how should i get my boyfriend to show he really cares?

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he doesn't show any affection towards me anymore. i always stick up for him when my mom makes nasty comments about him, yet he doesn't stick up for me when my brother starts calling me bad names. he also thinks i should be on medication just because i behave better, but i never feel better on them. i admit i haven't been the best to him, but what he's doing cuts far deeper. i have been in a bad relationship before and i don't want to get hurt again

you can't ever get anyone to do anything first of all....we only have control of our own actions. And some may not control themselves very well. If he is making you feel a certain way I would suggest talking to him about it. First by lettin him know just how important he is to you, and how very much you love him. Next, keep in mind you can't make him love you, or force him to express it how you want him to. The only thing you can do is ask him if and how much he does, and let him express it in his own way. Anything less will never be reassuring enough for anyone because it isn't him...you made him do it.

Personal I have to say that we can't control others, but I feel that its shameful that a man won't be a gentleman and stand for and by his lady

I agree with Doug_Doug, rarely can someone that dosn't want to do it be manipulated into giving someone else what they don't want to give. If you don't want to get hurt, then don't invest more into him than he is willing to give you. A partnership is just that, partnersdoing giving and taking, not one doing all the giving and one doing all the taking.

just take care of yourself, dragonlady, you seem like a generous loving soul.