, then i would be worth about $45 i think.



venusandeve
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01 Jul 2009, 9:40 am

i found an easy solution for the worthlessness thing by simply dumping all my obsessive NEED for more into music. it sucks because it requires a kind of dexterity i was born without. but 5 years into the fray, i can say i've made some headway.
i've learnt a new language from scratch in 4 years. went from being jobless to having a job with a decent contract.

i still hate having to deal with simple people but even from them i learn stuff.
everytime i think i suck i pick up my guitar and get practicing. it exorcises my feelings of guilt towards my limited achievments in life.

Michjo: the easy part is shrugging and feeling sorry for yourself. and repeating the mantra. and i think you put it perfectly when you said "People should not be content with being worthless, they need a motivational push that does not come from being content with the status quo, which appears to be my problem."
you have diagnosed the problem. the push you're waiting for may never come. it's a selfish world. nobody will benefit more from your advances than you and therefore, almost no people will be inclined to help you instead of helping themselves.
Michjo: help - yourself.



mosto
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01 Jul 2009, 11:08 am

Thinking that you're worthless, and despairing of life is not the same thing. I am not worthless because:
- having Aspergers is not my fault
- having my parents is not my fault
- having the teachers I had is not my fault
- having the doctors/psychs/career advisors etc which took 23 years to diagnose me correctly is not my fault
- society is deceived is not my fault



Crocodile
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03 Jul 2009, 4:28 am

I feel pretty worthless, becasue your value as a human being depends on how much of use you are to others or to society, and on how much other people value you. Since I don't have many friends, I'm pretty useless in that way, I only can add some value to myself by working and contributing that way to society.

I can write much more on how worthless I am, but I won't. Whenever I have such thoughts, I try to push them away because I know they're only venomous and not constructive in any way. I don't feel that great about myself, also because I have been bullied at school and even by my parents for years. It has stopped, but I'm still struggling with my self-image. I wish I could find a way to love myself. It has helped to tell myself that they were wrong and that I didn't deserve any of it, I never did anything that made me deserve it. That helps, but it's kinda bitter I am the one who still suffers from what they did, instead of them being punished in some way. It feels like I'm punished for what they did and that I am punished for them. They live their happy lifes without any kind of remorse. I wish there was some eternal justice, but I don't believe in God.

It made me understand why religious people like the idea of the punishment of the unjustful, they can't stand the diea some jerk can do whatever he likes and still live happily ever after. It is comforting to know it will happen.


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Fickle_Pickle
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03 Jul 2009, 10:21 am

Oh, yeah? And just why am I so lucky?



ZEGH8578
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03 Jul 2009, 11:37 am

fickle_pickle, everyone i know are unlucky, and only one of them is a fellow aspie B)

OP is right, we're just different, for good and bad. normal people (or "daywalkers") have their ups and downs too, and many of them got their own issues, such as depressions and stuff


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OddFinn
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03 Jul 2009, 12:22 pm

I do not feel worthless. I have a very high self-esteem. For those who do feel worthless: I hope I had a way to feel with you, even though it is not one of my current problems. I hope you will feel better.



bdhkhsfgk
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03 Jul 2009, 1:11 pm

Crocodile wrote:
I feel pretty worthless, becasue your value as a human being depends on how much of use you are to others or to society, and on how much other people value you. Since I don't have many friends, I'm pretty useless in that way, I only can add some value to myself by working and contributing that way to society.

I can write much more on how worthless I am, but I won't. Whenever I have such thoughts, I try to push them away because I know they're only venomous and not constructive in any way. I don't feel that great about myself, also because I have been bullied at school and even by my parents for years. It has stopped, but I'm still struggling with my self-image. I wish I could find a way to love myself. It has helped to tell myself that they were wrong and that I didn't deserve any of it, I never did anything that made me deserve it. That helps, but it's kinda bitter I am the one who still suffers from what they did, instead of them being punished in some way. It feels like I'm punished for what they did and that I am punished for them. They live their happy lifes without any kind of remorse. I wish there was some eternal justice, but I don't believe in God.

It made me understand why religious people like the idea of the punishment of the unjustful, they can't stand the diea some jerk can do whatever he likes and still live happily ever after. It is comforting to know it will happen.


I felt that way when i was 11-14, but then i realized something; I'm not afraid of saying my true opinions on stuff :P

You know that many NT's call aspies weak because they feel bad inside, but they are so wrong, because NT's would be eating their own s*** after they've been turned their back on by everybody. Aspies don't care because they have a true opinion, and go their own way, they avoid many things like smoke, drugs, and alcohol, those things represent the greatness of being and aspie!! !! !! !!



Raskle
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03 Jul 2009, 1:23 pm

Quote:
You know that many NT's call aspies weak because they feel bad inside, but they are so wrong, because NT's would be eating their own s*** after they've been turned their back on by everybody. Aspies don't care because they have a true opinion, and go their own way, they avoid many things like smoke, drugs, and alcohol, those things represent the greatness of being and aspie!! !! !! !!


Please try not to stereotype people who have AS, or those who don't have it. People with AS are individuals, just like people who don't have AS. People with AS are not superior to people who don't have AS; people who are without AS are not superior to people who do have AS. An individual's worth should not be measured by the extent of their "normalcy" or "typicalness".

As a person with AS, I find myself concerned more and more by this apparent divide between people with AS and people without it. I am worried about the development of this mindset that seems to say, "Because I am different to neurotypical people, I am in many ways better than them". It is not true. It is not a competition, or tournament.

And besides, your point about people with AS not enjoying smoking, drugs or alcohol is also false. I have, and often do, enjoy those things.

I appreciate that you are trying to be positive, and I've got no problem with you at all. But please try to be more open-minded. :)