Describe your child's first two years

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I wasn't there but my husband told me my stepson walked late, didn't talk until he was 4 and had numerous ear infections. He also suffered intense separation anxiety and he still does, and he is 13. He can not be away from his mom or dad for any amount of time, besides school. When he is with his mom, he calls his dad about 10 times a day after school.

6yo ds Has a diagnosis of HFA. Now that I have been through 4 pregnancies, I can say that he seemed to have sensory issues from the time he was in the womb. He went crazy kicking when anything pushed against my stomach and sometimes literally turned all the way over when I so much as buckled my seatbelt. He never slept...not more than 2 hours at a pop until he was 2yo. He loved to line things up, and had no words at all until he was 2, though he could identify every letter of the alphabet when asked at 18 months. His first word wasn't mama or dada. It was "D", as in the letter D. He seemed to be too smart for his age. For example, even though he couldn't speak, at the age of 12 months he would want to eat very specific food combinations----he would hang on the fridge and yell until we finally guessed what they were. They would be odd things like a combination of green olives and frozen corn. Once he got what he wanted he was as happy as a clam. Had a terrible time with transitions---when my husband left for work he would throw a 45 minute fit, then again when he got home. Always loved animals. They were the only toys he played with and still does.

5yo dd has a diagnosis of PDD-NOS. She seemed to develop pretty typically. Did a little more "spacing out" than a typical kid and seemed to have a lot of trouble understanding what was being said to her. At that time she seemed a little slow, but now that she has language she tests out at genius levels. Literally. But she has such a hard time putting her thoughts together so she is perceived as a little slower than her typical peers. When she is able to express her thoughts, sometimes the profundidty of them scares me...especially the questions she asks. She never had "classic" symptoms like lining things up, but she still has a ton of sensory issues. Her sensory stuff is way more noticable than the sensory issues of my ds, who has the straight up autism diagnosis.

No one here has an official diagnosis. I'm actually the only one I really think might have it. My son has a school diagnosis, which is their way off addressing his social awkwardness (which can be attributed to his antisocial mother, me), and not knowing a few basic things that I honestly hadn't tried to teach him. I do believe he has ADHD or at least is a personality often classified as such.

What I know of my infancy is that I would play quietly by myself and given everything else that was going on with my older siblings, I was allowed to carry on doing so. Not much else is remembered.

For contrast, my very active/adhd son has always been that way. In the womb, his kicks were painful from the first one I recognized. As a newborn, he went ape every time a nurse came to check his belly button and had the loudest cry I think I've ever heard. He hit some physical milestones ahead of his sister, a little bit. He hit verbal milestones well after, but she was precocious speech-wise, so we got nothing from that. He has always shown great strength of body and will. You can negotiate with him but not reason with him.

being the last child born after two remarkably"adjusted" girls, my son was what I thought a boy should be until the obsessions with trains, noise aversion and complete lack of common sense to safety had me worried. He is incredibly bright and was always "hyper" social. But eventually the kids in his class or group figure out something is weird and abandon him or bully him . He is a picky eater(shocked!) and very easily arguemenative. He has absolutely no concept of authority at age 10 now. We are working on it but man is it scary sometimes. Finally got a sped day school placement for him but I don't know if that will be any better in the long run. Have had discussions with him wrapped in a blanket on my bed about Plato's cave and other philisophical questions. Thats all fine and good but we need to get him alligned with some societal norms or he is going to have a painful adult life. Just doing the one day at a time now but worried about the long haul.

My 6 year old dd was just recently diagnosed with AS.

When she was born, we had some questions (not about ASD's, though). She spit up blood and I was told it was because I was nursing, but I'm quite sure it wasn't. She ended up spending an extra night in the hospital, but they just diagnosed her with gastritis. They put her on reflux meds and sent us on our way. Never had any other gastric bleeding issues, as far as I know. As an infant, she was a very content baby. We lived with another family and our daughter was so much calmer. She was a lot later on things, too, though. We had some issues with back arching which we had her evaluated by EI for. They said it was atypical, but that it was probably due to reflux, though she didn't seem to be in any pain from it. She was very observant and took everything in. She was also a rocker...she would just lay on the floor and rock when she got overwhelmed. She doesn't do that anymore. At about 13 months, I noticed that she wasn't turning in her crib when I came in the room. We had her hearing tested and they concluded she had some hearing loss, but it was probably due to fluid in her ears. At 16 months, she got tubes put in her ears, but that didn't solve the problem. A month later, we found out she was profoundly deaf. That changed our world, of course. We got hearing aids, but they didn't work well. We learned sign and she took off. She was so hungry for communication. She learned her colors amazingly fast...letters, numbers...any type of symbol, she got it down very fast. At 2 yrs 3 months, she got her first cochlear implant. Then she really took off with the language. I couldn't believe how quickly she caught up...except her pragmatic language. We moved to our current location when she was 3 1/2 and her teachers alerted us that she was behind physically and would likely need OT and PT. We started that up, but it didn't seem to be helping a lot.

As she got older, we started to see more issues in the classroom. She was in a small class, but we started seeing hitting and other types of socially inappropriate behavior. It's hard to explain what exactly it was...just that it wasn't normal. She spoke very loudly and was very "in your face." She seemed to have no concept of personal space at all. Her sister was also getting old enough to communicate with, so we started having more issues at home. I am so thankful for her pre-k teachers who really alerted us that there was more going on that just deafness. At this point, she could hear and speak with her cochlear implants, but she still wasn't getting the pragmatic language. All the professionals said "Well, deaf kids take longer to catch up." The problem was that she had caught up in all other areas, except social functioning. After an absolutely terrible kindergarten year that included 3 visits to the principal and 2 suspensions, we decided to have her evaluated by a psychologist to see what was going on. Finally, we've got our diagnosis....a relief that there is something there, but terrifying to know that this will never "click" for her, like so many people have said it would. I'm so proud of her though...she's doing so well in first grade this year.

snowbordnwifey, thank you so much for sharing all that! You and your child have already been through a lot. Having the diagnosis, you will find, has handed you keys. Most of the AS deficits can be accommodated for, so there is a lot of hope. You mostly needed to know that you had to accommodate. The whole road will be up and down and up and down ... basically, like its been so far. But you will all be fine.

We knew my daughter was different from the beginning, but didn't have a name for it until a few months ago (she's 6 now). Now we know it's Aspergers.

As an infant, I felt terrible because I tried and tried to breast feed and she never latched on correctly to the breast and was starving if I didn't follow up immediately with a bottle. She was colicky, had terrible problems with gas pains, and was generally fussy unless she was rocking. Hated to be swaddled as an infant and freaked out if there was anything at all constricting about her clothing, like elastic on the wrists or bows in her hair.

Hit milestones early, but not in the typical way. She never crawled...she sat in her playpen for 2 weeks doing odd repetetive movements, refusing to be picked up or touched, and then all of a sudden just started walking at 9 months. Started talking at 1 year, but never repeated the same word twice. She would say a word and we'd never hear her say it again.

Lots of problems with aggression as a toddler...throwing things and having temper tantrums (sometimes for 4 hours straight) at home, and biting, hitting, kicking at daycare. Guaranteed meltdown if we took her to a grocery store, Wal-Mart...and I will never forget the mistake that was taking her to Disney World at age 3.

Never played with a lot of toys. Obsessed with lining up Thomas the Train cars, building with Legos and blocks, and has had obsessions over the years with collecting every single one of a type of toy like My Little Ponies or Littlest Pet Shop. She gets these huge collections and then lines them up and compares them to the advertisements in the boxes to see how many she has left to get. As she's gotten older, her interests also include puzzles and word searches.

She's always been messy and unaware of her appearance. I have at times sworn that she sweats syrup because I can bathe her, and she's sticky and dirty again before I can finish drying her off! If there is dirt, mud, water...she's in it. As a small child she would stand on a stool by the sink and wash her hands for an hour at a time.

Didn't potty train until she was 5 years old, and still has some accidents at 6 and a half.

Was never really good with eye contact...staring when it's not appropriate...and then when she talks to people she walks in circles staring at the ground or the sky. This has gone on since she started talking.

Always has been very defiant/argumentative, but once a rule is established she will never break a rule...it's just a huge argument leading up to the acceptance of the rule. Also has always had trouble with any break in routine. When she was 2, we placed egg timers all over the house to signal that a change was about to happen.

My theory is that while we have a strong genetic history of autism on both sides of the family, that her birth was the trigger....I was in labor for 36 hours, she was breech with the cord around her neck, had repetative losses of oxygen and trauma during birth...I was 10 cm dialated for 5 hours with no progression down the birth canal when my doc finally did an emergency C-section. I think this is why she showed symptoms immediately while some other kids seem normal until later...it was her traumatic birth that set off the autism.

eeyore-- Had to laugh about the arugumentative thing. My son is the SAME way. He could argue until you think you'll pass out from the exhaustion of trying to deal with it. But once he accepts it, it's like the rule is etched in stone.

Not that it's funny when you are dealing with it. In the midst of one of his arguing tirades I will often do what someone once advised me to do: say, "I love you too much to argue with you. I've given the answer and now I'm done talking about it." One mom I know uses "flexibles". She will tell her kids she will be flexible on her decisions a maximum of 5 times a day. So when her kids argue if the issue isn't critical, she'll say, "I can be flexible on this one. You have four flexibles left today." I think that's a great idea! It gives them the feeling of having at least some control.

I believe i have AS and i know my son does as he was dx'd in 3rd grade.

His first two years...

He was a pretty healthy baby. Medically, he was born with clicking hips, so he had to wear a body harness to keep him in the fetal position 24/7 for 6 more weeks. Worked like a charm! After it came off, we sent him to daycare so i could go back to work. Even at 3 months, the daycare workers said he had character and that he knows what he wants, only cried when hungry or wet. When he started walking, he moved to the older kid class at daycare. He was physically early with almost everything. Walking, sitting up, crawling, rolling over. He rolled to his side the day he was born and continued it cause he liked sleeping on his side. So, everyday i would drop him off and he ran right to the toy box. No kisses or bye bye. No crying he wants his mommy. They even mentioned he was the only baby who didn't cry!

He was under age 1 and already a couch potato. He would sit there and watch whole movies (like Elmo in Grouchland, which he watched over and over). He didn't really play with the toys we got him, he just threw them around. He never pretend played except the occassional vroom vroom from a car. But, he sure lined them up pretty good!

At 18 months, he went in for his well exam. I was concerned with his talking, or lack of it. He knew about 3 words. I told the ped about it and they said we will wait and see. If he still only uses this many at 2, we will evaluate him. So, age two visit comes around, he knows 20 words! Only a few he used alone, the others were just that he was able to say them after us. I told the dr and she wasn't concerned.

He has been a picky eater since he started baby cereal.

He was very attached to his pacifier day and night. So much i had to put 3 or 4 extra ones in his crib in case he lost one during the night. When he woke up in the morning, he did not cry to get out. He sat in there and played with the crib toy that attaches to the bars. He would sit in there for a long time and never would say a peep. I would have to get up and go get him.

He was a very easy baby and even skipped the terrible two's completely.

There's not much more i remember his first two years.

I have voiced my concerns about him but back then, AS was so new that it was never considered and the reason he had such a late dx. Had i known more about autism back then, i would definitely think he was hfa of pdd.

Now that i know and i look back, i get sad i didn't see the signs. Like everytime we went under a bridge he would say "whoooo" or everytime we were in the car he would rock left and right. These lasted for years! And then he would be our navigator everytime we went somewhere, telling us which way to go and knowing where we were going. In K my son got an award for "mathmatician and time keeper." It wasn't til my daughter was born and grew for me to find out how different they really were. My daughter talking way earlier, string words together by 2 (he was by 3), and although she has a speech delay, she knew stuff that he still has problems with. She is not reading and has started K, she cannot count to 100 or add and subtract, tell time and know when something is suppose to happen like he did when he was in K. I don't even know what is typical anymore. lol!

Son is 3.5 and currently DX with mild Asperger's -- whatever that means!

First child. My mother began expressing concerns in his second year. Felt she noticed changes at a little under a year. It was all new to me and I admit an element of denial. I had this image of autism as (1) a lack of affection/attachment and (2) a child in the corner not interacting. The extremes, if you will.

My son has always been incredibly attached to me and liberal with the hugs, kisses, smiles.

Born full term, vaginally, no drugs, almost 10 lbs, very alert.

Out of the gates, he was a light and difficult sleeper -- resorted to cosleeping to maintain sanity. Would wake up the second he realized I was not there and I admit I was never really able to let him fully "cry it out." We used the Arm's Reach contraption that attached to the bed ... for the first two years.

Very attached to breastfeeding; looked to nurse the second he was born/handed to me. It was as if he needed it to calm down. Also needed it when frustrated. Or hurt. Or over-stimulated. Weaned at 3. Did not even want soild food until 12 months. Still a fussy eater -- but accepts a variety of textures/tastes (raw food, spicy foods, cold foods, etc.) Husband was also fussy eater as a child.

Work 2x weekly -- always greeted me enthusiastically when I returned. Learned my schedule and was tense the evenings before work days (this started very young). Attached to his grandparents (his care givers ... when I work).

In hindsight, his second year was the hardest. He had bad eye contact with most non-family members, he did not respond to his name, he showed no interest in kids (lots of interest in animals - lol), he ocassionaly did "the line-up" (I remember seeing this maybe 15 times). His speech -- while there -- was improving at a snail speed.

He was referred to a dev. pedi. based on hand flapping ... something he still does with excited. (For the first two years he pretty much screamed through all his pedi sick visits. Oddly, he never had an issue with the pediatric dentist.)

For us, the third year has been a lifting of the fog. He wants to be with other children. He engages in more creative play. He potty trained within a week when he was ready. He is open to trying bikes and outdoor toys. He wants to go to school. He has mastered the mouse and computer learning games.

My mother says ... 'he is coming out of it.' I think she really believes it is something he can leave behind. Like a cocoon.

We still struggle with conversational language. And his fine motor skills -- especially drawing/writing -- need work. But I feel much more hopeful these days. He has always had a good memeory and good orientation skills. Loves books and nature and books about nature - lol.

We are starting either school or home services very soon -- it should be interesting to see how he changes/accomodates these things.

Jonahsmom-I like the idea of a certain number of "flexibles". I tried the other side of this approach...I would talk things through with her on most things, but then if there was no other option I would tell her "this is not negotiable". That worked ok for a while...then one day she was absolutely stuck on wanting to have her snack before her homework was done, instead of the snack being a reward for completing homework. (I've tried snack first before and she will spend an hour eating a fruit roll up to avoid the homework) She put her hands on her hips and said "Mommy, I had a long day at school. I am tired and hungry and will not be able to work on my homework because my sugar levels are low. I need my snack now, and this is not negotiable".

ROFL so much for that approach.

eeyore: LOL! Well, know that the flexibles can work that way, too. The friend who told me about it was laughing as she told me because now her two year old will say to her, "Mommy, this is my LAST flexible today!"

Well, it sounds like your dd definitely knows her stuff! I don't know about you, but when my son is that articulate, I thank my lucky stars every time. There was a time when I wasn't sure I would ever hear a complete sentence, so communication is lovely, whether used for arguing or not.

My son has PDD-NOS and sensory issues. He was colicky for the first six months. We tiptoed around him because he was so easily agitated. I couldn't open his bedroom door at night and check on him because as quiet as I was, he'd immediately wake up. I couldn't rock him to sleep like I could my older son. He just wanted to be alone. I could always tell that something was not quite right. He didn't seem to bond with me (but now that he's older we're very close). I'm the huggy kissy kind of mom but he didn't seem to reciprocate. For some reason I got mastitis about five times while breastfeeding him but not my other two kids. He would get upset while breastfeeding and prefer a certain side. Clothes always bothered him. He was always so dramatic. No problems with speech or development milestones.

He's doing a lot better now and despite his quirks, he's a bit more easy going (though he does get bothered by things more than is typical).

My daughter is 21/2 and I am surprised after reading through these how few people have had the same problems I've had. Most of them showed signs of aspergers after 3. I believe the first week my daugter was home from the hospital I knew something was wrong.

It started with the non-stop crying and no sign of self soothing. She engaged with me with eye contact, but wouldn't allow anyone else to hold her or for me to put her down. When I had to set her down for any reason she would scream as through she was in pain.

She never slept. For the first 3 months it was 2 hours on 2 hours off. By the time she was 18 months she slept through the night for the first time. Now at 21/2 she sleeps very little. never more than 9 hours in a day and wakes up in the middle of the night frequently.

When she was a year old she began hurting herself. She seemed like she just had this anger that couldn't be calmed by anything. I felt like nobody understood what I was going through. My husband was deployed and I was pregnant and she would smash her face on things, rip out her hair and bite herself. This was the worst time for us, her tantrums would last more than 80percent of the time she was awake. My friends and family couldn't stand being around us.

We just had her diagnosed a month ago because of her age, they considered her to be hyper sensitive before this. She is slowly slipping behind in her milestones, but I'm hopeful that with the classes offered here for her, things will improve. Our biggest problem are still her meltdowns, preventing them and teaching her how to interact appropriately with other kids.

Still, I'm very surprised that most kids haven't showed early symptoms like this? It makes me wonder how extreme of a condition my daughter has.

I really don't think the sleeping habits of a baby are related to ASD. I have a (now) 8 yr old son who is NT and when he was a baby he just took cat naps. He never slept any proper amount of time. He would feel me lowering him into the crib and wake up and start crying. I was phenomenally sleep deprived, like a real I feel like I'm losing my mind! He was very curious and getting into everything. We had to move all our books and bookshelves into the garage because he kept taking all the books out. Putting them higher didn't matter, the kid would find something to stand on to get at the higher books.

I think it is the milestones that mean more. He hit every milestone early. The pediatrician would ask me questions and always say 'I have no worries with this boy'. He babbled at 3 months, crawled at 5 months and walked at 7 months. At his 7 month appt, the doctor asked if he was crawling and I said 'no he's walking' and the doctor set him on the floor away from me and he walked to me. My NT daughter was the same. Their father (my ex) said it runs in his family (walking early).

Now my husband told me my stepson was a good baby, not fussy and slept well. He has NVLD and PDD-nos. All that was fine but it was the milestones that he wasn't hitting. He didn't speak or even babble and he never crawled. In his 2nd year he started to walk, without ever having crawled. He used to just sit and play with what was around, he wasn't curious and getting into everything. He wasn't lining things up. The main thing was he wasn't talking or babbling. And boys often talk later so my husband never saw it as a big concern. Of course now the kid talks non-stop! lol