Overcoming AS

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I know I got a lot of heat for the last thread I did and got quite a bit of flames for it and people who might've taken it the wrong way. I apologize for that. Instead, I'm going to create a thread where people can say how they have "overcome" the symptoms of AS. Post your accomplishments, anything. Just have fun.

And I promise, I won't be full of pride this time like I was last .

(P.S. I don't think your other thread was prideful at all.)

In high school, I really liked the theater program, but I didn't like the idea of acting, so I joined the stage crew. I read the manual on the sound board in a day, and the next class I was teaching the resident "pro" a few tricks he didn't know about. Just like that I went from Freak to Geek and had some friends to sit with at lunch. (That was weird, you know, to sit in the commons with everyone else instead of sitting in the back corner of the library. And I only joined them once or twice a week for about the last ten minutes of lunch, just because it was so loud.)

I also took a creative writing class to see if I couldn't learn how to write a little less analytically...and once I learned that Creative Writing isn't just about writing poems or novels, I actually got some stuff published in the monthly literary magazine! (Because I learned I have a wicked sense of humor since I have a tendency to take things literally.)

And one of my stims is to tap incessantly, so I took a percussion class that at least taught me some basic rhythms to tap out so it's not quite as "annoying" to other people.

I've posted before about being a hand-flapper until I joined the Navy at 17 (being under age I had to convince my parents to sign me up), to put myself into an environment to forceably stop this behavior. It worked, however I still had to fight the urge for the next 7 years or so. This was probably my most outward manifestation of AS, but I battle many more subtle symptoms every day. To those who find it hard, I encourage you to fight the good fight, but choose your battles wisely. What you find imporatant to overcome may not be a priority to the next Aspie.

I also think that joining the military 18 years ago helped me to overcome some of the things I did.
The pros of the military is there are defined rules (for the most part)
You get to wear the same clothes every day
you do your job and you don't have to socialize, just get the job done.

Our son, who is 11 and in the 5th grade, has overcome alot of the more obvious "outward manifestations" of his AS at school, particularly the handflapping and spinning around. Just this week however he had to give a presentation with a partner to a panel of teachers who don't know him (and therefore are unaware of his dx) and out of his class of 20 who did 10 presentations as partners, our son received, among other things, the "Best Eye Contact" award.

We've been working on this for a year, he has beautiful eyes with long sweeping eyelashes, but they always look closed because he looks so intently to the ground all the time. He was very proud of himself. He did need to come home after school and spend two hours in his room, just spinning on his own chair, listening to his favorite cd, to bring himself down and calm himself or relax out of it. It did leave him very hyper. But with 7 more years until he is done high school, we are very hopeful.

aspiesmom1,

You and your son sound like you are on a path which should lead to many accomplishments. (Especially in the dichotomy of controlling AS at times and at other times letting it go). Congratulations and best wishes to you!

I was just into the right kinds of things interest-wise, got myself in with the right type of NT crowd, and learned lots from em. As for my end of the deal, for about 5 or 6 years I really gave it my all, put 200% into trying to beat it out of myself, treated it like it was life or death, and before that I'd really started to wonder if maybe everyone really did feel like I did and that I just had no idea what it really was to really push myself - now I've at least found the boundaries of what I can and can't control pretty well - my social skills are pretty good (though my ability to use em as I'd like isn't always fully there, then it's just damage control mode). At least right now though I have more than enough guy and girl friends, part of that is the fact that a lot of the people I know are really outgoing or they're the type of guys that other people do tend to gravitate to. Its been great for being able to go out bar-hopping and know at least 7 or 8 people who are there at all times, I've met at least 7 or 8 new people since I've moved into my friend's place and while I'm not hanging with em regularly I am at least adding a lot of pretty solid aquaintences as well as catching up with some friends who I hung out with from 1999 to 2002 and really hadn't seen much of since.

I think the thing that's helped me a lot is just getting well in touch with my empathy, figuring people out, figuring out how to talk to people, and usually the way I edge in when I wanna talk to people is smooth and positive and tend to put the more positive edge of guiled-up NT demeanor on pretty well at least when I'm emotionally in the zone. Its that feeling like I can pretty much approach anyone and have a good conversation with em as long as I can see that they're opened for that (feeling that up is something I've gotten pretty good at). Just being positive, not being judgemental, then again not seeming passive or flimsy about it - giving em a firm handshake in terms of a crisp positive vibe and trying to send them that kind of energy. Its something to where when people see that in your eyes and see that you wanna talk to em 'on the level' they usually can't help but react positively to that.

Wow, joining the military? That's amazing. Honestly, if I were told to hold a gun and shoot at someone, I just wouldn't be able to do it. Killing something would just get me psychologically.

...however, killing someone in a video game is something different...

As I mentioned in another thread, I am a Market Development Consultant.

In laymans terms, I research markets from an economic standpoint for a national bank/mortgage company.

Things I look at are- median income, average home value, rate of appreciation, number of purchases, number of new builds, competitive penetration, and average churn time (the length of time a borrower in that market holds a particular mortgage).

I take that information, and use it to help loan officers develop a strategic plan of what to target to increase their business. In a market with high levels of appreciation and high median incomes, that may be to colicit business from financial planners to help increase equity transactions.

In a market with lower home values, I'll probably talk about how to target FHA/VA business.

Right now, a lot of what I am doing is getting loan officers to go back to their book of business and resell fixed rate products to those that were originally sold on ARM's, many of whom are now looking to refi, as well as looking for ways to recognize outside business. For example, many home builders love short-term ARMS to offer attractive rates to their buyers, so a mailer to a neighborhood 1-2 years old can be a solid way to get new customers.

Along with training the sales force, the other half of my job is showing management where rate cuts (or increases) can improve business. A highly competitive market that also shows good growth is probably a place to target. Or, if we have a high percentage of the market, we don't have to worry about being the lowest rate, as our business will have a certain amount of momentum on its own.

I lead conference calls hours out of every day. I am constantly presenting to both our sales force and upper management, and give kind of a "state of the market" speech to a large group every other month.

I'm 24. I'm by far the youngest person in my position.

I'm also far and away the best at it, and I believe most of that is due to my ability to look at a large amount of information, make accurate decisions on what is most important, and be able to explain that to others.

Heck, I haven't even finished my economics degree yet. I've been promoted twice in three months.

I absolutely love my job.

My bosses do know I have AS, and they stack the deck to help ensure I am being put in positions where I will be successful. For one, they are careful to make sure that I meet senior management in situations where they can mediate and give me cues as far as what is expected of me socially, or how in depth I shouldgo on a subject.

My work is also tremendously accomodating to the challenges I have. Its not easy to make it through a day at times. Earlier this week, I had a meltdown at work. Way too much sensory overload, and I ended up getting pretty hysterical as the situation deteriorated. I was able to get to our "quiet room" a dark, quite room with comfortable chairs, to allow me to calm down (I utilize this room whenever feeling frazzled), and once I felt better, I ended up going home for the day.

Anyways, thats what I do and stuff.

My military experience was as a cook on an Oiler out cruising the Mediterranean and North Atlantic. I didn't have much to do with guns, but I'm a pretty good aim.

This is off topic, I know, but still--where did you look to find that job? And what did you do to get it?

I actually started outside the mailroom doing very basic data entry stuff, and worked my way up from there.

At one point I was promoted into loan processing. I got my current job on the basis of some heavy recommendations from several mortgage branches I was processing applications for. People took notice because their volume on the mortgage program that I was processing tripled, and when asked why, they said it was all because of me- showing them how the guidelines worked out to allow them to exploit several niches in their markets.

It then came out that I was going to school for economics, and I managed to demonstrate enough knowledge (actually a lot more than enough) to get them to take a chance on me.

I started out as doing fairly basic work on the sales support side, and then have been promoted up and given more latitude on what I am allowed to do, and the scope of what I look at.

Overcoming AS is possible. no one has to be an Aspie unless they choose to keep being an Aspie.

Those who have grown-out of it, have GROWN UP. and I am very proud of them. They have became NTs... became what they were meant to be so they can actually have a useful life.

It to Me not a matter over overcoming AS is possible or is not possible. It to to Me EXPLAINS what I am in the end nothing more than that in the end. Being Myself is more important than having Aspergers or anything else in the end. It is not a matter of growing-out of it, it is a matter of Living with it, and learning from it in the end nothing more than that. It not a matter of Labels or being Labeled onething or another thing in the end that is important. It is being Yourself nothing more or less in the end. We All have Our Lives to Live the Best Way We can Live them for Ourselves. That is what makes Our Lives Useful in the end. I like Myself as I am in the end very much. I would not trade it for anything at all in the end.

I have OVERCOMED A LOT IN MY LIFE.

By LIVING MY LIFE NOBODY ELSES.

Steve_Cory said

What a supremely ignorant post. You evidently don't have a clue what AS is. It's not a lifestyle choice. Yes, it's possible to "grow out" of adolescent thought-patterns, which some Aspies retain longer than they should. Yes, it's possible to overcome many of the difficulties caused by AS, either by attacking them directly or by devising a "workaround". But you can never become NT, however much you may "pass" as one.

Against all my expectations as a youth, I've been useful to thousands of people in my working life and even more useful to hundreds of people outside it. I've led a very fulfilling life indeed, which my AS has enabled and empowered. AS caused me a lot of pain and suffering for many years, but ultimately what AS enabled me to achieve has made my life meaningful and full not with superficial happiness but deep joy. I wouldn't have changed it for the world. Aspies have unique qualities which when applied rightly can be very useful to society in all sorts of ways. If they find the confidence they can be very high achievers.

Another pearl of wisdom from kevv729:



alblurt_06 said



I prob'ly will when I've calmed down a bit, if I can overcome my modesty.
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the first thirty years were the worst... so glad I survived them somehow

I can't say I'd go that far. Maybe your aren't understanding all the facets of what it is that hold us back - its not all related to stuff like that. Its body-language problems, sensory overload, none of which is psychosomatic. To this day no matter how much I forces myself to feel the grimiest and darkest emotions for years just trying to get myself "feeling" like an adult internally. Thats a point of embarassment I'll be fighting with for years to come because the second I relax the second that corner of my physiology wants to sling me right back to being innocent, not really taking on responsibility, not being an adult at all emotionally (aside from just behaving well and doing what I have to) and while I bust that side of myself up as much as I can people can just still sense it in me and still cope fine, its unfair just how much that seems to vibe through and effect people (women particularly). If willpower and open-mindedness to try everyting imagineable could fix all this, I guarantee there'd be a lot more of us doing exactly as well as we want in all areas.