"Creepy" guys

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I have noticed that women often describe guys they do not want to date as "creepy". This is one of those overused ambiguous terms for women to describe a guy that gives them the wrong vibe. It can be associated with how you dress, your lack of confidence, no eye-contact/too much eye contact, your facial expression or lack of facial expression, talking about taboo or personal topics too quickly, etc. Yes, a lot of these are biased against people with AS as they can be very difficult to overcome... The fear of coming off as "creepy" can be a big wall to overcome when talking to women.

Discuss.

I had an instance where I was considered "creepy" because I didn't play by her rules. Every time I pointed out the fact that she always seemed to have something to hide, and she had no clue about how people really are, she got angry and always tried to avoid me, even to the point of blocking me from IM. All because I disagreed with her seriously distorted views on what constitutes a good personality.

URBAN dictionary defines creepy as:

Creepy 258 up, 41 down
adj. An overused slang term for sexually inappropriate or perverted or for attempting to derive sexual gratification through dishonorable means. Unfortunately, the word has become an abused favorite of melodramatic people who try hard to use the word wherever possible, to the point of rendering the word almost meaningless.
"I hate that really creepy guy who keeps trying to dance with me."

Well it can kinda be a blanket term for when something seems off about a guy, but you just can't quite put your finger on what it is. Otherwise, it wouldn't be "creepy" it would be more specific.
Even in other contexts "creepy" means the kind of "scary" where you don't know exactly what something is, just that it bothers you..

and "scary" just means you don't understand your own feelings about them, so it is easier to dump them into a catagory of 'uncomfortable' feeling. I remember when I was younger, men would attract me and affect my hormones, and if I had trouble trying to identify or (gasp) actually identify those feelings and realized I got sexually excited by them, I might think that THEY were feeling that way about me, too and it was too much for my immature emotions to handle. .

so I called them some version of 'creepy' and avoided them - when I was ME that was not really able to deal with them on a mature level.

something to think about.

Merle

I didn't know the definition of "creepy" until now (thanks sinsboldly ). But I used it mainly to refer to guys (or it could be applied to a girl in some cases/never met a girl I would apply it to though) who follow girls around & stuff like that. ex. The last guy I referred to as creepy is an aspie (I'm an autie but could find no other way to describe him) who followed me, my female friends & any other girl in HS (we both just graduated) constantly (in a stalking manner) & threw out random marriage proposals a lot since he was 18... you get the idea.

Hopefully I used it correctly.

True.. but at the same time, someone who you're uncomfortable with isn't someone you should be getting into a relationship with..
I may know logically that ghosts probably aren't going to hurt me, but that doesn't mean I want to date one.

And sometimes going with that gut feeling that something-isn't-right-about-this-guy will save your life. Less so for aspies who might not recognize it, and a shame for aspie guys when the something-not-right is asperger's.. But a lot of times, when something seems off about a guy, it's because he's dangerous.

From what I've seen, if a guy a girl is not interested in comes onto them, he is considered "creepy". But if a guy she likes does the excact same thing to come onto her, its ok.

Gotta love the double standard.

I do get alot of women saying that "there is just something about me" I think they know i'm different because of my AS and since they don't know what it is, it scares them.

I disagree with the OP, but I can't really explain why. Just that, guys I've considered creepy don't appear to have a personality, or an essence, and are therefore creepy...

Oh, there are definitely creepy women... I'm a lesbian and I've met a couple. What made them creepy?

Stroking and kneading my hand on the initial handshake. (major yuck!)
Staring at my breasts and then giving me a lascivious smile.
When I complimented the tatoo on her bicep (searching for some topic of conversation on a group hike), sleazily informed me she had other tatoos and would I like to see them sometime?
Followed my partner into a group shower to ostensibly take a shower at the same time... but I'd seen the sleaze-bot walk out of the shower with wet hair not 15 min. earlier.

Not many, but they're out there.

I hope I don't cum across as creepy?

Nooo, I think you're staring at the end of my nose, not my tits.

I'm wondering if I have a zit forming...

I reiterate this part of the definition:

for attempting to derive sexual gratification through dishonorable means.
this is what makes a guy a creep. this is the guy that does not bug off when you show them you are uninterested. What you are calling a 'double standard' implys that a woman should take on ANY man that shows a sexual interest in her. Are you sure that is what you mean?

Merle

Why aren't straight women like this? I guess there are but I just haven't met them...

The issue is that someone may actually derive sexual gratification through dishonorable means without being taken as "creepy" if they actually are good into deceiving someone onto it and they are not suspected of it or are very subtle, in that end he would not be seen as 'creepy' to the eyes of the potential victim (if there is a victim given that what is 'dishonorable means' would differ from each). Who is "creepy" or not is a very subjective issue based on the interpretation of a perception of the moment, and often related to taste, personality and often prejudice, and also a defense mechanism, and the problem of it lies on the accuracy, so yeah, I tend to agree with the part of the definition you provided, that the term "creepy" used (overused) in social context becomes almost (mostly) meaningless.

I should introduce you to my sister. Ugh. Though she may be more sleazy than creepy.

Probably the large disparity between numbers of creepy men and creepy women is that by and large in our society, women are the receivers of overt sexual advances rather than the perpetrators. Women indicate interest through flattery, coyness, artificial helplessness, and neediness.

Which is why a dominatrix can be so hot... a complete reversal of the usual role for women.

You might research women stalkers... that'd be the creepy sorts. Though I suspect they may actually be extreme versions of the needy, dependent type.

Just like with AS, symptoms of creepy females may present differently.

What, as a guy, would creep you out if a woman did it to you?