Can anyone teach me how to not care?

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And be numb and sarcastic? Thanks.

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE???????????????????????????????????

I picked up sarcasm as a coping mechanism in my teen years. But I don't think it worked how I wanted it to. It helped me be less anxious, but I completely missed the effect it had on others -- I didn't see their reactions. Now I wish I'd tried some other things (not lost the sarcasm, I think its great, just tempered it with other things.)

As for teaching it, I doubt it. But -- you could try watching "House".

Sadly, I can't master it unless I've practiced it for long, hard years. At the least, I'd be 21 by the time I'm the queen. Now to find other things to do for 3 long years.

im very sarcastic, but i find i need to keep it in a leash or it can cause trouble. most people simply dont find it any cute, especially "irl". im very sarcastic among my few friends, online or irl, cus we get each others humor

cold heartedness and sarcasm is just that, you make a joke about something when its not necesarily appropriate. the joke itself is always based in some or other form of observtion.

you shouldn't wish for that, it's not fun not caring.

and anyway, it's easier when life treats you like s**t, if you want to get there yourself you might want to become a hobo or something.

yes! yes yes yes
hahahahaha

i AM a hobo. im just lucky that the norwegian gvt pays hobos to find a place to live :]

i was wondering why it was so hard telling someone HOW to just GET bitter and sarcastic

To be sarcastic, start saying things you don't mean and say things that aren't true.

you can be sarcastic while saying things you mean too, but then your venturing out on thin ice :I

I know where you're coming from, no matter what good kind of emotions there are in the world, it's the bad ones that make life a real pain.

Everyone was right on the money when they pointed to sarcasm, there's nothing more sarcastic than a soldier on the front line, I knew this one guy who joked with his buddy that he'd end up getting killed on the next patrol, he was genuinely concerned that his i-pod would get blown up with him and he'd have less of his stuff to gank. If you can laugh at that, I'd say you're in a good sarcastic mindset. In fact finding any way to laugh at someting you don't like is a good way to handle the feelings.

Also, my little friend mary jane picks up where the dime store hookers leave off, if you really don't want a care in the world, I'd give her a try, just remember that as good as she is, she'll let you down the moment you think you can just depend on her.

That's something I don't understand. How can someone be sarcastic and mean what they said? Isn't the point of sarcasm saying things you don't mean? So if you mean it when you said it, then it can't be sarcasm, it's lie then.

True, but it's such an obvious lie that you believe it, being too sarcastic gives you too much self belief, but not using any can put you in a delusional state. The sheer irony of sarcasm draws our attention and can be a useful tool for coping and observation. It can get very confusing from here because of the very nature of sarcasm.

Try learning to juggle sometime.

It's easy to use emotional detatchment as a defense mechanism towards other people's feelings, so why not my own?

Why not???

You have feelings no matter what, and you might realize that they're all good feelings. I mean the hate feeling is great when you need to throw a punch or assert yourself.

The love feeling helps you get along with the right people.

The sad feeling helps you express yourself when you can't find the words.

But sometimes these emotions go too far and create unnecessary drama (a woman hates her husband and won't stop crying about it even though people are tired of listening to it).

Emotional detatchment in the form of self sarcasm (or sarcasm in general) can point out the irony of a situation and give you a sense of when the emotion should stop. Also, by contradictiing yourself in an obvious way, you'll sound credible because only a liar will believe themselves all the time.

I remember this one guy who wouldn't stop talking about himself, I mean he'd follow me around to fill me in on his personal details and he even had that BS smirk, not that I'm doing better, but at least I'm not gonna follow you around here and tell you how pneumonia made me a douchebag.