introverted NT vs introverted aspie

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Whats the difference? Can an NT that is introverted add to this conversation as well not just aspies.

Easy:

Someone without AS can partake in proper two-way reciprocal conversation, whereas the person with AS can't (it's either of the one-sided and lecturing make, or not at all, in the majority of cases; those who can appear somewhat normal are only reading from a script in their head--throw something unexpected at them and they'll stop and won't know how to continue).

Someone without AS who has an intense interest isn't seemingly controlled by it, and their life doesn't appear to revolve around it entirely, as they can do and complete things that aren't involving said interest without any allowances given.

From my understanding, it seems like an introverted NT would have around the same social ability as most people do, they would just rather not be social quite as much as most people. An Aspie would have some significant degree of impairment in their ability to socialize, whether they would like to be very social or not.

I would like to be more social, and i try to. I talk to people a lot. I just can't make it go very far in most cases. So i end up with a lot of acquiantances, but not very many that actually get to a "friend" level.

Introverted neurotypical here, with an introverted (and less so than me!) aspie or broader-autistic-phenotype boyfriend. While someone who only knows a tiny bit about Asperger's might mistake me for an Aspie, and even my boyfriend once wondered if I was on the spectrum because he'd never seen a temperament like mine in the neurotypicals he hangs out with (he's actually uncomfortable around other Aspies because his hard-earned and still limited people-reading skills don't work on them due to their quirky mannerisms), there are notable differences.

The important difference is in core Aspie traits like difficulties reading body language and sensory processing styles. An introverted neurotypical will process the physical senses the same way as any neurotypical, and so is less likely to be bothered by certain food textures, fluorescent lights, itchy clothing, etc., but may still not like large crowds full of loud people 'cause, hell, anyone who's not part of the action might find it hard to concentrate in those. And the introverted neurotypical will read (neurotypicals') body language with about the same accuracy as any other NT, and thus, to use an example from my life, are able to know that when their older sister shoots them a dirty look she wants them to shut up, while all that my boyfriend could get out of that was "OMG she's mad, probably at me, because I always assume that when people are mad, they're mad at me! I don't know what to do! I'm scared! I know, I'll suggest we do something I like so I can feel happy." My bf actually appears to be hyper-aware of other people's bad moods (some study came out recently that aspies are better than NTs at emotive empathy, right?), but unaware, when frightened of their bad moods, how to follow some of their non-verbal cues to appease them, if there's anything he can do to appease them.

There may also be differences in attentional style, insofar as intense focus is an aspie trait. Aspies may be able to focus more deeply and intensely on their hobbies than introverted neurotypicals. Oh, and don't forget movements...an Aspie with strong sensory processing differences may "stim" or fidget in those characteristic ways that people with sensory processing differences do, while an introverted neurotypical will just do the same kinds of fidgeting motions as other neurotypicals. The introverted NT will not carry himself or herself in a way other NT's find strange, but an introverted Aspie very well might.

Oh, and the rituals and routines stuff...the introverted NT is unlikely to have an attachment to rituals and routines to anywhere near the same degree as an Aspie of otherwise similar temperament. Change is likely to be less unsettling to an NT.

So, basically, the differences between introverted neurotypicals and introverted aspies are the same as between any neurotypical and any aspie, minus some of the differences in temperament that make up the neurotypical stereotype of the irksome flaming extrovert who thinks all introverts have some kind of disease or something. Thus, the introverted neurotypical might find common ground with the introverted Aspie, sometimes in ways they cannot with more extroverted neurotypicals. But as they get to know each other, their neurological differences will become more apparent.

In some cases it seems like it can be harder to tell the differences between an introverted Aspie and an introverted NT than would be expected. I'm a moderately introverted Aspie, or I think I'm at least somewhere on the spectrum. I can have reciprocal two-way conversations and my obsessions don't interfere with my ability to enjoy other activities. Or, at least I don't think that they do very much. However, I have a very poor ability with reading body language and facial expressions, and some other people tell me that I have a monotonous voice.

As far as I can tell, I'm "borderline" AS though it believe my AS traits used to be much stronger when I was young. Some would classify me as completely neurotypical and others would not. Ultimately, I don't really care. Also, all of the introverted vs. extroverted tests I've ever taken indicate than I am about 60% introverted and 40% extroverted.

Now that that is on the table, you can decide if I'm an introverted NT or an introverted Aspie

First, let me start off by saying that AS and intro/extroversion are relatively unrelated. That is, one can be introverted without the primary "cause" being AS, or one could be introverted with the primary "cause" being AS. (By "cause" I mean the neurological differences that make someone exhibit signs of Asperger Syndrome, not the syndrome itself.)

Keep in mind that we aren't born with personalities. These traits develop as we grow up. Therefore if you have a condition which makes it difficult to socialize with others, it's more likely that you would develop in a way which would favor time alone over time with others (introversion). Then again, you could be extraordinarily choosy about your peers and ignore the ones you don't get along with. In that case, you might develop into an extrovert under such circumstances. Or we possibly pick up intro/extroversion from our parents, regardless of our ability to handle social situations.

I'm somewhere in the middle of this. I can go on a lecturing binge and not really know how to stop or read cues that indicate that I should stop, yet I don't feel like I'm reading from a script when I have to engage in smalltalk. I bet you would find people here on WrongPlanet with AS that are the same way.

Then again, I don't think there is too much to learn with smalltalk, other than how to learn to be evasive at appropriate moments. If a subject doesn't interest me, then I have nothing to say. If a subject interests me a little bit (politics, for instance), then I find I can talk about it without completely dominating the conversation. If a subject really interests me, I'm doomed to lecture.

My guess is that someone with AS is much less likely to have mainstream thought processes and interests. That may or may not come out in conversation, depending on how open the person is about those interests. I also think that someone with AS is much more likely to be naive about society as a whole. I don't think that's as true of someone NT and introverted.

Basically, what I'm saying is that difference between someone with AS who is introverted and someone NT who is introverted is the same difference between someone with AS and someone NT in general. The introversion is merely how they express it to others.

I think you guys misunderstand inroversion and extroversion. It's not that introvert=shy.... introverts are just people who can't live without taking a moment once in a while to be alone with their thoughts. Extroverts on the other hand can't sit still if they're not doing something actively. While the general trend of introversion suits the shy people more, I know introvert people of whom you'd never in your life think they're introverts because they go out so much

There are degrees of this, too. I'm a very outgoing person who throws parties, yet I'm still convinced that I'm primarily an introvert. There are many times, however, when I just need to talk to someone, especially if there is something bugging me. Just telling other people about my thoughts makes me feel better.

I think that nothing (or almost nothing) that was written in this thread implyies "introvert =shy" (for me, "introvert=person who likes to be alone")

I think i'm an introvert in that sense. It's kind of a conflicting thing with me, though.. If i'm out and about around a lot of people, i do need time to wind down or else i'll just start getting really on-edge.. over-stimluated, i guess you could say. There are some days at work, since i work around a lot of people(i live in a small town though, so it's not the same as being a salesperson in a big city), that it's just too busy(probably would be "normal" for a bigger city). Since i've gotten pretty used to it, and i guess you could say i've been "de-sensitized" to a lot of it, i usually only have a meltdown if you add in managers getting on me about something or a lot of extra stress.. So i don't COMPLETELY freak out very often. But there are many days where i can feel it building up. Three people asking me about things at the same time, trying to deal with them one at a time since i can't multitask, and keeping track of who needed something(and trying to remember faces that all look the same!). I just need to wind down after that. Even a normal day off, going out to do something fun, can get stressful if there's a lot of crowds, so i have to have at least the same amount of time at home chilling out. A couple days ago i went to Busch Gardens, and i LOVE amusement parks... But i still need the time afterwards where i get a break from it. However, when i'm at home i usually have my parents around me, so i'm not completely "alone"... but i think of immediate family as different, since i've always been around my mom, dad, and sister(even though she's moved out now. ) When i want to be totally alone(at least from HUMAN company), i can go upstairs and mess with my animals though. I guess i actually like having contact with someone at most times, it's just often not a human someone. heh. I need animal presence in my life to some degree almost constantly, it's funny.
Although, even though i do need time alone with my thoughts, i really like to be around people(but preferably only in short-ish doses). I feel really lonely most of the time, and i've always longed to have even a little bit of the kind of friendships it seems everyone else has. I want to have a group of people who i feel close to, and i wish i had a "best friend" who i could always turn to to understand me and do things with. I don't like feeling like i'm on the sidelines watching, even when i'm around people i know. It seems like even with the friends i've had, i seem to get pushed to the sidelines whenever more people come into the picture, because i just don't fit right with the whole group thing. So, i often seek out human contact, even if it's with people who i'm likely not going to come across again. I like talking and voicing my opinions.. I've spent too much of my life just saying nothing because i don't know what i should say.. So, i like striking up conversations with people. The conversations do usually end up gravitating to the same things, but still. I try. So i think that, at times, i may come across as extroverted(even if also a bit eccentric). So i think the fact that i feel so lonely is what makes me have me seem "extroverted" at times. In fact, one of my co-workers, when i was talking about the social anxiety i used to have and being self-conscious about things, said that i didn't seem like the kind of person who would have problems with that... since i often seem like i just say whatever comes to mind. But then i'll also have my very "zoned out" times where i just stare at things and people think i'm being quiet and distant. All in all, i think i really require social contact just as much as NTs do, but because of being confused by it all i just can't deal with it for quite as long or make it work out nearly as well. And i do feel very disconnected from the rest of the world most of the time. Even when i'm around people, my mind kind of feels alone and boxed-off. Okay, i'm rambling. Anyone else have that problem that you just can't stop rambling on and on while trying to explain how you feel? lol.

The problem is some of us were that way as children but changed as we grew older. As an adult I'm okay at two-way conversation provided that either 1.) the other person "leads" the conversion (i.e. chooses the topic and asks most of the questions) or 2.) the conversation centers around shared interests. When neither of these is the case it feels like a script.


This is still true for me to some degree. I actually wish I could become lower functioning again. I was happier when my life completely revolved around one single special interest at a time. Now my interests are broader and less intense but I feel like something's horribly missing in my life.

This is something that's always on my mind, being a highly introverted person on the autism spectrum. I think introversion will always be the ultimate fate of the intelligent, self-aware, and self-conscious aspie.

As for myself I'm not completely sure where my autism spectrum issues end and where my personality traits begin. I'm not as shy as people see me. I can enjoy the company of others but I lack the spontaneity to truly interact in a group setting. I like to participate but I'm never quick enough verbally and it feels like nobody cares to give me a chance. This lack of speed and spontaneity seems to be my biggest social disadvantage. Yet I don't know if this is really a purely autistic trait as extroverted aspies don't seem to have as big a problem, while some introverted NT's seem to have issues similar to mine but to a lesser degree.

On the other hand I've always known that even the most introverted NT's seem to converse differently with other NT's than they do with me. Any conversation peters out more quickly with me, no matter who starts it. I actually do better with more dominant/ extroverted NT's who take more initiative and ask me questions. I hardly ever get a chance to even observe how introverted NT's perform socially because I can't just eaves drop on their one-on-one conversations with other NT's. Yet somehow they can make connections where I cannot.

I think perhaps my conversation style is too random. If I'm walking down the street with someone I'll often make observations about various subjects that come up. That's the style I find most stimulating though I never really get to know anyone that way. Asking the other person questions never goes anywhere for long. This might actually be an executive function thing. It's hard for me to persist in asking seemingly dull generic questions when I can't immediately see it leading to anything interesting. I don't handle things well when I feel like I have to preceed blindfolded. NT's on the other hand can just push themselves through the uncharted territory and eventually something sprouts up. I don't have that persistence. It tires me out. I have to actively resist the urge to go back to my typical random thoughts and observations.

Is anyone else generally introverted, but when they've known someone a long time and decided they're a nice person who's not gonna hurt them, opens up more around them?

I'm diagnosed AS and am also extremely introverted (I come out 100% on tests).

I had a meeting today. It was a formal one revolving around my interests and I did not feel much anxiety. However, throughout meetings such as this, I cannot determine when it is appropriate to talk, how exactly I am supposed to indicate I am paying attention, and how I am supposed to convey friendliness or lighten the atmosphere (which only ever occurs to me afterwards, sometimes, if I remember what my ex counsellor taught me).

If I were to behave naturally, my head would be turned away, there would be no eye-contact, and no nodding or other acknowledgement. Because this would make it extremely difficult for the other to communicate with me, I must keep consciously reminding myself to nod, occasionally glance up, manipulate my facial expressions to convey interest, and make sure my posture etc. is not too unusual.

I nod and say "yes" to acknowledge a point, but can never tell if it has worked; I rarely remember to volunteer information; when it's nearly time to leave, I get the timing wrong and rely entirely on the other to give a clear indication the meeting has ended. I can just about manage to spit out a brief, unceremonious "thank you" before walking straight out. If I were only introverted, it's highly doubtful I would have all these issues.

Yes. I can be myself and talk more, if it interests me. However, I still do not handle non-verbal communcation normally.

Well i are NT, i dare not chat with people, have no friends, no girlfriend, not even MSN, never go to parties, when in a group of people i stand silent in a corner while the others chat away, people try to cheer me up and fail... if that qualifies me as introverted (and i do score as introverted in the personality tests) then i'd be qualified to answer your question: the difference is the neurological state, a bunch of innerworkings of the central nervous system that is different in autistic people:

Autistic people have a monotone voice that doesn't carry any emotions, mine carries emotion.
Autistic people don't feel physical pain when they see someone being hurt, i do.
Autistic people have a cold brain, mine is hot.
Autistic people feel an extra kind of pleasure when their skin is pressed, i don't.
Autistic people can withstand cold temperatures very well, i can't.
Autistic people can't make warm eye contact, i can.
Autistic people have motor clumsiness, i own my body : )
Autistic people can't stand being touched, i don't mind it.

Basically i'm listing the symptoms of autism, except the tendency to routines, which i do exhibit but that's just my particular case.

Introverted NT's are either emo's, goths, pretends to be it, or is it because it's cool in their social group, but the AS introvertedness is uncompareable, because AS people, (at least i) don't give a s*** what people think of me at ALL