Do I have Asperger's Syndrome? Anyone diagnosed as an adult?

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I'm 34 year old graphic designer and mother of four.
The first time I ever heard about Asperger's was only a year ago. The more I read about it the more I was convinced I had it eventhough many traits do not fit me.

I'll start with some fact about me. Please let me know if I fit in, this will answer so many questions and self-doubt I had throughout my life.

1. Had a very few friends growing up. Did not know how to make friends, how to approach other children, how to initiate conversation. Would sometimes walk by myself (not feeling happy by myself at all, rather feeling terribly inferior)

2. Great fascination with nature, sunset, wind through trees. Remember myself as a small child staring out the window at the orange and purple colors in the sky (sunset).

3. Loved music since I was little. Would try to play some tuned on the piano by myself. Poetry: loved writing it as of the age of 12.

4. Eyes very sensitive to sunlight. Still remember an incidence where I was 4 or 5 in the garden having my photo taken, could not open my teary eyes for the pictures.

5. Bad tolerance to perfume and strong fragrances, get a terrible headache and can feel the taste in my throat. Always thought it was related to my allergies and asthma.

6. Very bad at sports as a kid (forget teaching me Taekwando, tennis, ski)

7. Melancholic feelings even as a small child

8. Daydreaming in class

9. Only focusing on the teacher if the material was extremely interesting to me, otherwise 15 minutes of attention is the maximum I could pull up, then I'd resort to scribbling, doodling and drawing to be able to focus some more.

10. Fail to follow instructions, even as an adult, have to rely on other people to tell me what was said and expected.

11. Cannot listen to a lecture even as an adult if the speaker does not animate with examples and use visuals. I also noticed that I can actually follow much better if the speaker uses a faster speech.

12. Examples, examples: Cannot understand many verbal statements without getting/visualizing examples.

13. JOKES. Until university, I felt stupid. I used to pretend I got the humor in the joke I heard, and fake a smile. Then, I got transformed into a silly adult with a great sense of humor and appreciation of comedy.

14. Touch. I get into these phases where I cannot stand someone touching my arms or thighs. As a child my family did not take me seriously and always linked it to some vitamin deficiency.

15. Sounds. Could not, cannot, will not stand the sound of someone eating, crunching munching and all that sort of noise.

16. Background noise: Am aware of a lot of background noise but does not bother me at all. The sound of a jackhammer can just blend into the background and seem like a rhythm to me. It is the sudden loud sounds (like thunder... I hate thunder) that startle me and turn on all alarm bells in my head.

17. Fabric: Cannot tolerate synthetic fabric. It makes me sweat. Also If I touch polyester, I feel the static on my skin, it dries out and becomes rough and intolerable.

18. Anxiety, my biggest problem. It is growing as the number of my children grows.
It started as a kid as a fear of losing my mother and has moved on to a fear of harming my children, losing them, putting them in danger, accidentally dropping the baby out the balcony, having them run into the streets and get hit by a car.... etc
The anxiety attacks hit me as I am trying to fall asleep and visualize the some of situations listed above. I cannot trust even my husband to take the children somewhere as I have to make sure he put on the child-locks, held their hands while going to the store etc...

19. Clutter: Messy, messy, unorganized. Hate it but cannot help it. Love being organized, but cannot manage to keep things in order, the result; clutter and a frustrated husband.

20. To-Do-Lists: what rescues me whenever I need to accomplish tasks, be it at work or at home.

21. Super sensitive about others view of me. Very self-conscious.

22. Team work? exhausts me. The give and take between people drains the energy out of me. Manage it well when I have to but much prefer doing things myself.

23. Walking encyclopedia? NO!

24. Memory: HORRIBLE. Cannot remember so many details that my friends recall from school. Bad short term memory too.

25. Sense of direction? That of a three year old, maybe. Always relied on my older sister to take me to places, even to my own classroom.

26. Cannot let my husband get too close to my ears. I cannot stand it. I feel he is breathing into me. Cannot describe it. Am I crazy?

27. Cannot read books with no visuals. Cannot focus enough.

28. Forgot to mention CLUMSY as a child. My grandfather used to laugh and say I looked like a chicken caught up in the wind when I was running.

29. Hands: where do I put them when I'm walking? I don't know, do you?

I will leave it to this and await some precious feedback.

Many thanks,
Mira

Do you? topic

Welcome to WP. This is a support site, but not a Dx department.

Is getting Dx important? Many adults here, like me, got Dx because they were having problems coping in life and wanted to know the reason. But if you are managing well, would a Dx matter?

People are welcome to WrongPlanet whether they diagnosed AS or not. Feel free to discuss your own unique situations.

As for your sensory issues, I have experienced some. we are all different, as you will soon learn.

You'll find several WP regulars who were diagnosed as adults. The likelihood that I had AS was brought to my attention about five years ago, but I was officially DX'd last summer.

It's a little harder to get diagnosed as an adult, since you don't have the benefit of school counselors, etc. trained to look for it, as many kids do today - and the number of mental health professionals who know what to look for in adults as opposed to kids, is fewer (many symptoms present differently in adults than in kids). But they are out there, and there are local Mental Health facilities in most suburban metro areas that can put you on the right track.

I see a lot of posts here indicating that getting an adult diagnosed is prohibitively expensive, but there is federal and state subsidized assistance for low-and-no-income patients. Check with a local Counseling and Guidance center for information on those programs.

Some here have also indicated that certain institutions of higher learning may have psyche grad student programs and such that can issue an official DX. I'm sure those with such experience will be happy to fill you in.

As for sartresue's impertinent question whether a diagnosis should be important - if it wasn't important to you, you wouldn't have come here seeking answers. You'll find as you get familiar with the place, that a great many of us not diagnosed until adulthood find a tremendous sense of vindication and relief in validating that the things that have troubled us and set us apart from our peer group for so many years have an identifiable source. It's so nice to have proof at last that we're not crazy or weird (well, okay, maybe a little weird - 'unique' weird) - we're just seeing the world through a different lens.

And then, of course, there's the question of public assistance, should you need it. An official diagnosis can qualify you for SSDI, should you feel that you require it. Some do, some don't. But without that officially stamped DX, it's inaccessible.

Dxed at 33ish.

Hate getting my shoulders touched.

I also became silly in my 20's. Arrested Development really brought out my appreciation for Comedy. Even after I realized they were making fun of me.

The touch sensitivity the sensitivity to noise and light I can sympathasize as for a diagnosis who cares, we all learn to cope better as we get older.

Hi and Welcome Mira,

I was diagnosed as an adult in my mid thirties.

In retrospect, I'm not really sure what the point of getting diagnosed is. In Australia, there's no extra support (not that I've found anyway) - I'm not sure about your location.

In any case, nobody here is really qualified to diagnose you but you'll find that the aspie quiz has surprising accuracy.

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Thanks for the feedback. I would like to get diagnosed to learn to cope better and raise my self esteem. The problem is that in the Middle East, people are not that open about these things yet especially when it comes to adults.
I do not know where to go to for a proper diagnosis. Psychologist, psychiatrist, neurologist?
I have no idea if specialists here have worked with people with Asperger's. In such closed societies, the tendency is for severe cases to seek help whereas people like me end up struggling by themselves.

my therapist gave me a provisional dx, which was confirmed by my psychiatrist although he couldn't give a full assessment. I'm going to a neuropsychologist in Nov. for a full assessment so I can find out what my strengths/weaknesses are.

I can relate to a lot of what you describe.

I personally could never figure out why people like to get tongued in the ear. it's the grossest feeling I've ever encountered. I usually flinch away from any approach to my neck or head because of all the weird things people do.