What do I say to him to get him to respond?

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I'm in a fairly new relationship that's nose-diving big time. Mostly because my non-diagnosed AS BF (I don't know if I am but share some attributes) - though he keeps saying he wants to meet up 'soon' - is solitary and very selective with the text messages he replies to.

Anyway, a week ago, when I was getting frustrated with him not coming up with a date when he would be free to 'meet up', I asked him if his promises last year to visit me (we live in different towns) and spend more time together were all lies and why he'd done it? He went silent after that and hasn't responded to my apologies, to the dates I proposed to him which I could make, to a promise to keep my emotions and expectations under control and a message from the heart sent today, saying that I missed him like crazy.

He's got fingernails chewed to the wick and I've seen him in meltdown after an 'intimate encounter' so I know he gets overloaded easily. I've put too much pressure on him, haven't I? What can I say to him to undo the damage? A message saying 'hope you're OK?' is not going to help, is it (I hate small-talk myself)?

Hurrah! I'm going to have to review my low opinion of small talk - it does work! I asked him if he was angry & he replied that he wasn't, just had lots to do. So much for all those other deep and meaningful messages designed to drag out an answer out of him...

Back off and let him alone until he approaches you or initiates contact. Or, if you do contact him, just keep it friendly and casual with no expectations. Let him miss you a little bit so that he'll want to interact with you and look forward to it, not avoid you because of guilt or pressure.

I do understand that not all NT's like this or find it acceptable....but if you want a long term relationship with him, he needs his space, and if you cannot be happy giving him space, it probably won't work.

And it is good to be direct, as in asking him if he was angry.